to wonder if secondaries are really this bad?

[is30tooyoungformidlifecrisis]

I have heard such awful things about secondary schools these days and wonder if parents of teenagers can confirm or deny. Things like:

• Not allowed to take off blazers without permission and kids getting too hot, or opopsite I saw earlier today, not allowed to put on jumper without permission
• Toilets locked during lesson time
• Having to walk in a certain way around the corridors, have heard some students have to walk in silence around school

It seems like secondary pupils are treated like criminals. I'm 30 so have been out of school over a decade but it was nowhere near like this when I was at school - are these just extreme rumours or are they true?

YABU - No they aren't usually like this, that's just a few extreme rules
YANBU - This is what secondaries are like these days

Peeps @Chichimcgee 's post about smoking areas was a joke. And when the OP mentioned having to walk a certain way in corridors she meant things like in silence, single file, not just a one way system.

There was definitely a smoking area in my school in the '70s...completely unofficial, but the staff knew it was there. They turned a blind eye if they walked past.

My son’s school (only 6 years ago) was like this. Blazers on in the middle of a heatwave and when he asked for permission to take his off the teacher refused, saying that nobody else was too hot! I loathe this sort of power trippy approach.

We weren’t allowed to take blazers off without permission and had to use a one way system around school in the 90s. We also had to stand up whenever an adult came into your classroom, whether it was your teacher or someone coming into your lesson and could only sit when told to. We had to be able to climb onto a chair to prove our skirt wasn’t too tight!

This doesn’t feel shocking to me. I had a teacher who had a rule that “the only thing you can do in my classroom without permission is breathe”. My kids think their school is easier than mine was.

Unisex toilets have been quietly changed back to boys and girls separately at dc school. The loos were awful as unisex, nowhere private re periods, girls and boys hated it.

Also no mobiles at school, or the insane one where not allowed home or contact home if poorly.
Pointed out that unless the tyrant deciding if dc were lying or not was a qualified doctor perhaps they should err on the side of caution when ignoring lower stomach pains in case its appendicitis. Still annoyed now.

Blazers are a load of tosh as well. It does nothing to help prepare kids for ‘business dress’ as most of the students will then go to university to dress like slobs for 3-4 years and people are much more casual in the workplace.

Business attire is absolute bollocks. I know a guy who works with senior members of the government and I have never ever seen him wear a tie. He has a suit that I’ve seen him in once. (He had a meeting with the PM. that day.) On the other hand he has a first-class degree from one of the Oxbridge universities and a distinction in his masters from another very well-respected institution, and that’s why he’s got the job that he’s got. Schools seem to have lost sight of their purpose.

Thanks for all replies they've been really informative! Just to clarify, I meant having to walk round corridors in a certain manner, not direction, for example being silent or without touching others (girls at my school would often walk along holding hands!) I think a one way system sounds sensible

My sons’ school was obsessive about clothing rules to the point of cruelty. They were also utterly incapable of managing drugs incidents and assault. I had to home-ed both my children in the end, as it was not a safe environment.

At my secondary school you could take your blazers off and put jumpers on during lessons. If it was REALLY cold you could wear a school-branded coat in lesson. When walking around the school however you had to wear your blazer at all times unless it was a very hot day. If so, we'd be told we have a 'blazers off' day in the morning. This never seemed to be a problem.

Toilets weren't locked but we had toilet passes to be allowed out to the toilet during lesson time and only one child was allowed from each class at a time to avoid any messing around.

In the halls, we had to walk on the left just for safety reasons as there were so many children and it was chaos.

Yup!

My son’s school is mandatory jumpers and blazers, blazers may only be taken off with permission and only whilst in the classroom, they have to be put back on to walk to the next class then ask the next teacher for permission to take it off again, its stupid. My son has health issues that are exacerbated by being too warm (which he often is) and we’ve had to apply for a jumper pass from the SEN team, it was approved but 6 months on, a dozen times of chasing up and he still hasn’t had it and continues to receive sanctions for not wearing it! If its exceptionally hot in summer they sometimes make jumpers & ties optional for a couple of weeks.

Coats are not permitted to be worn in the building so even if it’s chucking it down you have to remove your coat before going inside and be outside before you can put it on.

Shoes must be black leather, boots are not permitted even if they are black leather but have far better soles for winter.

