I've recently gotten back together with the dad of my kids. I have no idea if I declare us living together for benefits

[anle]

We've been split for 4 years not long after our youngest was born. We haven't been together since

He had a girlfriend for a year in this time so he'd have evidence of living there (I'm so scared they try to say no you've been together this entire time)

He had to move back in with his mum after he split with his ex. So all his bills etc go there

He is here often to see the kids and stays a couple of nights at his mum. We don't share finances. He paid through child maintenance until last month. We had child maintenance for years probably the entire 4 years.

I have no idea about declaring him living here or if I should? I've never had a partner to even think about this in the past 4 years

I know all his bills etc are registered at his mums house. His car is etc.
I have very nosey neighbours who are out to cause trouble a lot so they will report him staying the night here

What do I do?

Let the DWP know and they will advise you.

For more information it's only been 3 months we've been back together in total. Like going from being here a couple of nights to more etc.

Er yes. You inform DWP immediately!!

You would lose single person council tax reduction. If you are claiming UC on your own you could ring them and say you are thinking about moving in together and ask how it will change your claim. I have a joint claim with my partner who is living with me and they take our total household income to work out the payment. I suppose depending on your circumstances you may be worse off or you could be better off.

Has he stopped paying maintenance now? Why are you back with him?

@GirlMumGabby will they accuse us of living together this entire time or something else? I'm terrified because our youngest is only 4 that they say no you've been together the entire time. There's heaps of proof. He owned a house at this point in time too. Then had a different relationship
I'm just so scared with how unfair benefits are known to be they try to claim this?

@pinkyredrose that message wasn't clear enough. He stopped paying through maintenance to just pay directly to me.

Is he actually living with you or just staying a few nights?

You don’t have to declare anything if he stays 3 nights or less I believe.

How would they be 'unfair' ?

The 3 nights thing is a myth!!

@DontBiteTheCat I've been told the 3 night rule isn't real? But no he stays 4 nights

Without having the necessary info, you are allowed to have someone stay a certain amount of times a week under a single claim.

@AGirlInACountrySong just from things you hear with disability claims when people should have it they don't allow it

I know we've not done anything but I fear they just clamp down and try to get money back etc.

Unless he's actually moved in and you're in an established relationship rather than a few weeks of seeing how it goes, I wouldn't be telling the DWP anything.

It definitely wasn’t when I worked in benefits previously, but I’m going back about 5 years!

@Arctangent that was my thinking too but I'm TERRIFIED of benefit fraud. It's my absolute biggest fear

we've gotten back together for 3 months. I wouldn't even say it's an established relationship yet but obviously under their rules it is?

I hate everything about benefits and declaring things. I cannot wait to be full time and away from all of this.

If your finances are joint and he is no longer paying maintenance, I would have thought you classed as living together.

If you are terrified, you need to notify the DWP of changes and the longer you leave it the worst it will become.

Call them, explain there is a change in circumstances and you would like clarity. If he is living with you again, that will likely affect your benefits.

The 3 nights thing is a myth. If you're living together you must declare it - his bills going to his mothers is irrelevant.
If you're living as a couple and he's contributing to the household then you're a couple in the eyes of UC.

There isn't a set number of nights a partner can stay, it's about contributing to the household (not necessarily financially!) otherwise everyone would be moving their partner in and putting their bills elsewhere

@DontBiteTheCat so from the information I've told you am I doing anything wrong. I've never had a partner so I have no clue what I should or should declare

We've been back together for 3 months. End of June like the last week of June.
He stays here 4 nights and is over nearly every day on the way home from work to see the kids.

He doesn't contribute financially other than for the kids. Like he doesn't do a food shop or bills. He just says what do they need and I'll say like new shoes and he either gets them or sends me money for them. He doesn't send me more than a few hundred a month. Which in no way could cover split living expenses.

Well I’m shocked about the 3 nights thing!

I was told that by council staff when we used to submit housing benefits forms for the people we worked with!

Ugh this is blatant benefit fraud

Op.... you can be bothered to read your benefit form , fill it out and claim the money yet you miss the bit where on every communication it says to inform them immediately of any changes????

Stop having him stay over apart from the occasional night until you know where you are. Don’t have him more until it is clear that you are both committed and he is definitely going to share all living expenses.

Don't let him stay over like this risking your children’s financial security and confusing them until the above is established.

Be careful and take your time. To do so means stopping him staying over all the time.

So he’s working and living at yours 4/7 and doesn’t pay anything towards rent/mortgage, food, gas, electric, water or council tax? Parking the benefit question why are you allowing him to use you like this?

Then yes you should have declared it 3 months ago.