To ask if another man has ever stepped in when you were being harassed?

[CoffySalon]

So, I was on the tube today and had a horrible experience with a guy harassing me. He was invading my personal space, touching me, putting his face and body close too close to mine, and saying things. It was really uncomfortable and no one else was doing anything.

Then, out of nowhere, a guy nearby - who I assume was with his girlfriend - quietly stepped in between us without saying a word. It was so subtle, but the harasser seemed to get the message and stopped, at least for a moment. His girlfriend even smiled at me, like she knew what was happening and wanted to reassure me.

At the next stop, which happened to be this couple’s stop, the guy didn’t rush off. He turned to me and asked quietly “are you okay?” I told him “Yes, thank you” and just before he left, both he and his girlfriend suggested I move to where they had been standing, even pointing out a seat. Unfortunately, someone sat in the seat before I could take it.

As soon as they left though, the guy started harassing me, and no one else did anything except for a few women who smiled in sympathy, but didn’t step in.

This man’s quiet intervention meant so much to me, and I just wanted to share my appreciation for him, but also to ask: has anyone else ever experienced a man stepping in to help like this? And what did you do when it happened?

Would love to hear your stories and thoughts.

Ugh, so he was assaulting you? Isn’t there a text service for the transport police? Does anyone know so op could use if it ever happens again. So sorry for your experience op. Take some time for self care tonight

Male friends have, many times while we are out together, especially in bars, usually by pretending we are a couple which seems to be the most effective way of making them back off.
A stranger did at a swimming pool when a man stood too close and wouldn't stop making creepy comments and the stranger just came and sat on the end of my sun lounger with his big paper resort map and started pointing out different attractions in the nearby zoo as if we had plans to go together. The creepy guy just walked off.

I once lost my purse so had no other choice but to walk home, it had just started dropping dark and I felt like I was being followed, my heart was beating ten to dozen.

Bus driver pulled over (had passengers on) and asked if I was okay, I did mention my predicament and even though I had no money he had me get on the bus and as he was going my way let me ride on the bus for free. Even dropped me outside my house.

Didn't learn my lesson either, a few years later, ran out of money on a night out and a wonderful taxi driver let us take the ride even though we couldn't pay, me and my friend were totally upfront and promised to pay at the taxi rank the following day. We did and even turned up with some beer for him, he said he didn't expect to see us again! 😆

When I was very young (11 the first time!) I was TWICE saved from gang rapes by friends of the ringleaders, so very much yes. Later in life, a guy came to offer support after my boyfriend had beaten me up - not an intervention, but still a compassionate act. I have asked random blokes in clubs to help me out when I was being persistently molested; only one refused.

I think I've intervened for other women more often than men have done it for me. More of them need to step up, because misogynist males pay more heed to men than to women.

A group of posh middle aged men got onto my train, tipsy and drinking cans. Loud conversations about their children's private school. They suddenly started picking on this woman opposite who had tattoos. They would not leave her alone. "Yeah but seriously love they look bloody awful why would you do that" type stuff. She tried to tell them to stop it but they ignored her. Eventually a man who was about 6 ft 7 stood up and told them to shut up and they quietly stared into their cans with their tails between their legs.

I had already texted the transport police though so I do hope they got stopped when they got off!

ODFOD

The male friend I was with was not in a good place, mentally, and went off on one at me in the street. A male passer by stopped a little distance behind him, looked at me and pointed to his phone (basically asking me if I wanted him to phone the police). I managed to give him the signal that I didn't want him to.

It was great, because had he approached my friend it would have wound him up even more. I wasn't in any danger, and I knew how to calm him. But I was very pleased that someone recognised that I might need help, and responded subtly.

TFL and London transport police are really hot on this kind of thing, so I've heard. if you tell them what train, carriage etc you were on, they may be able to track him down

Shame he uses his to be a rapey cunt.

I'm.not sure if this fits in with the thread.
But, yes
My Dad.

Coincidentally, a few times, my dad was nearby when i was being harrased.

One time I was in the supermarket with my dad. We split up to grab different items, he was in one aisle and i was in another.
A man starred to harras me. Leering, making sexual comments, and kept following me.

