Fiancé has agreed to be a Guarantor - I’m not happy

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Not sure if I’m being highly unreasonable or fully entitled to be majorly fucked off with him.

His sister has asked him to be a guarantor on a rental that they want to upsize to as the partner has recently gone self employed.

he initially asked if I would be too but I was overseas at the time as I asked for us to discuss it when I was home.

he then said that we weren’t needed as they found someone. That then fell through and so they asked if just DF would do it. Again said let’s discuss when I’m home.

ive found out today that they have a moving date and have been packing. Turns out DF has agreed to do it without any communication to me.

so YABU - it’s family, you should think twice and just sign to dotted line asap

or YANBU - as an engaged couple, decisions that affect your family unit should be discussed at length before concluding on a decision together.

Is he fully aware of the implications if for some reason they can no longer afford their rent ?

I would not be happy with this…..I wouldn’t even be guarantor for my own children….much as I love them

Can he afford their rent and his share of your rent/mortgage?

What happens if you marry? Will your funds be at risk?

I would absolutely do this for family. What's the chance of them not paying their rent?
Renting is so bloody hard, the market is absolute bullshit. They probably didn't have time to wait and your fiancé wanted to help. It's sad you wouldn't. Unless they're usually unreliable with rent which I assume they're not because they wouldn't have been eligible for the property with past arrears.

I'd do this in a heartbeat for my brother, it wouldnt need a discussion as my DH would fully back me.

It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s that don’t feel informed enough to have said yes/no at this point.

they are both lovely people and great family unit and I want to help naturally, I want the best possible relationship with them but I’m not 100% confident it would be paid every month without fail. Especially with it being a new self employed job, what if the work just do want come in?

I don’t know if we married and they were behind on rent would I be facing losing my house if I can’t cover their rent and he hasn’t been able to either?

Yanbu - it has massive implications, it should be a joint decision.

Why are they upsizing? Why don't they just wait until he has a few years of accounts under his belt and can get better credit?

Is it too late for him to undo his decision ?

Do you live together?

Can he afford their rent and his rent/mortgage?

Assuming they’re solvent grown ups I’d not have a problem with that at all.

This is entirely the wrong time to be a guarantor - when someone has given up the security of an employed role to be self employed. Most self employed businesses fail.
If you have joint finances with your fiance, I would be dismantling them. He wants to take the risk, then the risk is his, not yours. His family do not drag you under.
If he gets caught out and needs to pay for them, he takes an extra job, so that you are not suffering because of his unwise decision, you are not covering him, while he covers them.
Never guarantor unless you can afford to lose the money.

YANBU.

I'd be furious if someone put me down as guarantor without my permission.

In fact, I'd be seeing them in a new light (and not a good one).

It's like them seeing your money as his/hers. Fuck that!

Sorry you're going through that OP, must be really difficult.

Financial security in life is everything. Bringing my child up solo has taught me that.

From what I can see he didn't put her down, he put himself down as guarantor.

And then they lose their jobs…or in sisters case self employment doesn’t work out..,,,or they get sick….and can’t pay…..so then you liable for all the rent for the duration of the tenancy…fuck that

Crikey

Being a guarantor is a serious commitment. I am guarantor for 2 of my children (students) and, as they are in shared flats, actually took out insurance (cost £200 each) in case the other flatmates defaulted. I think that's only available for students though.
Do you know how long the guarantor agreement is for? If it's for 6 months then risk is manageable, if it's open ended then I would have a real problem with it.
If your finances are separate then it his risk and he takes the consequences. If you have joint finances then he is completely wrong.
I understand that he feels he wants to help family but are you not family too?

whilst I would discuss this out of courtesy with my OH, the only way I’d ask ‘permission’ is if I couldn’t cover their rent myself in the event it all went wrong. If I could cover it personally, I wouldn’t be asking, I’d be informing.

I wouldn't have asked my fiancé's permission if I was going to do it, I would have just let him know. You don't presumable have shared finances at present, it's his decision.

If you were to remortgage / want a mortgage the rent your partner is paying is taken into account so could reduce what you can borrow

they rarely let a guarantor off the hook it’s often open ended
so for as long as they rent the flat / house he’s on the hook for it if they don’t pay

the landlord / estate agent won’t let your partner out of the contract

he could be on the hook for thousands and thousands of pounds

if you live together
rent or own a place together he’s taken the piss massively with your finances

if you don’t live together I would seriously rethink your relationship

I’ve seen it end in tears….my neighbour ended up owing 22 months of rent as her son lost his job 2 months into a tenancy….the rent was £900 a month….she couldn’t pay and the landlord started a claim on her own property after she had already got herself into debt …..which is basically what happens……if you’ve got a spare 10 - 20k then go for it…..otherwise think very carefully …..no matter how close the relationship

and we are not talking about homeless people…..we are talking about a family member wanting to upsize

My issue with being a guarantor is that you may not know they have fallen into arrears until the debt has got quite large. If the rent is £1K a month, and you don't find out about it until the landlord finally approaches you in desperation, you could be looking at £10k. Plus damages if the property hasn't been looked after.

To mitigate the risk, the only way I would ever contemplate being a guarantor is if I received a monthly statement so could be aware immediately of any potential liability.

I wouldn't be happy if my DH agreed to be a guarantor without consulting me.

No one can put you down as a guarantor without your permission. You have to personally sign a legal contract with the landlord of the property to be a guarantor. The issue here is the OP's fiancé has gone ahead and signed himself as a guarantor without consulting her, and it affects their joint finances.

I’d question why her son couldn’t get a job which earned him at least £900 / month, tbh. My mum has been my guarantor, she didn’t have lots of spare money but equally I’d have got any job anywhere to avoid her paying my rent. It seems to me if you trust the person not to be a selfish twat, it’s not an issue.

I wouldn't be marrying him.

He took a big decision without you. You're lucky that being unmarried means you bear nine of the legal risk, only the knock on of him having to cough up for it. Which might mean a hit to joint funds or you losing disposable income to subsidise him.

If you were married he would be making a decision that you would be legally liable for wothout your consent.

So I wouldn't be marrying him, it's that simple. I'm not sure where that leaves your relationship. If you are renting perhaps move home and give notice to the landlord to show him actions have consequences and you won't be walked over.