I've recently gotten back together with the dad of my kids. I have no idea if I declare us living together for benefits

[anle]

We've been split for 4 years not long after our youngest was born. We haven't been together since

He had a girlfriend for a year in this time so he'd have evidence of living there (I'm so scared they try to say no you've been together this entire time)

He had to move back in with his mum after he split with his ex. So all his bills etc go there

He is here often to see the kids and stays a couple of nights at his mum. We don't share finances. He paid through child maintenance until last month. We had child maintenance for years probably the entire 4 years.

I have no idea about declaring him living here or if I should? I've never had a partner to even think about this in the past 4 years

I know all his bills etc are registered at his mums house. His car is etc.
I have very nosey neighbours who are out to cause trouble a lot so they will report him staying the night here

What do I do?

Just ring them and explain your circumstances. They won’t assume you’ve lived together the whole time and you have evidence even if they do.
They will be able to advise and amend your claim accordingly.

Is he paying rent, utilities, council tax at wherever he spends the other 3 nights? If so, is his name on the bills?

Maybe someone has already reported you.... be careful, they 'watch' to gather evidence where fraud is involved

Just phone DWP and ask surely?

Of course you are committing benefit fraud. You are in an established relationship as you share children and LIVE TOGETHER! And you have been committing fraud for 12 weeks ffs. You need to make him pay his way or get rid of him. Please please report your charge ASAP, your neighbours may have already done it for you and the DWP often take 10-16 weeks to investigate things before hauling you in for a compliance interview under police caution.

Oh bless you.

Are you sharing finances? As in, is he paying towards your rent and bills?

Personally I wouldn't class a boyfriend staying over as living with me, but whenever I've done it he didn't contribute anything to me financially. That's what I considered more important than how often he was here. Also, it was my house and he didn't have a key and he wasn't welcome to come over whenever he felt like it.

There's a family near me who have 2 houses. The father says he lives in one and the mother says she lives in the other but they are very much a family living in one house and sublet the other house to family from time to time.
The father is also on pip and working for cash. I know this as when they row it all comes out and some of the family write this on fb. They have had 3 more children since saying they live separately too. Multiple cars and the children have the best of everything.
They even got a downstairs bedroom extension for their disabled child but proudly showed it to many on the street, and the mother and father sleep in it. The child is actually disabled. Disgusting but the children don't go to school after year 7, so the benefits will run out sooner.

Absolutely nothing dwp can do as 2 addresses.

I don't think you will have a problem at all. They never asked me anything when I moved my partner in. I just did the change of circumstances on my UC account and emailed my council to add him to the council tax. I would sort it out sooner than later if you are worried about neighbours. But I wouldn't be panicking. People move in and out with their partners all the time.

Do you think we are thick?

You can prove he lived elsewhere so don't pretend you're worrying about that when really you want to have him in your bed every night and still have tax payers fund you for it.

The DWP knows that people get back together after a break of years and they also know when people are trying to defraud them.

I would be very careful with him sending extra money over, make sure the reference on it is - KIDSSHOES or BALLETCLASS or whatever.

They look and see if you have joint finances, so if he's still paying maintenence and not contributing to your household, and is paying bills elsewhere then it should be fine.

I would be very, very careful about the overnights anyway though, it's been 3 months, 4 nights is a lot, and what happens if it doesn't work out? Your child is going to be so upset/confused.

I'd be looking over my shoulder if I were you op!

They have kids together....they are a family

If it’s early days for the relationship why did you move him into your house ?

Clearly he lives there so the DWP should have been told months ago.

Whether you are 'living together as a married couple' is a matter DWP decide in each case on it's facts. If he's there four nights a week, you're eating and doing domestic stuff together and have the appearance of being a couple then we're in quacks like and walks like territory!!

DWP's Advice for Decision Makers on the subject is here:

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/5a7575a740f0b6397f35e96f/adme4.pdf

You need to tell the DWP and you also need him to start paying his way

Pretty much that I think.

I don't think they'll want to go back over the years when you were apart but if you're 'back together' then I wouldn't wait any longer.

Is he on UC? Working?

Go on a proper UC Facebook group who knows more than Mumsnet.

Tell your boyfriend you need to contact the DWP about your benefits as he's around so much, so he'll have to start contributing properly to the household finances. Dependent on his reaction, will show you if he's a cock lodger or not.

There are quite a few people posting on MN who are professional Welfare Rights Advisers but the signal/noise ratio on these matters is, at its best, suboptimal.

Whether FB is any better I don't know.

The only thing you need to consider, as opposed to random opinions on the internet is DMG Chapter 11 (Decision Making Guide)

This outlines the criteria that is considered for making a decision on LT, its not just one factor such as amount of nights they stay (so the 3 nights thing is a myth).

This is my area of expertise as I work in benefit fraud.

It does seem that you are considering the fact that you can "prove" he has bills etc elsewhere means he can stay at yours and you dont have to declare it, if you are that terrified of being caught you would have called DWP before this was even considered to find out what the situation is, and the fact you still havent means it appears you are trying to find ways around it.

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/5a820c1ae5274a2e8ab5738a/dmgch11.pdf

Posted exactly the same, but you were more concise! If it were me investigating, then it would be hard pushed from the facts posted here to determine they were not LT

You've never had a partner? So did you never live together with any of the children?

If he only stays 2 nights at his mum's he's living with you, unless I've missed something.

You are clearly living together as a couple. The fact your partner isn’t paying his way is neither here nor there. Report the change of circumstances to the DWP.

The DWP look at things like bills, does he financially contribute to your household (and I would say sending you a few hundred a month instead of CM looks suspicious), do you eat and socialise together?

I will say if he is going to give you money it needs to be clearly marked as child maintenance on the transfer.

If you are living together then your single allowance would change to a joint allowance and you would have deductions for his wages.

It seems fr too early in the relationship to live together so maybe take things more slowly.