Feeling completely overwhelmed, I keep screaming into a pillow

[glassdo]

Please be kind. I don't know what's wrong with me today. I'm so fucking fed up of mum life.

My kids are two and four and it's so relentless.

I think I must just be so unhappy to be so happy overwhelmed.

Especially my two year old just doesn't fucking listen to a word I say. I can't even get him to eat anything. All he does is cry, scream and have tantrums if he doesn't get exactly what he wants.

I'm so angry today. I'm angry. It's another Sunday alone with the kids. It's been another week, dealing with my kids basically alone because my husband works away a fair amount. I'm angry because they don't listen to me ( especially the little one ). I'm angry because I work so fucking hard to keep my house tidy and clean and all they do all day is mess it up.

I am so angry because I feel like everyone thinks I'm a joke and a mess of a human and they can do it better than me. By everyone I mean my in laws, my parents and even my husband. I think he thinks I'm just a bit shit. He has no idea how much it takes for me to keep the house in the condition it's in.

I can't take it. I just want my kids to listen to me. I can't take it anymore

I'm absolutely fuming today.

Shoes on and out to the park, get yourself a coffee to drink while you walk. Tire them out.

We all have days feeling like this ♥️

I’m sorry OP, it can be so overwhelming. You need a break asap - I would speak to your husband and say you need a day off. Do you work or are you a stay at home parent? Even if it is the latter, the responsibility needs to be shared.

I can't take them to the fucking park on my own. Sorry not swearing at you.

My two year old runs away all the time. It's far too dangerous and exhausting to take him anyway.

I have a big garden and he's been playing out there.

Is he working away now? Get out to the park or similar for a walk and then put for tea. Don't forget to take colouring books for the kids

I have a similar age gap and I’ve felt the same sometimes, it can feel like they’re trying to wreck everything although logically you know they aren’t. It is pissing down here too so shoes on and out to the park would not work!

I agree with a pp...get out of the house...go to the park, go for a walk, let them burn off some energy. Staying at home is the worst when you feel like this

I can't take them anywhere alone anymore. The little one runs away and if I put him on reins he just drags and has tantrums. He escapes his buggy and his car seat. It's just not safe.

Last time we went out I ended up really accidentally smashing against my four year old while chasing my two year old. I refuse to take them out since then, by myself. Unless it's to the doctors and even then, they cause a fucking ruckus and I m on edge. I just can't control the two year old. It's dangerous,

I only go to small soft plays I know. But surprise surprise they're all booked today.

But also I'm so tired today. I've been ill all week.

Gave my two year old a breakfast muffin earlier and he refuses to sit down at the table. Will scream and just walk to the living room.

He did walk to the living room with it and just destroyed it in his hands and spread it all over the carpet.

Just one small example of what he does.

Can you put the younger one in a play pen for a bit? (Even if he screams...). (Also get some earplugs..)

For the last two weeks, he just won't have any dinner after nursery. He just won't eat anything I put in front of him.

All he wants is banana or chocolate. If I give him nothing, he just won't eat. He gets a bottle of milk and that's it.

If at random times during the day, he decides he wants something to eat, he literally will not stop screaming. He'll go for 30 minutes. He just won't stop. He wants what he wants.
How am I supposed to have the energy to listen to this every fucking day and NEVER give in ?

I know giving in makes me a bad parent and plays into it, but how the fuck am I supposed to have the energy to listen to this several times a day ? I can't take it anymore

Well don't give him food then, he can go hungry if he can't sit still the table. That's what I tell my 2 year old. He leant pretty quick.

They CAN understand at their age. Who does he think he is, to be making a mess eating the food around the house. Food that you made him, in the house that you pay for. What a joke.

If he runs away when you're out, take him straight home. Tell him if he doesn't listen to you, he's going home.

I know it's relentless but repeat and repeat. And reinforce that you're the authority here, not him.

He'll get out. He's physically very able.

He gets into everything. He gets out of everything.

I'm going to throw/give all their toys away and keep 5 things for each. I'm so done living like this.

Can your in laws and parents help out. I've no idea how any one copes with a 2 and 4 year old. I struggled so much when my little one was 2.

