To be a bit hurt he left my son out

[JaneAustenshandbag]

dh and I went for breakfast with FIL and his wife today. DH brought my step dc, 12 and 9 and I brought my son 14. FIL went to the shop and came out with chocolate bars for his two grandchildren and left my son with nothing.

He’s known him since he was 8. DH has messaged him to say that all of the children should be included as we are a blended family and FIL hasn’t replied. I wish I’d said something at the time but I was taken aback and left it to DH.

you mention FIL and his wife, which leads me to think she is not your husbands mother?

If so how would he feel about her not being invited to things regarding 'his' grandchildren.

He sounds very inconsiderate and i'd be just as upset as you.

Yes my husband’s mother is lovely thank goodness. FIL would expect his wife to be invited to everything, I’m sure and to be fair, she is very nice. She has no children of her own and treats FIL’s grandchildren like family.

I would get DH to tell him that unless he treats the kids equally in situations like that, then he won't be seeing any of them

I can’t tell DH that his father can’t see his biological grandchildren. I can say he won’t be seeing me and my children. And I can make any future decisions based on how well things are handled moving forward.

I appreciate that he's no longer going to be entertained at yours but if for that changes when you give everyone else a drink , food etc leave him out - he's not your Father only your FIL - he sounds a mean nasty old man

Oh. I’ve got a 14 year old grandson and this post has hurt my heart. Please buy your boy a bloody big bar of chocolate, tomorrow.

The miserable old fucker can get stuffed.

Bloody hell I wouldn’t even do this to a strangers kid!! If we were out and my DD was playing with another child, I’d say ‘I’m getting DD an ice cream, would your DD like one!’…. Can’t believe someone could do this to their own step grandchild…. Heartbreaking! I couldn’t go again!

He’s been a really good boy at school too - eats too many snacks - but think he deserves a treat! I will get him something nice tomorrow.

I don't think it would be unreasonable for your husband to remind FIL that if he has an expectation of how his children should treat their stepmum then it's a 2 way thing.

I'm quite defensive normally of grandparents being expected to suddenly treat new children that they have no relation with as if they were always there, but over a chocolate it's just ridiculous. I actually think if I was your DH i'd have walked over to the shop to buy another one and given it to your 14 year old in front of everyone.

I don't know why people do this; horrible. I'd include a stranger in a purchase of that scale, if not including them may hurt their feelings.

Instant karma...? Let us know if anything strikes him down in the coming week 🤔😂

Really horrible thing to do.

I really can’t get into the mindset of someone who could do that. Did he give them out in front of your son?

I hope he gets painful gout in his big toes 🤬

DH was about to buy him a chocolate but my son said he didn’t want anything so I stopped him. I should have let him - but FIL is so self absorbed he probably wouldn’t have noticed.
His wife was never step mum to DH - they’ve only been together a few years.

Yes he did - the step kids were waving their chocolates about and I looked at my son and asked if he had one - he didn’t.

Your poor husband. How embarrassing for him.

OMG @T1Dmama I swear I just scrolled back after posting and saw your comment. It was the exact scenario I imagined when I mentioned including a stranger 😂

I'd have found it really difficult not to have a go at him. You have more self control than I do!

Only because if I let go, I really let go. So I had to stay calm 🤣🤣
It would not have been pretty otherwise and better for the kids that I didn’t unleash the beast.

So mean.

I do think 6 years should mean something as well.

That was nasty, he sounds like a horrible person. Definitely best not to see him again.

Not surprised you never liked him. Trust your instinct and avoid in future. You’re completely right to protect your son from people like that. Horrible, thoughtless, graceless, petty, mean, bevaviour.

It’s also a bit of an honour if a teen gets up early to breakfast with you! So seems like FIL did not deserve that honour.

100%

Your poor DH. He is going to need a whole lot of therapy :( Imagine spending your life trying to please this redneck, selfish bellend. Thank goodness he has a decent mum.