If you don’t eat in the canteen (rarely space and for purchasers only) or do clubs over lunch you have to sit outside in all weathers as you can’t just sit in your form rooms like we used to when I was at school.

He’s just come home from the start of term and announced that the toilets are now essentially unisex, the girls & boys still technically have separate halves, each half manned by a teacher of that sex but the wall between the two has been knocked down and urinals removed so its cubicles only!! Doors are locked during lesson times so they can only be accessed at break times.

In my day it was just a jumper over your shirt and if you got hot you just took it off and tied it around your waist, no hassle no permission needed. As long as your pants and shoes were the right colour no one cared about style, I wore combat / cargo pants and doc martins! No bathroom restriction, if I needed it between lessons I could use it. I hated school enough back then, I’d definitely hate to go to school these days.

Our local high school (which I hope my DS gets into) is known for being super strict but producing brilliant results. It has a zero tolerance policy to everything, to bullying, short skirts, wrong uniform, not doing homework, bad language, make up, disruption in class, not following the one way system, you name it. I went to a high school which was the complete opposite and I can tell you, I would choose military boot camp for teenagers over my high school experience any day.

Just tobacco and vapes. I was really shocked when ds went in year 7 and they asked if he smokes or vapes it has to be in the designated year 7 smoking area. On paper it's a horrendous school but he seems to be doing OK there strangely

My DD goes to the same secondary as we did and even back then the one way corridor system was in place.

They are strict with uniforms and if children are wearing branded hoodies etc they are told to take them off
They also must wear their tie or a text is sent home.

The main toilets are locked after break and lunch but each corridor has their own toilets which can be used if you ask although they aren't keen if it's straight after break or lunch and don't allow 2 to go at one time

I don't think the rules are terrible to be honest and as they go up in years they have more freedoms

It's difficult because at the beginning of secondary they are expected to be grown up but still treated like children imo

I have private messaged you, unfortunately it's true

It's not a joke, I wish it was!

Is this particularly strict? I'm ancient, but even when I was in secondary school (80s-90s) there was a one way system around the school, you could only talk quietly in corridors and nobody ever asked to go to the toilet during lessons. I assume if there had been an emergency / someone was unwell then they would have been excused, but ordinarily we all managed to use the loo during break/lunch.

This was all just part of school life, I don't recall anyone moaning about it or thinking it was strict or unfair at the time though. (obviously, we all nipped through no-entry doors when we thought we could get away with it, during quiet times/no teachers about! This was the height of rebelliousness for me - I was usually very law-abiding!)

Maybe someone should try opening a school that is really lenient and see if it gets better results than the schools with (quite sensible) rules regarding behaviour.

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Physical contact between pupils was banned in my state school in 1978. Hugging was absolutely forbidden.

That's nothing new.

When I was in school (1990), the toilets were locked between lessons, and we were supposed to file through corridors calmly, but that didn't always happen. There was a lot of heavy supervision due to fighting between boys. The toilets were locked to stop graffiti, smoking, and students having sex with each other.

Why? You don’t have to go to the other extreme. Just treat people, all people including students, with respect. Drop the ridiculous, often time-consuming and expensive notions about minor uniform deviations. (I would say ease right back on the uniform but I know that causes apoplexy in some here.)
Children learn best when they’re. relaxed and content. Drilling facts into them to pass exams isn’t going to prepare them for university if that’s the aspiration. That will just keep the school’s GCSE results up and put a lot of kids off “learning”. They should leave school with a thirst for knowledge, not relief that they don’t have to go everywhere with 2 black pens, 2 blue pens, 2 red pens and a tie they will never wear again.

"Just treat people, all people including students, with respect"

Sounds great but does not account for human nature.

There's a reason we don't just rely on "Respect" to maintain society. We use " laws" instead....

Sure there is a minority of students who need stricter monitoring but that should never be an excuse for staff to terrify all children.
Instead of sending the bad boys (and girls) to a detention which will be entirely meaningless to them teach them anger management instead. And maybe find out if what’s making them angry can be addressed.

They fail to impose any discipline at home and protest if anyone else does. The deterioration in behaviour owes a lot to the parental attitude and lack of support. They 'know my right's but unfortunately are utterly ignorant of their responsibilities.

Bladders are strange in young people, they can't go a couple of hours without emptying them, allegedly, in school but can stand at a concert, football match etc for much longer without the same need.