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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband kicking off over bath

319 replies

Seriouslyhowcouldyounot · 15/09/2024 18:37

So my husband loves a bath. Loves it!!! But we have one toilet in our house. For a while now I’ve said the second you’re ready to get in let me go to the loo so as to give him the longest time in there before I’m busting again.

tonight it’s all kicked off as I said can you not lock the door as I might be busting. Firstly to fully disclose we’ve been drinking so it goes through me like water, secondly I have a suspected water infection so when I need to go I NEED TO GO. He went nuts saying what’s changed in the 15 years and I should be able to wait 25 mins. Yes maybe I should, maybe I can wait an hour or even two but what if I need to go!!! I said I wouldn’t just burst in I would knock but no apparently I lock the door when I shower FOR 10 minutes so he should be able to bathe for 25. I get he likes a bath but ffs should I have to beg for the right to access to the loo. Am I nuts???

OP posts:
MiddleParking · 15/09/2024 18:42

You’re drinking with a water infection? Yes you’re nuts, how can you stand it?!

teatoast8 · 15/09/2024 18:43

You're not nuts. However your husband is an arsehole

Original poster
Seriouslyhowcouldyounot · 15/09/2024 18:43

MiddleParking · 15/09/2024 18:42

You’re drinking with a water infection? Yes you’re nuts, how can you stand it?!

Ha you’re right. I’m not in pain but seriously needing to go suddenly! Only had two drinks and stopping but yes constant wees

OP posts:
Differentstarts · 15/09/2024 18:45

Can't you go to the toilet when he's in the bath. However if he has a problem with this I do kind of get where he's coming from if all he wants is 25 minutes of interrupted alone time and your insisting you might need to interrupt him that would bug me to

99RedBallonz · 15/09/2024 18:45

You're married and you both lock the door when you have a bath or shower?

Slobberchops1 · 15/09/2024 18:47

He is entitled to privacy . Wait or pee in a cup

Follyfooty · 15/09/2024 18:47

I would do time for anyone who interrupted my bath and I certainly take longer than 25 mins. If someone came in to use the bathroom WHEN I was in the bath… then we would have real problems.

Original poster
Seriouslyhowcouldyounot · 15/09/2024 18:48

Differentstarts · 15/09/2024 18:45

Can't you go to the toilet when he's in the bath. However if he has a problem with this I do kind of get where he's coming from if all he wants is 25 minutes of interrupted alone time and your insisting you might need to interrupt him that would bug me to

Thanks yes but he would have to get out of the bath which means getting cold to unlock the door. I suggested not locking so I can disturb as little as possible. I get he wants the peace but we have one loo what am I to do?? The suggestion I can control my bladder just peed me off (pun not intended)

OP posts:
CheeseWisely · 15/09/2024 18:49

99RedBallonz · 15/09/2024 18:45

You're married and you both lock the door when you have a bath or shower?

I lock the door when I'm home alone. Force of habit.

I thought you were going to say he was looking for 2 hours soaking in there OP. 25 minutes of privacy isn't unreasonable. Don't drink on a UTI!!

BIossomtoes · 15/09/2024 18:50

99RedBallonz · 15/09/2024 18:45

You're married and you both lock the door when you have a bath or shower?

I know. Bizarre, isn’t it?

Wisterical · 15/09/2024 18:50

25 minutes is not overly long for a bath and of course everyone is entitled to privacy whilst bathing. Unless you live alone you can't always access the bathroom (or loo) immediately, whenever you want to. YABVU.

Hadalifeonce · 15/09/2024 18:50

We don't even have a door on our en suite, if we need to go we do, it's in and out, not much of a disturbance to whoever is in the bath or shower.

Differentstarts · 15/09/2024 18:50

Seriouslyhowcouldyounot · 15/09/2024 18:48

Thanks yes but he would have to get out of the bath which means getting cold to unlock the door. I suggested not locking so I can disturb as little as possible. I get he wants the peace but we have one loo what am I to do?? The suggestion I can control my bladder just peed me off (pun not intended)

Show quote history

But he's right can't you control your bladder for 25 minutes

rainbowstardrops · 15/09/2024 18:51

I don't often have baths these days but when I did, I'd be mightily fucked off if someone came in and sat on the toilet while I was trying to chill out!

DixonD · 15/09/2024 18:51

99RedBallonz · 15/09/2024 18:45

You're married and you both lock the door when you have a bath or shower?

I do. I’d rather my husband didn’t use the toilet when in the shower or bath. Luckily we have two bathrooms but yes, shower/bath is private, as is using the toilet. I know other couples happily share those moments but not me (or him, thankfully).

DixonD · 15/09/2024 18:51

BIossomtoes · 15/09/2024 18:50

I know. Bizarre, isn’t it?

Show quote history

No, it’s not.

NoodleNuts · 15/09/2024 18:52

I'm on your husbands side here - if you go immediately prior to him getting in the bath then surely you can wait 25 mins until you go again? I would be annoyed to be disturbed and no, I don't want anyone having a pee (or anything else) next to me whilst I'm in the bath!

CheeseWisely · 15/09/2024 18:52

Hadalifeonce · 15/09/2024 18:50

We don't even have a door on our en suite, if we need to go we do, it's in and out, not much of a disturbance to whoever is in the bath or shower.

Not the point of the thread but doesn't your bedroom get very damp with shower steam?

Skippydoodle · 15/09/2024 18:53

Just pee in a bucket or pan. I’ve had the builders in for 12 weeks completely remodelling our layout, our one and only toilet up until 2 weeks ago ended up at the bottom of the new staircase in the new hallway! I’ve been peeing in the utility into a pan! It’s really not the end of the world.

Differentstarts · 15/09/2024 18:53

You remind me of my youngest she's 3 and waits until I'm in the bath to come and have a chat and probably a dump it's really annoying 🤣🤣

Spenditlikebeckham · 15/09/2024 18:54

Ah the poor love having to get a chill opening the door. Shame on you op. Go wee in a bucket... What sort of dw are you?.. A fucking saint to pander to this shit.

ThinWomansBrain · 15/09/2024 18:54

only in the bath for 25 minutes - that's not a long bath.

Strictly1 · 15/09/2024 18:55

Do you never go anywhere? You can’t always have instant access to a loo!

BobbyBiscuits · 15/09/2024 18:56

Having only one bathroom between two or more is quite awkward sometimes.

I fully respect that he doesn't want you bursting in for a pee while he's bathing. I would be angry if my DH did that. But men seem to think peeing in bottles or out in the back yard is a perfectly reasonable solution to such issues. I've actually peed in an outdoor potted plant before when the bathroom was occupied. Not that I recommend it!
It's not very glamorous but could you buy a camping toilet/commode type thing for either of you to use in an emergency?

OnYourTogs · 15/09/2024 18:56

Skippydoodle · 15/09/2024 18:53

Just pee in a bucket or pan. I’ve had the builders in for 12 weeks completely remodelling our layout, our one and only toilet up until 2 weeks ago ended up at the bottom of the new staircase in the new hallway! I’ve been peeing in the utility into a pan! It’s really not the end of the world.

Better to pee in a bucket than just nip in and have a pee in the toilet while your husband is in the bath? I feel like I've wandered into an alternate universe

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