I've recently gotten back together with the dad of my kids. I have no idea if I declare us living together for benefits

[anle]

We've been split for 4 years not long after our youngest was born. We haven't been together since

He had a girlfriend for a year in this time so he'd have evidence of living there (I'm so scared they try to say no you've been together this entire time)

He had to move back in with his mum after he split with his ex. So all his bills etc go there

He is here often to see the kids and stays a couple of nights at his mum. We don't share finances. He paid through child maintenance until last month. We had child maintenance for years probably the entire 4 years.

I have no idea about declaring him living here or if I should? I've never had a partner to even think about this in the past 4 years

I know all his bills etc are registered at his mums house. His car is etc.
I have very nosey neighbours who are out to cause trouble a lot so they will report him staying the night here

What do I do?

If you've only been back together 3 months, and you split up before, I would be very hesitate to rush into this. If shit hits the fan you will have a whole process to re do trying to claim benefits again.

You will also have a very confused child - spending all those years apart to suddenly move back in within a 3 month period can be very confusing for a child, especially one who never had mum & dad together. Then if you split it will be alot of heart break and a shit load of more forms etc.

More to the point- why is he only living part time at yours? Is it to justify him not paying anything other than to your child? Why are you letting him pick you up and use you like this? He needs to get kicked to the kerb.

That response is way OTT. Do you not understand that the OP is already anxious over this?

They have, no doubt, drifted from his seeing his kids through his seeing them and stopping over to his being there four/seven.

OP needs to do a change of circs, get him to sort out a UC account, do the linking code stuff and make it a joint claim. DWP have bigger fish to fry than folks who, with hindsight, have been a wee bit tardy in recognising they're a couple and doing the required stuff with officialdom.

He needs to understand that he's not a teenager staying over for 'fun and games' but that he and the OP are a couple and he needs to pull his weight financially.

That’ll go great when the neighbour reports her, which she said she definitely will. When they investigate and find it’s the father of her children and he’s been staying there 4 nights a week, they’re obviously going to assume that they’ve been together the entire 4 years she’s been claiming

Staying a few nights does NOT mean you are living together for the purposes of benefit claims as long as he still has a permanent residence elsewhere that he pays bills, rent or mortgage etc and if needed, can provide proof of that. If he's paying you money for the DC outside CMS I'd say you're on very shaky ground as it could just as easily be rent or his share of bills.

If he's moved in (which it does sound like he has) then notify the DWP and make him cough up his share of the bills so when your claim is adjusted you won't be massively out of pocket.

Staying a few nights does NOT mean you are living together for the purposes of benefit claims as long as he still has a permanent residence elsewhere that he pays bills, rent or mortgage etc and if needed, can provide proof of that. If he's paying you money for the DC outside CMS I'd say you're on very shaky ground as it could just as easily be rent or his share of bills.

If he's moved in (which it does sound like he has) then notify the DWP and make him cough up his share of the bills so when your claim is adjusted you won't be massively out of pocket.

I got onto that as well. I’d understand if it was one child and assume she meant he was a one night stand. But they’ve got multiple children together, so he was clearly a partner. Why start a mn thread and lie on it? If she’s immediately slipping up on here, god help her with the dwp!

DWP doesnt work on opinions, they work on facts and the laws and guides developed around these laws. They dont care what A. Taxpayer from Hartlepool thinks, and on posting here what you are getting is mainly opinions.

However, from the info you have posted, it does seem like you have yourself a cocklodger, why isnt he contributing more? It does appear that it is set up this way so there is still evidence that he is living elsewhere to continue this arrangement.

If OP is that anxious about it all, they would have contacted DWP to find out where they stood BEFORE entering into this arrangement, it seems now that this has happened and its a case of shutting the stable door. Or even contact them now to report the change instead of posting on here.

Do you currently have another thread on here, where you're planning to marry him soon?

@Bringitonnowibeg you may well be right that the arrangement you mention is massively wrong but PIP is absolutely compatible with working.

