To think parents nowadays are just weak

[Alberta56]

Not sure is it just me but I feel like most parents are just soft and incapabble to discipline their own kids. I constantly see topics here and not only about small kids doing what they want - screaming, tantrums, wanting stuff and parents are just so helpless. When I go on the tube kids screaming putting their dirty feet on the seats. At home kids not wanting to eat and parents act like they own a restaurant immediately cooking something else. What's wrong with saying NO, or ""keep quiet" or " you eat whats available or "you go and play alone while mommy reads a book for 1 h". Why are parents constantly trying to keep kids entertained and spend a fortune on stupid activities. Worst thing is that I see young colleagues 18/ 19 years old coming to work and are just incapable of being a human - constantly late, all the time have to think about their feelings and emotions can't even complain to HR when they're not doing their job properly....I just don't get it really. I'm about to be a mom myself and if I need i will discipline my kid with firm approach non of that " let them express themselves" cr@p.

I wish I was as good a parent as…checks notes…people who are not actually parents yet...

Assuming this isn’t just a pot stir, good luck OP, I was an outstanding parent before I had kids 👍🏻

Yes but life has a way of catching up with everyone; watch and see

I did too!

Total opposite

Bed sharing, extended breastfeeding, gentle parenting parent who reads tons of parenting books

Definitely not the mother I thought I would be at all, I was soooo judgmental

I was a much better parent to my hypothetical children.

I actually agree with a lot of what you’ve said. However, as others have pointed out, we all start with the best of intentions and sometimes our vision doesn’t really take off the way we planned. With that said, I don’t really know or I am not around kids that don’t take off their shoes before coming in my house, or parents that allow kids to eat messy foods all over my house - we sit at the table/eat over a plate. I’m not doubting that happened but I’d say I know a lot of parents who teach the basics and have wonderful, well mannered kids, but kids nonetheless who are of course not robots and act like kids do.

Congratulations btw xx 💐

My children are much older so I can speak from my own experience and I agree with a lot of what the OP has said. I would have said the same as her before I had children and say the same now, not everyone struggles with bringing up their children

"I'm about to be a mom myself..."

Ah yes, the best parents are always the ones who don't have children.

Come back when you have a 5 year old and a 3 year old, and perhaps see how you feel then. Honestly, becoming a parent, especially second time round, has been humbling for me and has taught me to be far less judgmental and much more tolerant of others.

This

I can’t wait to see your posts in 2 years time 😂

“Why are my kids shouting at me about yoghurts 😩”

😂😂

@DreamW3aver

Or they get older and ✨ forget ✨

I sort of agree although you haven't had your own yet.

Both parents work
Phones / tech
'Parenting' instead of 'having kids'
A million activities instead of going outside on bikes
Less freedom
More people
Faster cars
Refusing to tell kids to stfu in the nicest possible way, for example in a restaurant

Read 'your one year old' 'your two year old' etc. eye-opening as to previous 'parenting.'

Phones and kids having too much power main problem

I think your posting style is beyond goady OP but I do agree that too many kids are ruling their parents.

Only this morning as I walked my dog, I watched little Billy kicking the shit out of his mum in the park, whilst she bent down to talk about hurt feelings and how hitting her hurts.

Except he booted her in the knees and she fell backwards, whilst still calmly telling him his behavior was hurtful 🙄

I have no idea what happened in the end but I wouldn't be surprised if they were still there, 'chatting' about it.

Absolutely spot on, OP, fortunately none of my business.
👍😁

Do you have a unicorn toddler who also slept through the night from 3 months old?! 😂

In my house if it's quiet then it means either DS1/DS2 or both are up to something they shouldn't be! Last time it went quiet DS2 had got into my makeup bag and was busy colouring himself in with my rather expensive lipstick!

You know that old show biz saying, 'never work with children, or animals'?

Best you don't do that if you aren't prepared to be both flexible and adaptable in the face of the tiny terrorists!

Also, something you might want to bone up on, while you still have time to read, is what is appropriate in terms of expectations at each developmental stage.

You sound highly aspirational OP, which can be a good thing - or a recipe for rueful disaster!

What you said is the exact reason my Niecd has decided not to have children, she felt it would be too difficult in a society that largely parents his you describe.

She'd be fight a losing battle doing different.

I imagined to be a parent like that but life threw me a strong willed child who didn't sleep and was never content. So you basically sail through to survive and pick your battles or you create a traumatised child for restraining them and shouting at them. I picked sailing through and picking my battles whilst holding the fort on boundaries. I was one of those parents that said no iPad but now I'm giving the iPad so i can have a moment of me time which is getting things done in the house. I was also the parent that said no to sweets, now though i use it for rewards and bribery for that long needed haircut, or to get into the bath.

So after all this grunt work and exhaustion you do whatever it takes to survive. I haven't touched a book in 5 years because there's no downtime and no relaxing. Going to work is my downtime but then i have to work with incompetent twats and deal with saving the company and rush home to do daily chores and parenting and deal with homework, dinner, getting the kids to bath/bed. Yes there are pretty shit parents but the majority of parents are trying to survive. I do better parenting than my parents ever did where my mother didn't work and was home all day and I'm still a well adjusted adult standing on my two feet, degree educated, have a professional job and a considerate citizen.

We all think we will be practically perfect in every way like Mary Poppins until we give birth.
I’m willing to bet you also think your children will never have 😱 screen time 😱 too, OP.
You wait ………

nothing like a person with no children waxing lyrical about how to parent 🙄

You can tell you’re not a parent yet. ‘Weak’ is screaming, shouting, ignoring or hitting your children. It takes a very strong parent to show patience and kindness when you feel frustrated and tired.

Maybe aiming for somewhere in the middle between incompetent and authoritarian is an option!

Kids are over scheduled now I agree. I see parents are often more fearful now to allow freedom to go out and play. I blame the internet and social media as we have stories thrust on us continually now.

Economically, I believe more mums have to work compared to prior generations so that makes life really difficult.

Actually listening to kids is a really good thing! The amount of sexual and physical abuse that was totally ignored or disbelieved back in the day is sickening. This put up and shut up mentality just re enforces that.

Today's 18 and 19 yr olds were 14 and 15 when lockdown started. Factor that in when you're assessing their ability to be "human"

LoL. Come back when your child is 3 🤪.

To be fair I’ve totally ridden out an ice lolly tantrum today but gave in to carrying her for a bit on the walk home. Meh, you pick your battles. I’d also echo what a pp said about developmental stages. Tantrums and not wanting to play alone are really normal. Also normal to have a v fussy food stage in toddlerhood. I found it useful to remind myself that it was necessary for their survival - you don’t want a 2 year old toddling off and eating random berries! They do grow out of it in most cases.

oh and my 3 yo is awesome at playing alone - just her personality. My older one was very very different - terrible at playing alone (but popular, outgoing and independent at 12). However at least the 12 year old didn’t go off alone, the little one will just see sonething and head off without a thought to where I am.

I also found it helpful to remember that whatever you see outside the house is a tiny snapshot. We all have our parenting things we are great at and those we are less hot on. Try and be a bit less judgemental and look for the positives. You’ll really appreciate the people who do that for you in a year + time.