My dad appeared. My dad is not a big man or a fighting man, but my god he has a voice that would stop a truck in its tracks.
He shouted "What are you doing to my daughter?"

I think the guy peed his pants. But he ran, I mean literally dropped his basket and legged it out of the shop.

what?

I didn’t know at the time but a guy once head butted another guy for harassing me. I was out with friends at a 70s themed club, I was wearing massive 70s platforms on top of being a little tipsy. The club was in an old warehouse with random slopes and steps all over the place. Between the platforms and flooring I appeared more drunk than I was and banged into the guy who started abusing me calling me all sorts and pushing me. My friend and I managed to back away and head into the ladies. When we came out the guy had gone.

it was about a week later my friends were talking about meeting up with the group of guys we’d originally gone to the club with, these were friends of friends. Anyway I rolled my eyes when they mentioned one guy, for some reason I’d taken a dislike to him and to my shame was rude to him for absolutely no reason. Anyway it turned out he’d witnessed the whole scene at the club, apparently the abusive guy was making a bee line to follow me and my friend to the ladies. The acquaintance I’d been rude to stepped in, things got heated and it ended him with the headbutt.

I couldn’t apologise enough the next time I saw him.

No never. Been harassed several times and no one has ever said a single word.

You do see how the only reason men should step in is because men are acting like pigs, right? Even if it's like for like (and it's not), it's 50% horribly arseholes 50% decent men.

I've seen a guy (manual worker in high Vis) step in to help a woman bring cornered and leaned over and smooched at by a stoned and/or drunk guy on a train.

Incidentally, I've also seen a woman step in to pull out a drunk guy being pushed around and about to be battered by a group of guys at a festival.
She sort of swooped and walked away with them and told them off for being bastards & bullies.

Years ago, when I was about 17, an older male friend walked me to my bus stop and was waiting until the bus left. Shortly after getting on, two boys from my school, who were on the bus, started calling me unpleasant names. My friend got on the bus and grabbed both of them by their coats and removed them from the bus. He held them until the bus left. It was the last bus home. Those lads never bothered me again.

I was being verbally abused by a school run dad - alcoholic bully I used to be friendly with - when another much bigger man stepped between and told him to leave me alone. I was a bit miffed as was handling it but still grateful.

On a bus my dd was being eyed up then talked at by a bloke. She was uncomfortable and tried to move away. Another man stepped in and kept an eye, told him to back off, annoying man got off the bus at next stop. Dd said she was fine..

I know i just wanted to say something funny ill go find a different thread.

My husband has had to do this too many times. He's an absolute softie who gets bullied by our kitten and the closest hes ever got to a fight is onstage in oaklahoma am dram but hes big and broad, taller than most. Never confrontational but just standing near by makes the other guy back off.

I will agree with others that its often women who come to the rescue. I once had to ram a guy with my empty pram (baby had been dropped off) and another time a friend yelled at a taxi driver to stop, opened the door, sprinted out and reappeared 15 secs later with another girl and yelled drive. She'd spotted someone being attacked and acted. I love women.

And sex trafficker, and pimp, and woman beater.

I think Greta said it best with "small dick energy".

Not for me, but I was waiting at a bus stop with my friends once (two women, two men) and we witnessed a girl getting sexually harassed at the stop. My male friend stepped in to confront the harasser. The harasser was incredibly aggressive and not loud and in the face of my male friend – it was very unpleasant. Then another very loud-mouthed, confident girl also at the bus stop absolutely tore his guy a new hole and he went to sit elsewhere.

Actually, never. A woman intervened once.

I always, always intervene quite strongly when I see a woman being harassed by a man, or shouted at by her partner. In every case there have been men sat around doing nothing about it, and so I also make the point to them that they should be ashamed.

No never been helped by a man.

Helped by women more than once.

Not really. One a friend who was drunk was shouting and threatening me and a bloke ran across the road and intervened, which was nice but I was ok.

I've waded in a few times. I was on a bus and overheard a girl being harassed by about five boys. Saying really awful sexual things to her. So I had a massive go at them, called them a load of bullies and asked if she wanted to sit with me.

Sorry about your experience, OP.

Don't be so silly.