Could this be passive aggressive fat shaming?

[Blueberryancakes]

Im a UK 20 and I feel the heat. I’m always a bit warm. My work gets very hot. Big windows and no ventilation.

I rarely put the air con on because as soon as I do some of the woman I work with complain it’s too cold. I bring a desk fan to
work with me and keep it aimed at me and no one else.
I work at a doctors surgery. Lots of the patients make comments about how hot it is in the waiting room. Some even wait outside.Very often woman patients always make a comment on my fan saying how they could never work with a fan as they’d be freezing. If the air con is turned on some woman will comment how cold it is.
I think FFS it’s not you that has to sit in here all day. Men never complain, never comment. It’s mainly middle aged
woman. Yes I’m fat, yes I get hot. I try my best to have a small discreet fan on my desk. But woman seem to make such a song and dance about it.
My husband said today he thinks it’s a passive aggressive way for them to call me fat.
Anyone else think there’s any truth in this?
Is it a way to come across ultra feminine to be cold?
Sorry if this come across bonkers?

Same. There’s a woman in my office who always makes a massive fuss over being too hot but I’m sat there shivering !

Just a thought, but as a representative and gate-keeper of medical services, have you thought about losing some of your weight?

As it is so on the Agenda for improving our health I'm sur you've heard about it. And if your need for an electric fan to cool you down is weight-related, then just think about the savings made for the Surgery by not having to pay the power costs for your personal 'fan' any more.

I eat all the burgers and pasta and toasted sammies I like, thanks very much, yet I’m still slim and still get cold enough to wear my scarf and cardigan with knuckle-length sleeves even when the thermostat is at 22 indoors and most other people are perfectly comfortable.

Your glib “solution” is only a sign of your own discomfort with the fact that slim people aren’t necessarily that way because they’re starving themselves.

I was like this and my GP prescribed Nifedipine. Totally gamechanging! Reaching for a puffa jacket in an open plan office is a thing of the past. I’m no doubt less feminine for it though!

I think there's often a performative vulnerability with moaning that you're cold...It can be quite tedious.

Nope I think you're completely wrong

Get off your ridiculous high horse. Is your own self esteem really that low?

What? 🤣

Same as in the summer when it goes above 20° and people are constantly moaning that they are hot. It can be quite tedious.

Thats interesting. I am on high blood pressure meds but dont have high blood pressure anymore (although Im told to stay on them)

I see this is for high blood pressure. I didnt think there was medication for Raynauds? Ive been told he might start me on thyroid medication I need to go back at some point to raise it again

Bloody hell, where there's a will there's a way when it comes to people looking to be offended.

I've always been cold (and yes I am one of those dreaded "teeny tinies"!). I also have Raynauds. However, me and the other "teeny tinies" in all of the offices I've worked in usually just sit and suffer through the arctic air-conditioning being blasted. Sometimes by men, sometimes by large women, sometimes by menopausal women.

In my experience, as soon as I've taken over the A/C it's always a whinge of "can't you just put a cardigan on? It's soooooo hot", so I stopped bothering. Not worth the complaints. Thank God for WFH.

This. I never understand this 'everything anyone does or says has me at the center' attitude.
Someone who's attending a dr appt so likely to be unwell says they're cold, and your first thought is 'me!! Clearly they're focused on me!!' ?

What a daft comment. 🙄

I think women are probably a little more conversational and chit-chatty than men. So you’ll generally get more comments out of them, whether they’re positive or negative. Maybe you just remember the negative, fan-related ones. That’s the only tenuous link I’ve got!

I am perfectly healthy apart from my piss poor circulation/ reynaulds. Nifedipine feels like someone is actually firing me up inside. Putting coal in my engine. It’s made such a difference. I want to go outside on cold days much more than I did.

Will nobody think of those of us who are both fat and always cold? 😂

I get what you mean and do think it could be for some people.

Dont think its anything to do with having a dig at your weight.
Some people feel the cold easy some get hot easy Im either freezing or boiling there is no in-between for me my condition means I cant self regulate body temp well so my body could not tolerate sitting in air con all day but then I would bring a jumper and let everyone else be comfortable 🤷🏻‍♀️

Its a big cause of depression and anxiety to see yourself at the centre of everything, that everything someone says or does is aimed at or in response to or about you.

Very unhealthy.

People are laughing at this comment but I know what you mean. My workplace is objectively quite warm but one of my colleagues will go on all the time about being cold, wrap herself in blankets that she has brought in and walk around or into other offices wearing it. She will interrupt a meeting to announce she just has to close the window right now because she's so cold. This is part of a wider pattern of behaviour of "poor little me" and it's really annoying at times.

Women have, on average, slower metabolisms and consequently are more prone to feeling the cold. So it’s not surprising it’s women rather than men who comment on it feeling cold. They’re probably right at the lower end of normal and have to put up with public spaces being on the brink of too cold a lot of the time.

Competitively cold. 😂

I've heard it all now.

Yes, we sit around trying to outdo each other via our poor circulation. We're so desperately trying to be poor, fragile consumptive maids.

Actually, in reality we just swap recommendations for thermals and cosy lounge wear. My work group chat last week was all about fluffy socks.

Cannot see any connection with being overweight. You seen a bit sensitive.

Yes thank you, this is what I mean.

🙄

Something tells me that you are over-egging your colleague's behaviour and actions.