I've recently gotten back together with the dad of my kids. I have no idea if I declare us living together for benefits

[anle]

We've been split for 4 years not long after our youngest was born. We haven't been together since

He had a girlfriend for a year in this time so he'd have evidence of living there (I'm so scared they try to say no you've been together this entire time)

He had to move back in with his mum after he split with his ex. So all his bills etc go there

He is here often to see the kids and stays a couple of nights at his mum. We don't share finances. He paid through child maintenance until last month. We had child maintenance for years probably the entire 4 years.

I have no idea about declaring him living here or if I should? I've never had a partner to even think about this in the past 4 years

I know all his bills etc are registered at his mums house. His car is etc.
I have very nosey neighbours who are out to cause trouble a lot so they will report him staying the night here

What do I do?

They have kids together....it wasn't from 'day 1'

If you're worried about benefit fraud just be honest with DWP. He's staying 4 nights a week and over every day so I'd say it's serious and no you can't just have more time to decide.
You've got proof you haven't been together so I really wouldn't worry about that but you do need to be honest

They'll want to know with proof - Where does he receive his posts (bills, bank account statements, important stuff)? Where does he pay rent? Regular grocery/household shopping, etc.

They may ask for 4 years worth of proof (your and probably his bank statements and utility bills) and if everything tallies with what you've told them during your claim, then you'll be fine. If not, you won't, unfortunately.

It doesn't matter where he sleeps ultimately if he can prove that he's not financially tied to your single claim household.

This is how some people commit fraud though when they can manufacture these things (like a pp said about a couple who have 2 houses so can claim they don't live together) but it's also a way to genuinely show that you're being honest.

Wrong, wrong, wrong.

Jeez the misinformation some people put around - '3 nights a week is ok' - is scary.

If you're genuinely scared of committing benefit fraud then the simple answer is to be honest. Tell the DWP of any changes in circumstances. If you're honest about things, so any evidence that's uncovered if there were to be any investigation backs up that you're being truthful, then you don't need to worry.

Of course, for people who aren't honest, it's absolutely right that the DWP come down hard. Any money fraudulently claimed is money that can't go to genuine cases. It's also a joke if a couple try to pretend to not be a couple in order to claim benefits that a couple who are up front and honest about being a couple, can't.

His not living with you or contributing to your rent/bills so why would you tell DWP he was?

Why should DWP and the taxpayer fund the OPs household when she has a partner living there who should be?

You need to report change of circumstances to DWP
I'm not sure if the 3 nights per week still applies but if he keeps stuff in wardrobe/ toothbrush in bathroom then I think you will be judged as in a relationship
Different situation but I had to prove I was separated from my exh when he wouldn't leave joint owned house

If the OP and her fella have the look/feel of a couple then they're probably a couple for UC purposes. Finances are part of the 'fact find' but so are other things like looking as though you are a household. There are plenty of couples where one is living off the other....

If he's living with you 5 nights a week and you claim UC you need to let them know including the date you got back together and he stayed over. If you're not on benefits no one cares as it's your own business. It only becomes anyone else's business if you claim benefits.

DWP will consider how many nights is spent at your home.

Sorry if already been said, but surely he has been paying council tax at his own house for the last 4 years? So there's a clear record of where he has been living. If he's staying at his mums now he should now be on her council tax.

To avoid being done for fraud, you need to let them know of any change of circumstances.

There's a lot of misinformation on here.
It's very difficult to prove he's living there trust me.
I do this every day
OP you have nothing to worry about

Christ these men get it all don't they.

All the benefits of a relationship but no financial responsibility for the kids and token time away from them.

I really do think it's unfair that families these circumstances (and sorry you are the second I've read today) get a huge amount more in handouts than they'd be entitled to as an 'ordinary' family.

@GirlMumGabby yeah he will have I never thought of that. I don't own a house to know these things. But then on my council tax it is just me too

I don't think his mum will have added her to hers. His mums outright bought a house she just recently divorced she isn't fussed for money

Two options :

1. don’t tell DWP and hope neighbours don’t get their first or

2. tell them he is now effectively living with you , the 3 / 4 nights a week “thing” is a myth. Having all his bills sent to his mum’s won’t help if he is staying with you for part of the week.

You tell them he is now living there with effect from now but be prepared for you to lose your 25% council tax reduction for a start and then they will look at other benefits going forward and unlikely then would want repayment for the first 3 months.

Up to you but if there is a risk you will be reported by neighbours that will be investigated as benefit fraud and the outcome unlikely to be good ( think fines / possible suspended sentence / prison and a criminal record if they pursue all the way ) If you tell them now it will be reviewed as a change of circumstance which happens all the time

Yet you'll have children with them.
I don't understand that way of thinking.

Quite. I can't understand how marriage (a wedding really) is more of a commitment or big decision than having children and living together as a family anyway.

It’s not for me to tell anyone what to do, but How on earth do your neighbors know what you claim. I don’t anything about my neighbors’ finances. I wouldn’t have a clue if anyone was up to anything. I couldn’t care less either to be perfectly honest.

If you've only been back together 3 months why is he staying over often enough for this to be an issue? Send him back home for at least 5 nights out of 7 for a good long while yet.

Well not if you start a relationship and don't live together. That's nobody's business! I'm not sure why OP is letting it drift into de facto living together after 3 months.

This is absolutely untrue.

OP honesty is best with DWP. I'm sure that they will be fine. But they won't be fine if you continue to claim fraudulent benefits. Rightly so.

I was going to say this too. I couldn't tell you what my neighbours do, earn, if they're on benefits or not. I have no idea and don't care to know.

I do have at least one (I'm sure there's more) nosy neighbour who seems to know everyone's business. I had to start avoiding conversations with her so I'd stop hearing about everyone's life and also she'd no longer know anything about mine, which I'm sure she'd have been gossiping about as well. Perhaps that's how some neighbours know things - being nosy, asking questions in the guise of 'neighbourly conversations', and people willing to share information about themselves.

Wrong quote above. Was responding to this post.