To think parents nowadays are just weak

[Alberta56]

Not sure is it just me but I feel like most parents are just soft and incapabble to discipline their own kids. I constantly see topics here and not only about small kids doing what they want - screaming, tantrums, wanting stuff and parents are just so helpless. When I go on the tube kids screaming putting their dirty feet on the seats. At home kids not wanting to eat and parents act like they own a restaurant immediately cooking something else. What's wrong with saying NO, or ""keep quiet" or " you eat whats available or "you go and play alone while mommy reads a book for 1 h". Why are parents constantly trying to keep kids entertained and spend a fortune on stupid activities. Worst thing is that I see young colleagues 18/ 19 years old coming to work and are just incapable of being a human - constantly late, all the time have to think about their feelings and emotions can't even complain to HR when they're not doing their job properly....I just don't get it really. I'm about to be a mom myself and if I need i will discipline my kid with firm approach non of that " let them express themselves" cr@p.

🎣

Totally agree. When I was a child scremsing was not allowed. Now I never hear a parent trying to stop their child making unacceptable noise levels

Let's bring back corporal punishment 👏🏻

What's wrong with saying NO, or ""keep quiet" or " you eat whats available or "you go and play alone while mommy reads a book for 1 h".

I mean it depends on their age I suppose, but lots of people would consider this pretty lazy parenting too 🤷‍♀️

I think it's important to teach your kids that they need to play alone from time to time. Creating a kid that depends on someone else all the time and can't spend 10 min alone is not only making them unnecessary needy but makes them fall into unhealthy relationships later in life

I'm in my 40s and completely agree with you.

To think some posts are vile nowadays and just wanting a reaction! I am weak for typing a reply.

Completely agree with you OP

Yanbu

That is your opinion and it's good that if this topic is not relevant to you you don't say much . It's a normal question and I'm asking because it's interesting what people think...sorry if you feel offended.

Return once you've had your child and they have reached at least toddlerhood

I’m autistic and have ADHD and my two daughters are autistic and I’m on my knees with exhaustion as I also work full time and I know my children are hard work and I do my best.

but apparently I’m a shit weak parent. Thanks for that. Oh well I guess you are only saying what others think

"I'm about to be a mom myself and if I need i will discipline my kid with firm approach non of that " let them express themselves" cr@p."

We'll see. Come back in about three years and let us know how you're getting on.

It's since we stopped sending them up chimneys.

Yes agree 100%
One rule we have now is there is 2 choices for dinner take it or leave it, otherwise they would just eat pizza and chips or chicken nuggets if given the choice.

I agree with you op but we are all great parents before we actually have dc!

Yeah I was an amazing parent when I was “about to be a mom”. I had loads of good ideas about how I was going to raise my children - most of which either didn’t work or didn’t suit my particular children or I no longer wanted to do once I was an actual parent dealing with an actual small person who had actual feelings and needs of their own. Plus mine had special needs too.

Maybe revisit your thoughts in a few years?

Also completely agree.

Everything is so child centred - I think it’s unhealthy to prioritise another person to the extent that is the done thing now. It’s detrimental to parents too.

It starts with pregnancy - so often posts from women terrified they’ve made some minor transgression by eating the wrong thing.

Or the women who was frantic with worry she wasn’t stimulating her weeks old baby enough because she hadn’t been going to baby classes.

Years ago the approach was much more balanced and wasn’t always children first.

Sometimes Kim or dad came first and kids had to learn to put up with it. Being the most important person all of the time builds no resilience and I believe it’s bad for children.

Same for no boundaries and not expecting children to behave. They’re either running around in a restaurant or have a tablet plonked in their lap.

Again it teaches them nothing so they don’t learn to behave in different situations.

Then they grown up entitled and believing the world should bend for them. A lot of them are in for a nasty shock.

Completely agree. I think there’s a difference between the standard “older generation thinking that kids have never had it so good” and the total abdication of parenting I have observed on several occasions over the past 20 years (so not a massively new thing). A family member is a case in point, and her previously delightful child is turning into a nasty, spoilt brat who is unpopular with peers and parents.

In the work arena, GenZ really are extraordinarily entitled. Some of the expectations are just staggering.

You're so right. It's lucky that dd has thrived under my useless parenting and dragged herself up into a beautifully behaved teen. She's blooming lovely

Of course it's different when you actually have kids no doubt. I was just having guests the other day and kids didn't take shoes off just stormed in my flat and we are not even close friends. Started eating and parents just gave them crumbly cookies without a plate not even noticing the mess they left or offering to clean and the kids were 6 years old not even that little. Basic things really and it's not the kids fault

Good luck OP

I think it's easier to criticise when you are not even a parent yourself yet

Please take some time to learn about child development, it will really help you in the long run. A great book is Beginnings by Sarah Ockwell Smith, there are chapters talking about baby in utero so there's no harm in getting it now.

Also try to remember that it's not parent verses child, you're meant to be a family and your job is to raise them not essentially try to control every little thing they do to your satisfaction... this approach won't end well for you or them.

If you haven’t had children yet you can’t judge. Parenting is hard. Lots of us get no support from family. I was raised by abusive parents, I wasn’t allowed to scream or even cry. I don’t know the best way of disciplining children, I try my best but sometimes get it wrong probably, as everyone does sometimes.

Bahahahahaha good luck with that OP I especially love your go play quietly whilst mummy reads a book for an hour 🤣 I give you 5 mins before you have to stop a toddler doing something insane!
Please do come back to the thread in 3 years and let us know how your getting along!

Also the beige stage for toddlers is a development thing completely normal but is a challenge for parents. It's difficult to get the balance right thankfully some rather good and helpful people and nutritionists on Instagram have written books to help.