To be a bit hurt he left my son out

[JaneAustenshandbag]

dh and I went for breakfast with FIL and his wife today. DH brought my step dc, 12 and 9 and I brought my son 14. FIL went to the shop and came out with chocolate bars for his two grandchildren and left my son with nothing.

He’s known him since he was 8. DH has messaged him to say that all of the children should be included as we are a blended family and FIL hasn’t replied. I wish I’d said something at the time but I was taken aback and left it to DH.

I think you did the right thing letting DH handle it. YANBU to be upset, that's really mean of him. Did your DS say anything about it?

A house - fair enough

A chocolate bar, fucking petty & nasty.

I'd never leave a kid out. Nasty FIL

Agree, it's petty and nasty getting chocolate for 2 kids and leaving the other one out.

I'd think differently of him after that.

Yes, he should have brought chocolate for all three of them. Tbh it was plain rude. Blended families apart if one of my children was with a friend for some reason I would buy 3 chocolates. I don’t think it was a huge expense.
Do you think FIL is not replying because deep down he knows he was wrong but doesn’t want to acknowledge it?

I would have called him out there and then. Bang out of order in these circumstances. What did the children say?

That's deliberately cruel. You don't need to accept a child as family member to buy them a chocolate bar. If I'm with some kids and I buy a treat like that I buy for the lot and I don't particularly consider myself a generous person, it is just manners. You either get enough to go round or don't bother. We've hund out with lots of random extra kids over the years, no one would ever leave one out.

That's really mean.

My son is very laid back and said ‘it’s ok mum, I don’t want chocolate.’ I was seething so didn’t trust myself to speak to FIL, so we went home.

Totally out of order. It would put me off going out with him again to be honest and I would be saying so. All or nothing.

That is absolutely shit. Did he do it on purpose or forget about your DS??

I wouldn't be spending time with him again. Awful. Your poor son

To be honest I don’t intend to go out with him again. I’ve never liked him but have tried my best, so at least I don’t need to try now.

That was horrible

What a nasty fucker doing that to a kid no wonder you can't be arsed with him,I wouldn't be pandering to him either.

I'm now thinking about all the kids my mum and dad have bought chocolate or ice cream for over the years. Any kid in their orbit would get a chocolate bar or whatever at the same time. You don't leave one out. It doesn't have to mean you consider them family, it is just being welcoming and inclusive.

I always have loads of kids here - my children’s friends and it’s an open house. I’d never see a kid without something that mine had.

Wow. How horrible. Really mean and nasty.

My sister started seeing a guy who had a child from a previous very short relationship. From the first Christmas they were together my parents included him at Christmas and Easter etc and any time they saw him. As did all of us. As did my step in-laws for my DS. Always included.

That is bloody awful.

That is absolutely disgusting. What on earth was he thinking? Your DH did the right thing. It will be interesting to see if FIL deigns to respond.

It didn’t surprise me really but it’s a step up from Easter when he bought mini eggs for my kids and giant eggs for the real grand children. At least he got them all something then.

He's clearly got a problem and marking them out as different.
I'd just go no contact.

That’s hideous. Whats his excuse?

He doesn’t have excuses. He doesn’t care. I don’t expect him to see my children as grandchildren but I do expect when one of my kids is standing in front of him, for him to buy a small equivalent treat.
He is wealthy- there’s no financial issue here.

FIL no longer welcome then. Christmas? Sorry, we’re busy.

What? What’s your problem FIL? You’re not blood related to me, so I don’t give a fuck about you - that’s how you roll isn’t it?

Just a horrible way to behave regardless of who the children involved are. I wouldn’t hand out chocolate to my kids and leave out a friends kids.

I think it’s the deliberate nature of the action that I just wouldn’t be able to move past and I wouldn’t allow him in my son’s presence again.