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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband kicking off over bath

319 replies

Seriouslyhowcouldyounot · 15/09/2024 18:37

So my husband loves a bath. Loves it!!! But we have one toilet in our house. For a while now I’ve said the second you’re ready to get in let me go to the loo so as to give him the longest time in there before I’m busting again.

tonight it’s all kicked off as I said can you not lock the door as I might be busting. Firstly to fully disclose we’ve been drinking so it goes through me like water, secondly I have a suspected water infection so when I need to go I NEED TO GO. He went nuts saying what’s changed in the 15 years and I should be able to wait 25 mins. Yes maybe I should, maybe I can wait an hour or even two but what if I need to go!!! I said I wouldn’t just burst in I would knock but no apparently I lock the door when I shower FOR 10 minutes so he should be able to bathe for 25. I get he likes a bath but ffs should I have to beg for the right to access to the loo. Am I nuts???

OP posts:
RanchRat · 16/09/2024 20:21

Wee in his wellingtons.

Duchesscheshire · 16/09/2024 20:31

No help.for op but this reminds me.of mine and dh first house. 2 up 2 down with bathroom downstairs. I would light candles, bubbles, glass of wine and book to read having a soak. cheeky face round the door and dh saying he needs a poo. Every fuffing time. We laugh. 40 years later we have 4 bathrooms plus 2 .guest toilets. We often reminisce about that first house and smile. Couldn't do it now but then being young and in love......😊

ThatDenimDeer · 16/09/2024 20:41

All these people that can’t be disturbed whilst they are in the bath clearly don’t have kids.

They love nothing more than to traipse in and out for multiple toilet trips whilst you “relax” 🤣🤣

NewGreenDuck · 16/09/2024 20:59

My kids are now adults, however as I locked the bathroom door, they certainly didn't traipse in when I was in the bath or shower. They used the downstairs loo.

VictoriaEra2 · 16/09/2024 21:01

We have a bell. A real ding ding bell bought from a car boot. Everyone who wants peace in the bath in our - six person, one bathroom household , must sound that bell before claiming bathroom. Oh my goodness. It’s worked! Even with the most recalcitrant teens.

AnnieSnap · 16/09/2024 21:06

Jesus, what a bloody drama. You may not be consciously aware of it, but this friction has to be about something else, not the bath/toilet. You are both being unreasonable!

Ukrainebaby23 · 16/09/2024 22:33

Strictly1 · 15/09/2024 18:55

Do you never go anywhere? You can’t always have instant access to a loo!

Off topic a bit but yes it's a right flipping pain needing the loo alot.
I have kidney disease and need to maintain hydration but I get fed up trying to find a loo. And the lack of services on the A14 (big problem) .

CrowleyKitten · 16/09/2024 22:38

BIossomtoes · 15/09/2024 18:50

I know. Bizarre, isn’t it?

Show quote history

there's only us and our cat, and I leave the door open. :P

Follyfooty · 16/09/2024 23:05

TheThreeCheesesOfTheApocalypse44 · 15/09/2024 19:35

Laughing at this thread......my ds spends hours in the bath and I once had to hop in for a pee which turned into a ' ghost poo' (( I was not aware there was a poo waiting to emerge.

I apologised to ds for breaking the unspoken rule of never shitting in the bathroom when someone else is in there and from behind the shower curtain he replied ' just leave mum. It's done now just go' In the most saddened, traumatised and defeated voice.

And yes, he still spends hours in the damn bath. Lying there marinating himself and topping up with more hot water. And no. We don't have another bathroom.

Your poor son. That is vile.

PorridgeEater · 17/09/2024 00:19

Can't you pee in a jug / bucket / whatever? (then empty it as soon as possible).

Atsocta · 17/09/2024 00:26

Slobberchops1 · 15/09/2024 18:47

He is entitled to privacy . Wait or pee in a cup

Remind me not have a cuppa in your house 😳🤮

jasminocereusbritannicus · 17/09/2024 07:11

I always nip in and have a wee before my dh gets in the bath. Once, I was desperate and made him pull the shower curtain across whilst I had the wee!!! I know we’re married, but I just can’t do bodily function things in front of him! It’s just the way I am. 🤭 Nor does he do that to me while I’m in the bath!

charlieinthehaystack · 17/09/2024 08:19

i have what they call an irritable bladder and even at worst times i can go an hour easily usually 4 hours or more
being a couple we dont lock doors why should we
as long as its not having a pooh we dont mind the other having a wee while the other is doing their shower but usually its at scheduled times like before work in the morning. hence quick wee one has a shower the other makes the bed sorts clothes etc then the other dresses while the first showers seems common sense to us

