To be a bit hurt he left my son out

[JaneAustenshandbag]

dh and I went for breakfast with FIL and his wife today. DH brought my step dc, 12 and 9 and I brought my son 14. FIL went to the shop and came out with chocolate bars for his two grandchildren and left my son with nothing.

He’s known him since he was 8. DH has messaged him to say that all of the children should be included as we are a blended family and FIL hasn’t replied. I wish I’d said something at the time but I was taken aback and left it to DH.

Yeah that was an arsey move

What a nasty, petty man. I'm glad you aren't going to waste any more time and energy on him.

How did your stepchildren feel? I'd have been so embarrassed as a teen if a grandparent was that rude to my stepsibling.

That's so rude. I'd buy for any other child I had along. You can't leave one out like that. How mean. Did the stepchildren offer your son a little of theirs? If not, that's rude too.

That's awful, cut him out. I have one GS and 4 step grand kids. Costs me a fortune but every one of them is treated equally when it comes to bdays, Easter, Xmas, day out treats etc.

Heck, I would probably offer a random kid on the bus a sweet if I opened a pack in their vicinity and they spotted the packet.

This is what I was brought up like and I do the same. Obviously if there's a financial reason, then you say to your kid that you will get them one later - otherwise it would be rude to leave others out.

If he is so skint he can't afford to buy chocolate for all three, he buys something cheaper or doesn't buy on that occasion. It's never fair to leave one out.

That's awful.

Even if it wasn't a family issue, buying 2 kids chocolate bats when there's 3 there is mean anyways

I'd be really upset.

Well now you know he doesn't consider your children worthy of his attention. I will be very very generous and say he might think that he is setting expectations about inheritance now, but really thats nasty.

Well done for letting your DH handle it. As others said, he has drawn the line, so you don't have to do anything for him at all now.

What a dick

If it was financial reasons he shouldn't have bought any kids a chocolate bar if he can't afford all 3. Or he should have bought cheaper ones, freddos or something to be able to get all 3.

But I suspect he is at best thoughtless and at worse a dickhead.

You could have brought along a random friend from school. If grandpa goes to the shop to buy chocolate, he should buy it for all the children in the group.

the grandparents have been caught out before, having brought along a small gift for dd and not expecting another more distant relative to be present. They typically pull me aside and hand it over surreptitiously. The other option is to save to for another day.

It's mean.

My late husband had two nephews. For various reasons we only found out about them relatively late on in our life. (Long story - DH was adopted by relatives.) One lad was married with kids. The other (we thought) had a girlfriend who had previously been married.

I was embarrassed to find out that they'd actually moved in together and that the girlfriend had two children from her marriage - I'd not included them in Christmas presents, etc. We live at opposite ends of the country and knew about the girlfriend but not the children. As soon as I found out, I made sure that the SC also got Christmas gifts.

It's appalling. A bleedin chocolate bar.

Small things like this say alot about a person.

YANBU

FIL is a member of what Marina Hyde recently described as the arseoisie.

That's utterly awful

If I just meet a new kid and we have choc/treats etc they ALL get one, everyone is included

You've known your Fil for 8 fucking years??

the step kids were waving their chocolates about and I looked at my son and asked if he had one - he didn’t.
^

So your ds can do the same tomorrow when he gets home with his super big treat, right?

Except I don't think your son will

Without context I would have thought it was an age thing... I often get a chocolate or lollipop for my younger son and nephews but not for my older child who's a similar age to yours. However, given the wider context and previous history, I see your point. YANBU.

Your son’s a star! How proud you must be of him.

I went thru this similar. Except it was the ex wife who sent for all the sisters but my daughter who is her daughters half sister. The difference is your dh stood up for your son and that is wonderful.

Some cause happiness wherever they go —
Others, whenever they go.”
—Oscar Wilde

There’s two years difference between step son and ds. I think that’s a stretch tbh.

He’s wealthy.

No they didn’t but they didn’t eat them straight away. I’ll make sure ds gets something today.

@WearyAuldWumman

I'm sorry about your husband💐

that was very lovely to send gifts, especially when they weren't even there at the time.

can you imagine how petty & small minded you'd have to be to not even buy a kid a chocolate bar when you're buying them for the other two whether you know the kid or not?!?! Let alone when you've known them 4 YEARS?!?!

That just feels spiteful