to wonder if secondaries are really this bad?

[is30tooyoungformidlifecrisis]

I have heard such awful things about secondary schools these days and wonder if parents of teenagers can confirm or deny. Things like:

• Not allowed to take off blazers without permission and kids getting too hot, or opopsite I saw earlier today, not allowed to put on jumper without permission
• Toilets locked during lesson time
• Having to walk in a certain way around the corridors, have heard some students have to walk in silence around school

It seems like secondary pupils are treated like criminals. I'm 30 so have been out of school over a decade but it was nowhere near like this when I was at school - are these just extreme rumours or are they true?

YABU - No they aren't usually like this, that's just a few extreme rules
YANBU - This is what secondaries are like these days

We had all these rules in the 80s and I don't recall any child finding it remotely traumatising.

In a single sex toilet you still wouldn’t be able to wash the blood off…you’re not going to come out the cubicle undressed to wash your hands! I loathe this being used as an argument. You should be wiping your hands clean before leaving the cubicle. Not getting blood on the lock, handle etc. If theres enough blood on your hands to transfer onto other surfaces like clothing, it’ll transfer onto the surfaces that the next poor sod has to touch. Wipe it clean with toilet paper. We’ve all been there, we’ve had the ‘massacre’ looking moments, but you don’t smear it everywhere. (Well…plenty people do in public toilets but they are animals.)

I don’t think it’s the uniform rules that are traumatising, it’s the vigour and diligence with which they are enforced, and the detentions so freely dispensed that are the problem. Couple that with SLANT (sit up, listen, ask and answer questions, nod and track the teacher), drilling the answers to exams into children rather than teaching the subject, and I can see why so many teachers are leaving the profession. They didn’t go into teaching to be warders.

What do you think the reasons are for these rules OP. Have a good think about it.

I’m 60 and went to a huge quite rough comprehensive
1 way system was needed otherwise small pupils would be crushed, toilets were locked other than at brief periods to stop smoking and theft of coats!
Uniform wasn’t quite as strict but they were hard on nail polish, make up and jewellery (I was always in trouble for these)
Corporal punishment was still allowed but very very rarely used - it was mainly policed by detentions, being put on report and exclusions
I don’t miss the male/female divide - eg I wasn’t allowed to do technical drawing, woodwork, metalwork or control technology - had to choose from cookery, needlework or childcare!
Also being treated like a sex object by male pupils and even teaching staff……..

Sorry, but is that a JOKE? Given than under 18s aren’t allowed to smoke????

All of what you listed. Plus must have five lines viable on his tie, top button can never ever be undone even at 30c

Cannot leave school in the school logo pe kit even if it is last period you must get changed again. No eating outside at all even an orange. No phones obviously.

Donuts and cold kfc are fine for lunch though 🤷🏻‍♀️🤣

Honestly I wish more schools would do this. The only downside to not having uniform is that kids from poorer backgrounds get bullied for not having the latest cool clothes etc.

I guess the rationale for the crazy uniform rules is that if having a hair bobble round your wrist gives you a day on isolation, you dread to think what anything bigger would get you. Not saying that I agree with this though.

My daughter’s secondary in contrasts to my sons is more like this. It’s business attire so if you’d wear it to the office it’s fine. Have your hair cut or coloured how you like, go out the front for break and lunch if you want. Canteen open for lunch, break and breakfast like a normal coffee shop style. Teachers are all first name basis even the head.

But it’s a dedicated stem school and only takes in 60 children a year.

Well most of them vape these days anyway but the Teachers hardly bat an eyelid at smoking given some of the behaviour they have to deal with and in some cases its known that telling certain children off for smoking isn't worth the hassle as long as its not close to buildings

I get that some of them are bad but what’s wrong my with a one way system? Would you prefer there to be a crush?

It’s not true of the school I work at. Parents need to support us more though, like not buying trainers as school shoes and letting their kid get their nose pierced on the last day of the holidays.

No, the OP’s examples are unusual apart from the one way system. They have to set a precedent about the PE kit so I guess if that was your fault you can just apologise to your son.

Now I wouldn’t let my kid get their nose pierced - always supposing I knew - but I honestly can’t see how a nose stud impacts their ability to learn or to study. I don’t think it’s any of the school’s business as long as the stud worn to school is discrete. You don’t own these children. You’re teaching them.

You parents are funny honestly. Protecting your little ones from a narrow corridor 😂😂. The rules will obviously be different for anyone who needs to use the lift.

My son's have finished secondary now but their school was strict. Blazers would have to be on unless permission given, orderly corridors, no free walking out to the loo. Children who were managed moved in generally did not stay as they didn't like the rules. However the results were great, kids that wanted to learn did so and those who did not wish to live within the school rules generally left either by choice or not. I get that this is not every parents ideal situation but I didn't want my children to be distracted by kids who were there to mess about.
For GCSE's the school offered in school revision that they were expected to attend, 3 chances to behave - those who didn't would revise at home. It paid off...both got grades well above average and have gone onto other 6th forms / Uni. This was a mixed state secondary.

They are a health and safety issue and not smart.

The lift comment was in response to my disabled daughter (so less able than other children) having to spend her days fighting against the one way system to get to the lift if getting to it required going in the "wrong" direction.

Not particularly funny. But you laugh away.

Laughing at the comment about saving money by having narrow corridors, as if that’s a thing. They just need to let your daughter leave lessons 5 minutes early. Wouldn’t it be a problem even without the one way system?

Again, don't know why you were laughing. It's openly acknowledged by the school, the local authority, the builders and the architects, hat the corridors in my DC's school were purposely reduced in width from the original design, to save money. It was a lesson that was actually learnt and subsequent schools were built with wider corridors

Yes, they do need to let my daughter leave 5 minutes early, shame she can't always do it because means missing something key.

How on earth are they a health and safety issue when they do bugger all physical activity in most secondaries?

My dd manages to do triathlons with a nose ring and only takes it out when she's mountain biking.

Totally agree with the PP who says kids should be able to wear what they want at secondary level.

More are leaving because of the behaviour of children and parents.

We did have an issue once when someone’s hair got caught in someone’s nose stud and almost pulled it out.