RecklessGoddess · 17/09/2024 08:28

Seriouslyhowcouldyounot · 15/09/2024 18:48

Thanks yes but he would have to get out of the bath which means getting cold to unlock the door. I suggested not locking so I can disturb as little as possible. I get he wants the peace but we have one loo what am I to do?? The suggestion I can control my bladder just peed me off (pun not intended)

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Why would he have to get out of the bath, if all you're doing is peeing. When I was with my ex, neither of us were worried about peeing in front of each other, it's not like you're pooping and stinking out the bathroom lol

Crakajak · 17/09/2024 08:44

Seriouslyhowcouldyounot · 15/09/2024 18:37

So my husband loves a bath. Loves it!!! But we have one toilet in our house. For a while now I’ve said the second you’re ready to get in let me go to the loo so as to give him the longest time in there before I’m busting again.

tonight it’s all kicked off as I said can you not lock the door as I might be busting. Firstly to fully disclose we’ve been drinking so it goes through me like water, secondly I have a suspected water infection so when I need to go I NEED TO GO. He went nuts saying what’s changed in the 15 years and I should be able to wait 25 mins. Yes maybe I should, maybe I can wait an hour or even two but what if I need to go!!! I said I wouldn’t just burst in I would knock but no apparently I lock the door when I shower FOR 10 minutes so he should be able to bathe for 25. I get he likes a bath but ffs should I have to beg for the right to access to the loo. Am I nuts???

Get a camping loo

mydogisthebest · 17/09/2024 10:46

Eenameenadeeka · 16/09/2024 09:20

I think you are being super unreasonable, of course he should be able to take a bath in peace in his own home

And she should be able to have a wee in her own home. For goodness sake how long does it take to wee so hardly disturbing his precious bath time very much.

PeachyPeachTrees · 17/09/2024 11:55

If this is an ongoing bladder issue, can you get an extra toilet? I don't think he is unreasonable to want a 25 minute bath without interruption.

Beautifulweeds · 17/09/2024 16:03

I would just go and use the toilet or it's that's a problem, she wee, garden, beaker? Xx

WiddlinDiddlin · 17/09/2024 16:19

RecklessGoddess · 17/09/2024 08:28

Why would he have to get out of the bath, if all you're doing is peeing. When I was with my ex, neither of us were worried about peeing in front of each other, it's not like you're pooping and stinking out the bathroom lol

Show quote history

Because he is locking the door... which is what this whole bloody post is about, she's asking him to not lock the door so if she needs to she can come in for a wee and he doesn't need to get out of the bath to open the door.

RecklessGoddess · 17/09/2024 16:38

WiddlinDiddlin · 17/09/2024 16:19

Because he is locking the door... which is what this whole bloody post is about, she's asking him to not lock the door so if she needs to she can come in for a wee and he doesn't need to get out of the bath to open the door.

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OK, I didn't read it properly due to only getting 3hrs sleep!

LackOfSleepCBA · 17/09/2024 17:30

Seriouslyhowcouldyounot · 15/09/2024 19:13

Oh and perimenopause is no joke. I can do several hours between pees or seemingly every 20 minutes 🤷‍♀️

Snap!! I feel you completely on that!! I'm going through perimenopause and I'm the same with peeing. Fed up with it!!

GreyCarpet · 17/09/2024 17:34

Wild wee in the garden.

cardibach · 17/09/2024 17:35

LackOfSleepCBA · 17/09/2024 17:30

Snap!! I feel you completely on that!! I'm going through perimenopause and I'm the same with peeing. Fed up with it!!

Show quote history

See if a doctor can help.
Go before he gets in. He only wants 25 mins…

StripyShirt · 17/09/2024 17:48

DixonD · 15/09/2024 18:51

No, it’s not.

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Yes it is

JudgeJ · 17/09/2024 17:49

GreyCarpet · 17/09/2024 17:34

Wild wee in the garden.

Exactly, when I'm gardening that's what I do, luckily a large part of my garden isn't overlooked so it's fine as long as I avoid the prickly things.
This thread reminds me of the first few months after my OH's very sudden death, once I went into the downstairs loo, got seated and noticed that the door wasn't properly closed so I got up and closed it. It was only later that I wondered why I'd bothered, there was no-one else on the house!