Yanbu your anger is spot on.
Your husband is a joke. He is the problem.

'If I give him nothing, he just won't eat. He gets a bottle of milk and that's it.'

So what? My two year old did that and only got milk for dinner, many many times. Food was offered, whichever option I was giving him. And only at the table. And no chocolate. If he didn't eat what I gave him, fine. He didn't eat then.

Now he eats or he doesn't, he won't die of starvation. But it's my way or the highway.

Kids that age rule the house like a dictator if you let them. Try to be firmer. Try to ignore him. Don’t fight fire with fire. I’d put him in a playpen and try to get on with my day. I really do know how bad it can be but you’ve got to show him who is in charge.

I know. I just don't have the energy some days.

Some days I keep firm, but I have to have so much energy to deal with it.

That's just one example of what he does. It's stuff like that, constantly.

He gets out of his car seat - constantly. No matter what I do to tie him in there. I literally tie him into the seat.

He runs away so much. He had me tripping over him, running everywhere on a recent holiday. He thinks it's funny. It's so terrible.

Oh! That sounds really miserable. Are you able to book a babysitter for this evening, even just for an hour or two? Is there someone local who could visit and help you? Could you invite some of their friends over?

You are definitely NOT shit!

Being a parent is really hard, especially when your OH is away lots, and your two are testing all your limits. I understand how you feel the GPs see you but you can exact your revenge by asking them to help.

God my youngest was like that and I hated taking him anywhere. The stares. The judgement. I spent most of the time wanting to cry.
I know it’s unhelpful but your DH needs to do more. One person coping with all this alone will break eventually. It’s too much.

I'm always fucking stuck with them. I love them so much, I feel bad for saying that. I adore them. But it's just mad.

My four year old started reception and I was trying to do home work with her. We got one book in a pack which is for the parents and she just wanted to write in that book. I said, no this is for me etc and she would not let it go- I ended up shouting at her about it as I'm so frazzled. Then we tried to do writing practice and she wanted to sharpen her already very sharp pencil. I tried to explain it doesn't need to be sharpened. She proceeded to have a tantrum about it so fine, we can sharpen an already sharp fucking pencil. Of course, then the sharp bit falls out and I do have to spend ages sharpening it etc.

I bought a cool alphabet game for her and for us to practice and they just started throwing it everywhere. I buy so many nice things and they just throw them all over the place. When I ask them to stop they just ignore me or laugh.

These things add up for me and now my nervous system is frazzled. I shouted so much today ( mainly into a pillow ) that my head hurts.

I have one a similar age OP and just want to offer a handhold, it is SO hard! Fortunately mine is still small enough to physically manhandle into the buggy then she can run about in the enclosed playground bit of the park.

Are there any relatives or friends who'd come for a walk with you/playground on a weekend just for an extra pair of hands? Some toddlers suddenly pipe down when a new adult is there.

If not, keep chucking him in the garden every opportunity. Go in the loo and breathe for 2 mins if you need to. This too shall pass.

I don’t know if it helps but I was a pushover parent and things worked out fine. I found some iPad games suitable for toddlers and played them endlessly. I had the wiggles playing 24/7. I took the easy way out at every turn and got through in the end. I didn’t have rules, we ate snacks on a towel in front of the tv, my kid had a bottle or dummy whenever they wanted one even after they got too old for one. We didn’t go out and do enrichment activities because I couldn’t be bothered.

I think a happy lazy mum in a messy house is nicer for the kid than an upset organised mum. Maybe get some childminding help or some cleaning help. Right now just focus on getting through these years.

My kids are similar ages OP - it’s bloody hard work and my husband works from home so I can get some breaks. You’re dealing with so much on your own. Are any breaks available to you? When will your husband be home?

He bloody opens the buggy harness and just runs off. After our recent holiday I cannot do anything anymore without feeling extremely on edge when out and about.

A few months ago I was taking flights alone with them, but he's feral now getting out of everything.

He's worked out how to open the door into the garden now and just lets himself out whenever he wants.

Maybe an unpopular opinion but if the homework is causing you so much stress, just don't do it.

Do you have a garden op?