Husband kicking off over bath

[Seriouslyhowcouldyounot]

So my husband loves a bath. Loves it!!! But we have one toilet in our house. For a while now I’ve said the second you’re ready to get in let me go to the loo so as to give him the longest time in there before I’m busting again.

tonight it’s all kicked off as I said can you not lock the door as I might be busting. Firstly to fully disclose we’ve been drinking so it goes through me like water, secondly I have a suspected water infection so when I need to go I NEED TO GO. He went nuts saying what’s changed in the 15 years and I should be able to wait 25 mins. Yes maybe I should, maybe I can wait an hour or even two but what if I need to go!!! I said I wouldn’t just burst in I would knock but no apparently I lock the door when I shower FOR 10 minutes so he should be able to bathe for 25. I get he likes a bath but ffs should I have to beg for the right to access to the loo. Am I nuts???

In which case is it not common curtesy to say "I'm going for a bath, do you need the loo before I lock myself away for a while?"

Curtesy works both ways OP, if your husbands expects you to show it to him, my advice would be he starts showing it to you!

1. Drinking with a water infection is so dangerous. You could end up in hospital. I hope you have antibiotics, or have gone to a pharmacy and told them so they can help you.

2. Why can you not use the toilet while someone is in the bath, or shower?? Do you turn the lights out when he's balls deep in the place you pee from?? Like, I don't get it....yeah it's not romantic, but it's respecting one another enough to allow the use of the toilet and being mature enough to know you both go poo-poo and pee-pee and do not need to hide it from one another. I mean, you would think he would be grateful for getting a flash of vag while he's in the bath. Tell him next-time you will remove the lock/door/unscrew the handle, get in the bath with him, and pee in there with him.

My God's! You sound like teenagers with the ick.

You’ve been together 15 years and can’t pee while the other is in the shower/bath?
me and my ex pee’d while the other was showering all the time… when you’ve gotta go you gotta go!
He seems very selfish to bath knowing. You have a UTI

I've been with my DH for 29 years, pushed our three kids out in front of him, but I still wouldn't want to use the loo in front of him, nor him in front of me. Quite why anyone would happy to have anyone, spouse, off-spring, whatever, pissing or shitting in front of them while they're trying to have a relaxing bath, is a mystery to me. Like the OP, we are a one toilet in one bathroom household (newsflash to some - not everyone lives in a house with two bathrooms and three toilets). Everyone checks before taking a bath or shower that others don't need the loo beforehand. In the rare event of my being desperate for a wee if DH is still in the bath, I'll go, but only with the shower curtain drawn across.

The same would apply if DH needed to pee while I was in the bath, although that's never happened. I just don't to see someone on the loo, or be seen on it, myself. Anyone desperate for a crap due to upset stomach etc, and I'll grab my robe and vacate the room. Ain't nobody shitting in front of me, and I ain't shitting in front of nobody myself. DH have a perfectly healthy private life, but I still have bodily autonomy. I decide when I do and don't need privacy, same as anyone else in our household.

I don't give a shit (pun intended) what anyone else does. If they want to take a dump while chatting to their spouse in the bath, they can fill their boots. The only really baffling aspect of this thread is the number of people on it who seem to struggle to understand that others lead different lives from them, and have different notions of privacy, and what is acceptable and unacceptable to them.

Quite why anyone would happy to have anyone, spouse, off-spring, whatever, pissing or shitting in front of them while they're trying to have a relaxing bath, is a mystery to me.

Some men are quite excited by the thought of watching me pissing. I decline. Although it's more about bed than bath, I think. (The joys of OLD.) I haven't queried any of them too deeply, as it doesn't work for me. It wouldn't bother me if I'm really in need as a functional thing, but golden showers are out.

Honestly? The one in the bath would probably get out. We like to preserve a little mystery.

But that’s why we made sure we had another bathroom.

The OP reads to me like that is exactly what’s happening. She goes immediately before, her DH only wants 25 mins, but she insists that might be too long and he should leave the door unlocked.

What's mysterious about having a shit?

I do, I relax more thinking no one will walk in, everyone in the house locks the door

I think you are being super unreasonable, of course the OP should be able to pee when she needs to, in her own home.

So what should he do if he’s on the loo himself? Get off for her? In a house with fewer toilets than people everyone sometimes has to wait a little while.

Depends on how long he's going to be on the loo for really? Beside the point anyway - if he's having a bath then the toilet is free!

You don't have much understanding of bladder or bowel issues do you...

There’s nothing in my post that suggests I don’t.
If both have bladder or bowel issues, someone still has to wait.
In this case, the OP has a suspected UTI. She can go just before he goes into the bath. He only wants 25 minutes. That’s not unreasonable. And in fact, the OP’s first paragraph suggests she insists on an u locked door in case she needs to pee all the time, not just when she may, or may not, have a UTI.
What happens if they are driving along a motorway, do you think? Given neither have any diagnosed issues.

It's difficult enough have to cope with urge incontinence when out and about, without being unable to go when you need to in your own home!

I guess there are people who can't drive along a motorway, or use continence products?

@Seriouslyhowcouldyounot I have a really weak bladder and for years this has been an issue in our house with only one bathroom. My DS would go in the bath for literally 2 hours and I can't hold it in when I need to go.
Solution was to have the bathroom redone and split the toilet off into its own room. Expensive way to do it but it's saved me many a time.
Other than that I do not see why you can't go and have a wee while you DH is in the bath??
If you have DC in the house could you not get a Do not disturb sign like they have in hotels to hang on the door so he doesn't need to lock it

One bathroom here. We don't even have a lock on the door, we just do an announcement that we are in there.

My DP asks me to come and sit in the bathroom to talk to him! Which I find annoying as I have things to do! But if I needed a wee or he did neither have a problem. I draw a line at taking a crap as the toilet is right next to the bath! And I'd be furious if he came in to do that whilst I was in the bath.

We don't have locks either. And wees are all fine. But not crapping here either

But the OP isn’t one of those people. Why does MN always go to the most difficult situations and apply them to everyone?

As I previously mentioned, active bowel conditions and UTIs. Well done you for your "control"