Fiancé has agreed to be a Guarantor - I’m not happy

[workworkbloodywork]

Not sure if I’m being highly unreasonable or fully entitled to be majorly fucked off with him.

His sister has asked him to be a guarantor on a rental that they want to upsize to as the partner has recently gone self employed.

he initially asked if I would be too but I was overseas at the time as I asked for us to discuss it when I was home.

he then said that we weren’t needed as they found someone. That then fell through and so they asked if just DF would do it. Again said let’s discuss when I’m home.

ive found out today that they have a moving date and have been packing. Turns out DF has agreed to do it without any communication to me.

so YABU - it’s family, you should think twice and just sign to dotted line asap

or YANBU - as an engaged couple, decisions that affect your family unit should be discussed at length before concluding on a decision together.

@GreatMistakes · Today 19:56

I wouldn't be marrying him.

He took a big decision without you. You're lucky that being unmarried means you bear none of the legal risk, only the knock on of him having to cough up for it. Which might mean a hit to joint funds or you losing disposable income to subsidise him.

Yeah this. I would think verrrrry seriously about marrying this man @workworkbloodywork

For someone to agree to be a guarantor without consulting their wife-to-be, (or husband-to-be) first, is a really irresponsible thing to do. I would never EVER be a guarantor for anyone. Unless you can comfortably afford to pay off all the money they borrow - (if it's a loan,) or fork out a couple of years worth of rent, then don't do it.

Landlords are never in a rush to evict non-payers of rent if the tenant has a guarantor, because the guarantor HAS to pay the rent. YOU (the guarantor) will be taken to court for the money, and have the bailiffs coming along to take your possessions - if the person you are guarantor for doesn't cough up, (and YOU don't pay!) I have seen it happen!

It's a HUGE risk being a guarantor, and the agreement is watertight. You can NOT back out of it once you've signed the agreement.

Even if it's your CHILDREN, you should not agree to be guarantor if you aren't able to provide the funds (should they not pay up.)

It's going fook up your credit rating no matter what happens from now on. Really bad idea. I'd be fuming if this happened.

And you come across as very naïve. Being a guarantor is a massive financial risk and it absolutely CAN have an impact on the OP. As a guarantor, you can be taken to court for tens of thousands of rent arrears and damage costs. It's irrelevant that it's for family, family can screw over family, it happens every day.

To all those quibbling why someone would need it private rental requirements are ridiculous and discriminatory. I’m guessing they won’t consider the SE income at all, hence need for guarantor, this doesn’t mean they have bad credit ratings.

My brother did this for me when I split from my financially irresponsible DH.. his credit was crap which bought mine down as well ..

Have been in fabulous rental with landlords are now close friends .. I pay half the rent it should be because they have no mortgage on the house and we are genuine friends who 'get' the place (super rural ) ..: I don't think db even remembers he guaranteed the place as we have been here 15 years..

I would not marry him until this commitment is over. The implications to your financial future is not worth the risk.

I'm SE near Tunbridge Wells.. my house should be £1800 pcn but have always paid £875

To be fair though, Landlords really don't want to have to go after guarantors, as it costs them a lot of money to do so. And if you think about it, they only need to go after the guarantors if the tenants haven't paid their rent, so it's the tenants that have screwed the LL over. Besides, having guarantors these days is only so commonplace, due to the sheer volume of non-paying tenants leaving tens of thousands of rent arrears.

You dont seem to recognise the implications of this

If OP is a financial associate of her partner on credit records (or will become one), if he gets landed for a massive debt that he then cannot pay, either defaults or incurs interest or has it hanging over him, that will affect her credit worthiness.

It absolutely is her business.

We do live together in a property that I have a mortgage on.

So he is counting on you being financially sound so he can make the grand gesture of supporting his family? I would be hitting pause on the wedding to be honest and giving serious thought to where I went from here and if I wanted to be financially tied to this man.

Is it your property that is at risk if he is a guarantor? Does he have any claim on your property? Does he earn enough to cover their rent for several months if things go South? I wouldn't marry him until he was no longer a guarantor but in the meantime he can do what he likes at his own risk. Agree with others that he needs to get a monthly receipt of proof of paid rent payment so he doesn't get suprised with a 10 or 20k bill after several months of arrears.

Having said that my PIL and my DM have been guarantors for us for both our first rental and our first mortgage respectively. So appreciate when family can help out. (We never got into financial trouble so all was well)

But OP isn’t the guarantor her DF is so no impact on her. Mymarrying skmeine doesn’t make you liable their debts either. I’m a 40 something financial services professional who has been a landlord, homeowner and now rented last 10 years.im not naive i just view this very differently. I’ve helped friends out of tight spots because I generally try to help people if I can, if it were my sibling or my DP sibling I wouldn’t even question it provided they weren’t feckless

I'm surprised with how many people have said they would do this, I don't think I'd do it for anyone apart from my kids, who are financial dependent on me.

I think it depends on the people and the risk level. I would do it in a heartbeat for my sister because I know she would be able to pay it and I also know that if for whatever reason she lost her job then they have savings and also things they could sell to get the money before it would actually ever come to me, the risk of me ever actually having to pay would be so minimal and it would just be a box ticking exercise to allow them to get the rental.

But I wouldn’t in a million years do it for my BIL, neither would my husband, because he is famously shit with money, spends first and thinks later, and I know without a doubt that we’d end up having to bail him out very quickly and repeatedly.

So it depends on the person and the situation. I’m actually quite surprised he’s allowed to be a guarantor without being a home owner himself as I know that is usually one of the conditions.

@ReadingSoManyThreads or 6 months advance payment whatever it was. Tried to solve the problem with money but that didn't work. Either because of the rules/laws/policies or due to cautiousness. Thankfully owning a property got us the flat in the end. Thankfully that city has been the only place with the requirements for guarantors and have managed to rent hassle free elsewhere.

You clearly dont understand something as simple as credit worthiness. If he has a 20k debt sitting there that he needs to pay off, and OP and him want to apply for a mortgage together, it will get taken into account as a debt. That impacts on her, it impacts on her as she is financially associated with him if she has a joint account or joint finances in anyway, getting a loan for a sofa or car fo rexample

Its not just whether they're married or not either

Then with your work background, you should know that acting as guarantor can affect them getting a mortgage, which impacts the OP. It can also impact the OP once they're married and if debt it called in, their joint finances will be negatively impacted as the OP has clearly stated her DF cannot afford to pay his sister's rent if she can't.

It's also not about them not being feckless, businesses can fail, without being feckless, people can lose their jobs without being feckless. Even financially responsible people can fall on unexpected hard financial times.

I've been asked loads to be guarantor and said no on all occasions ... I was right to say no.
People need a guarantor when on paper it loads like they might not be able to pay up.

I'd never do it EVER & ID NEVER ASK ANYONE TO DO IT FOR ME 😣

at least legally the debt is not yours shared

I’d question why her son couldn’t get a job which earned him at least £900 / month, tbh. My mum has been my guarantor, she didn’t have lots of spare money but equally I’d have got any job anywhere to avoid her paying my rent. It seems to me if you trust the person not to be a selfish twat, it’s not an issue.

This is you though - she cannot make him get a job - he could develop a health problem and not be able to get a job. He could just decide he's not getting a job - it is too big a risk unless you can afford to write off the money you have guaranteed.

This all the way.

but then would you not just use the wifes name on the mortage etc ?

This.

I think thr issue here is a decision needed to be made and you didn’t know the urgency you kicked it into the long grass of discussion when you got home. Which clearly wasnt immediate. So he went ahead as you didn’t discuss it

the issue here is the lack of communication between you both.

This 100%