Plenty of people with (say) spine injuries need help washing and dressing, dealing with stoma bags etc sufficient to score enough points to get PIP for Daily Living. And if they cannot walk they'll get ER for mobility too.

@ShiningforLeeBertie it's not I'm trying to find way around it

The past 4 years he has owned a house and had another partner I'm scared they try to say no you've been together this whole time and therefore need proof like bills etc he's not been here. Because 4 years is surely a lot of payments etc I'd need to make.

And like others are saying 3 months is nothing I'm wondering if I can have more time as we are to be sure. But it's like you can't have a boyfriend and claim so I think I'll just need to declare it

Do you think they will try to say no he was here the past 4 years? This is all the proof I have he owned a house. sold it this year. He had a long term girlfriend last year although he told me he never said he lived with her but why would he he lived in his own house. I'm scared they pin it on me and I end up with fraud charges and possibly prison when he's not been here but just because we had a baby 4 years ago

@SaffronsMadAboutMe goodness no! I would not marry someone without years and years of being together

While most of your post is correct, I would like to point out that a Compliance interview is not under caution, just in case anyone else is reading this and they have a Compliance interview coming up.

He stays in the home more than half the week so it would be reasonable for it to be considered his primary address. Best to report you are now living together, they won’t be bothered about examining the situation too much. If however you are reported that would prompt them to investigate throughly.

if you don’t see the relationship succeeding in the long term then best to reduce the nights he stays over so that there is no doubt that it isn’t his primary address.

@Doltontweedle I maybe worded it wrong in the past 4 years I haven't had a partner to know how to declare someone living with me or when to. This is what I'm asking in this thread.

Him and I were together years ago and I had no benefit claims.

There are also quite a few people posting on MN pretending to be professional welfare rights advisors while being utterly foul about the supposed people they 'help'.

Strangely all their clients seem to be established benefit cheats with 'feral' children.

It’s not black and white though, they can take fraud allegations case by case. If this was a new bf then 100% he could get away with staying over. But this is the father of her children, he doesn’t even have to live with her for her claim to be affected. My oh works and lives over 4 hours away, he earns around 120k a year, we have children together and we see each other every other weekend. Does that mean I can put a single person’s claim in? The ops partner isn’t just any man, he’s the father of her children, living with her over half of the week and financially supporting her

@Booboo1982 yeah this is my fear that someone already reported it. I then declare it then they look and say no you've been together 4 years as I've claimed.

Show me anywhere that says DWP says you cannot have a boyfriend? That is not the case at all, its just that when you sign your declaration you declare to report all changes of circs as soon as they happen.

They may ask for proof, but then you have it dont you? You can prove that he lived somewhere else before he moved in with you.

You are massively catastrophising this, just report your change of circs going back to the day he moved in, and if any over payment then call them to work out a payment plan. For 3 months worth of O/P you wont get charges and you certainly wont end up in prison

@anle don't worry about them thinking he's been there the whole four years.

Couples split and re-form (ie get back together) all the time. I don't think it would cross their minds if, during the time since your youngest was born he's been in other relationships and/or living with his Mam.

BUT, you now sound as though you're a couple and need to ensure UC (and Council Tax) are aware of that.

Stop defrauding the taxpayer.

@ShiningforLeeBertie I've just heard of awful things from benefit fraud maybe all false but just saying people are committing things when not

Will they investigate if I report now? Saying he's moved in? Or will they take it as it is and say he moved in September this year and that's it?

Yes you need to declare it!
And he needs to stop freeloading off you.

With respect Op all this is irrelevant and really does come across as you performing mental gymnastics to justify benefit fraud.

If you are living together then you are a couple in the eyes of the law and should declare this accordingly. There is no 'just three months' involved, he has moved back in. If it all falls apart you adjust your claim again.

The DWP don't care about how many houses there are or where his toothbrush is.

It really depends whether you are happy living with the stress of potentially being reported.

Not popular, but I'd hold off. Technically it could be fraud, feeding your children is more important. How are you combining finances? That's what dictates a combined household.