To ask if another man has ever stepped in when you were being harassed?

[CoffySalon]

So, I was on the tube today and had a horrible experience with a guy harassing me. He was invading my personal space, touching me, putting his face and body close too close to mine, and saying things. It was really uncomfortable and no one else was doing anything.

Then, out of nowhere, a guy nearby - who I assume was with his girlfriend - quietly stepped in between us without saying a word. It was so subtle, but the harasser seemed to get the message and stopped, at least for a moment. His girlfriend even smiled at me, like she knew what was happening and wanted to reassure me.

At the next stop, which happened to be this couple’s stop, the guy didn’t rush off. He turned to me and asked quietly “are you okay?” I told him “Yes, thank you” and just before he left, both he and his girlfriend suggested I move to where they had been standing, even pointing out a seat. Unfortunately, someone sat in the seat before I could take it.

As soon as they left though, the guy started harassing me, and no one else did anything except for a few women who smiled in sympathy, but didn’t step in.

This man’s quiet intervention meant so much to me, and I just wanted to share my appreciation for him, but also to ask: has anyone else ever experienced a man stepping in to help like this? And what did you do when it happened?

Would love to hear your stories and thoughts.

Hi everyone,

I wanted to update you on what’s happened since I wrote this post. Following the advice I received, I decided to call the BTP and report the incident. It was a tough decision and an emotional process, but I felt it was important to take action.

The support and suggestions here, and elsewhere, have been very helpful. Even though the discussion here focused more on personal experiences and interventions rather than reporting, I found comfort in reading everyone’s stories. Both the positive and difficult experiences shared have helped me process my own situation and encouraged me to take the next steps.

An officer will be contacting me soon to follow up on the report. I hope this update encourages anyone in a similar situation to reach out for help or report incidents when they feel safe to do so.

Thank you all for your support and sharing your experiences. It’s truly been a big help in processing this difficult situation.

Good for you and I wish you all luck with this, I really hope you get a result!

Thank you so much for the kind words and support. I just spoke with a detective, and unfortunately, there isn’t CCTV on the Bakerloo line and some other lines because they are quite old. They’re focusing on platform footage, trying to track tap-ins at stations, and circulating the images from the platform footage to see if they can match him to any previous offences. The detective said they’ll do everything they can to gather information and identify him. He’s going to contact me again on Monday to give an official statement. It’s frustrating about the lack of CCTV, quite gutting actually, but I appreciate your encouragement.

Thank you so much for the kind words and support. I just spoke with a detective, and unfortunately, there isn’t CCTV on the Bakerloo line and some other lines because they are quite old. They’re focusing on platform footage, trying to track tap-ins at stations, and circulating the images from the platform footage to see if they can match him to any previous offences. The detective said they’ll do everything they can to gather information and identify him. He’s going to contact me again on Monday to give an official statement. It’s frustrating about the lack of CCTV, quite gutting actually, but I appreciate your encouragement.

That's quite astonishing! I thought that the tube was saturated with CCTV. I hope you get a result and it's good to hear that the Police are actually going to take time to look at footage.

A.million years ago, I was in a no smoking carriage on a train. A couple of guys got on, after a while, they both lot cigarettes, I thought perhaps they didn't realise it was non smoking, so leant across a quietly said, not sure you realise, but this is a non smoking carriage.
I was then on the end of of a barrage of verbal assault, I tried to remain calm and pointed out, that I was just trying to help them as if there was a member of transport police on board they could get fined, it achieved nothing, and the barrage continued. The train was full, no one said a thing. Then a chap appeared, having walked up from another area of the train. He whispered something in their ear, immediately they threw their cigarettes out of the window, and apologised to HIM!
I was so angry that they just treated me as an irritant.

Rugby guys are, generally, a pretty decent bunch. Would def rather travel with them than football fans!

Well done. keep us posted. And take care.

How did you feel after stepping in?
I witnessed a grown ass man attacking a young lad who looked about 16. He was punching him in the face and everyone was looking the other way. I was furious and got in the middle. Big man started telling me the young lad had “been funny” with his son! I told him I didn’t give a flying fuck and he’d better just fuck off now! He kept walking away and then coming back for another go. I was fine at the time but thought afterwards I could’ve had my head smashed in. I’d do it again though.

True, it's almost as if men look at women as property...

"True, it's almost as if men look at women as property..."
Using this argument if a woman hits on a guy in but find out he's not single and backs off this is because another woman already "owns" him?