Could this be passive aggressive fat shaming?

[Blueberryancakes]

Im a UK 20 and I feel the heat. I’m always a bit warm. My work gets very hot. Big windows and no ventilation.

I rarely put the air con on because as soon as I do some of the woman I work with complain it’s too cold. I bring a desk fan to
work with me and keep it aimed at me and no one else.
I work at a doctors surgery. Lots of the patients make comments about how hot it is in the waiting room. Some even wait outside.Very often woman patients always make a comment on my fan saying how they could never work with a fan as they’d be freezing. If the air con is turned on some woman will comment how cold it is.
I think FFS it’s not you that has to sit in here all day. Men never complain, never comment. It’s mainly middle aged
woman. Yes I’m fat, yes I get hot. I try my best to have a small discreet fan on my desk. But woman seem to make such a song and dance about it.
My husband said today he thinks it’s a passive aggressive way for them to call me fat.
Anyone else think there’s any truth in this?
Is it a way to come across ultra feminine to be cold?
Sorry if this come across bonkers?

This situation really is crazy. Women of a certain age (patients and staff) in a GP practice say they are cold when the air-conditioning is switched on. And that is interpreted as fat shaming! If this is how some overweight people react to that kind of banal comment, they must find daily life a real struggle

Omg the AC is not on!

OP is just putting on the small desk fan and pointing it at herself!

Equally no one cares if you’re cold! You are there for a brief visit, bring a coat if you have a problem.

And I’m from a very hot Asian country too!

If the air con is turned on some woman will comment how cold it is.

Yes, on the RARE occasion someone else puts it on. Not OP.

The staff should be comfortable. Patients are in and out, they can tolerate the temperature whereas staff are there for hours.
On the whole, thinner people tend to feel colder than fatter people. Obviously there are exceptions.
Patients should stop moaning. Think yourself lucky you get seen.

It’s a doctor’s office, there’s a good chance that the women there are unwell, which often affects body temperature. I run cold anyway but when I am sick (or when I was suffering from autoimmune arthritis for a year), cold especially affects me.

Putting on a coat and scarf (which I live in) is taken as an indicator by the OP and others as being an act of passive-aggression and a personal attack, so it’s had to se how to win here.

OP doesn’t even say the word ‘coat’ let alone that wearing one is an act of passive - aggression!

If the building is warm enough that OP needs her fan on then the chances of it being cold enough to affect anyone else’s health are slim to none.

I am also this, I'm Goldilocks in every area!

Today when I left the house I was ok then a bit hot. Got to work, had an internal heatwave then I went back to being cold but be assured, not long after I was too hot!

None of it was aimed at anybody thinner or fatter than me, I can't help being cold or for that matter hot.

They are just making small talk. They are hardly going to know about the OPs preoccupation with people saying they feel cold being some kind of weird, passive aggressive dig about her weight. Most people don't spend their lives obsessing about whether people think they're fat or not, or whether the person they're chatting to is overweight or not.

Is it small talk? The receptionists at my local surgery are always busy, taking calls, working on their computers, I can’t imagine anyone telling them they’re cold to make conversation.

Yeah saying ooh it's Baltic or blimey it's like a sauna in here is small talk.

What else would it be?

It doesn’t feel like small talk to OP.

As I said, I can’t imagine saying that in our surgery. They’re too busy for small talk and I wouldn’t bother them with inanities.

Exactly.

My GP surgery is busy, but they quite often have a bit of small talk. Walk up to the hatch, say hello and maybe a "brrr! Freezing today, isn't it? You must be toasty back there! Anyway, I've got an appointment at 11..."

But apparently in this alternate universe, people not only performatively shiver, they also don't speak to anyone like a regular human either.

Performative robotery?

Performative robotery?

🤣

No, they’re probably saying it because they’re cold!!

I can just imagine the look on the receptionist’s face if I said that to her. She genuinely is so busy I wouldn’t bother her.

🤖 😁

My husband said today he thinks it’s a passive aggressive way for them to call me fat

Is your husband the one calling you fat in a passive aggressive way? 🤔

This thread has made me I wonder if, because I have a zillion food allergies and often can't eat any of the food at social events, there were weirdos who thought I was passive aggressively fat-shaming or being performative when I refused food. I'm now thinking there were probably some over the years. I certainly got a lot of comments.
I used to have a roommate who skinny-shamed me and I encountered it from other people over the years as well. I was rudely accused of having anorexia nervosa many times, which I did not have. I just had trouble putting on weight.

haha I guess pass-agg moral superiority isn’t just the domain of the “teeny tinies”.

I'd never ever ever link the two
I'm a size 8/10 and I'm constantly cold. So if I said it to you, it's more about who I am and how I feel than you being over right.

I think your husband might be the one to question here 🧐🤔

How is her being busy my moral pass agg superiority?

I’m sure you do understand it but if you want me to spell it out, the moral superiority comes from you claiming that you would never take up a busy receptionist’s time or attention with concerns like the temperature of the room (with the implication that it is exceedingly petty to do so) despite the fact that looking after customers in reception is a core part of what a receptionist’s is being paid to do.

I said ‘The receptionists at my local surgery are always busy, taking calls, working on their computers, I can’t imagine anyone telling them they’re cold to make conversation.’

I have never seen them chit chat with anyone. I have never seen them leave their glass fronted office. All Interactions are behind a glass wall.

The set up is designed to discourage small talk and keep them safe. It’s not conducive to chit chat.

If you’re seeing moral superiority here it’s in your head.