to wonder if secondaries are really this bad?

[is30tooyoungformidlifecrisis]

I have heard such awful things about secondary schools these days and wonder if parents of teenagers can confirm or deny. Things like:

• Not allowed to take off blazers without permission and kids getting too hot, or opopsite I saw earlier today, not allowed to put on jumper without permission
• Toilets locked during lesson time
• Having to walk in a certain way around the corridors, have heard some students have to walk in silence around school

It seems like secondary pupils are treated like criminals. I'm 30 so have been out of school over a decade but it was nowhere near like this when I was at school - are these just extreme rumours or are they true?

YABU - No they aren't usually like this, that's just a few extreme rules
YANBU - This is what secondaries are like these days

Ds school has smoking areas for each year group including year 7s, the only rules seem to be smoke in the designated area and try not to shank anyone.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5160526-is-it-normal-for-secondary-schools-to-use-fear-their-induction-method-for-year-7s?page=1

There is plenty of info here

• Having to walk in a certain way around the corridors, .....

In large schools this is often a safety thing.

Not in my school. Blazers can be taken off whenever you want the same for putting a jumper on. The usual uniform rules apply though - shirts tucked in and skirts rolled down.

we do have a one way system in the corridors. It was brought in when we came back from Covid. It makes things so much easier and there is no manic corridors. They are also allowed to speak.

Toilets are locked straight after lunch for 10 minutes. This was to stop the vapers and boys messing around. If a child needs the toilet and can’t wait we have others they can use.

There’s also this mixed sex or non gender toilet situation. My friends daughter hasn’t used the school toilets for a year, since they are now mixed sex. She doesn’t drink or eat much at school. Horrendous situation. People who enabled / enforced mixed sex toilets only, should be ashamed.

My kids have done very well at secondary schools, no school is perfect

@Chichimcgee are your dc at school in Germany in the 1990s? We were slack jawed in amazement when the exchange students returned to NZ with stories like that.

My son's school has a lot of rules including silent corridors. The school has achieved amazing results with a group of kids from deprived backgrounds, so it's a system which works I think. Also he's really happy there.

“Try” not to.

Yes in general I think they are this strict. Teachers are individually nice and friendly but the rules are beyond belief. My yr 7 son (with autism and anxiety) was given a detention in first 2 days for forgetting his pe kit. They have a blanket rule in his school (even for sixth form) cannot take blazers, suit jackets off without permission.
It's unrecognisable from when I was at school.
Lots of my teacher friends buy into this teaching/ethos that this is the only way to keep order. The thing is we didn't have these strict rules and I think behaviour was better than it is now. Also in other countries in europe not all this daft uniform stuff and yet they manage to keep order.
It stands to reason to me (a non-teacher) that if you give out detentions like sweets for uniform infractions there are no dettterents for the bigger stuff beyond expulsion which seems to be difficult to do.
My poor boy was so mortified for the detention re pe kit (which was not his fault but mine) that I had to say how silly the whole system was and it was not his fault and not to worry about it. Thing is that is not how I want to be speaking to him about school sanctions. I want him to be mindful but I can't when they are handed out for silly stuff.
The thing about the jumpers in the thread today is just unkind. I can't think of any other excuse for it other than a power play.

• *Having to walk in a certain way around the corridors, have heard some students have to walk in silence around school

My kids’ school became one way after the pandemic and have stuck to corridors being one way which is probably for the best if you are a little year 7 and using the same overcrowded corridors as pupils who are 6 foot +

Yes, absolutely bat shit rules and treat the kids like criminals.

Mine got detention for hugging her friend last week as physical contact is banned.

I think you don't understand just how awful some kids are.

"not allowed to take off blazers without permission and kids getting too hot, or opposite I saw earlier today, not allowed to put on jumper without permission
Toilets locked during lesson time
Having to walk in a certain way around the corridors, have heard some students have to walk in silence around school"

This was all standard in my village secondary of 250 kids in the 1990s..

Or a "we tried to save money by building narrow corridors so we can't have children walking both ways at once" thing.
(absolute nightmare for disabled cihldren who have to use the lift)

Is this a serious post?

She told you that and you believed it? 😂

All those things are true at my child's school.

They also have a badge system, where if they jump through hoops to achieve one of their special badges, they get to jump the queue at the cafeteria. Perform like a dancing monkey and you get food.... don't perform and it'll either run out before you get to the front, or the 30 minute lunch break will be over and you stay hungry.

My Autistic girl doesn't have a special badge because she gets detentions for fidgeting, being disrespectful by not looking at the teacher and basically being Autistic. I'm going in for a meeting on Thursday...

Depends hugely on the school - but mostly yes.

DC school Toilets are locked after huge amount of expensive to fix vandalism but always been mixed sex and despite entry onto corridor not considered safe by most pupils for past few years.

It's not silent in corridors but insanely noisy so my kids have needed ear buds to cope

Apparently the last governments behaviour tzar approves these sanctions. Hopefully change is coming. What a miserable time some children have been having.

Absolutely - 280 kids trying to get in a building at the same time another 289 have to get in, means that common sense says it’s a one way system.
People labelling it ‘fear induction’ need to think about comms sense. 🤦‍♂️

One way corridors are for safety and to make the space less intimidating for the younger ones. There is a huge size (and confidence) difference between a year 7 and year 11.

I'm 35, and we weren't allowed to remove our blazers without permission when I was at school.

Unfortunately, parenting and society in general has changed since you were at school and there are far more behavioural issues that schools face. To maintain order and safety, schools have to be stricter on the small stuff. Conversely to what a PP suggested, sweating the small stuff actually does support in not enabling the high level behaviours. Lots of these things just make sense in a large school: one way systems in corridors avoids crushes; locking toilets during lessons stops students hiding in them and cuts internal truanting as there’s nowhere to hide (there are always toilets available for those who need them, but usually one area at a time, manned by staff). It’s about creating a purposeful environment for learning and enforcing clear standards that support students to make good choices behaviourally, and that impacts all students positively.