Friend asking to borrow clothes, awkward!

[Jiminycrickets]

I have a friend who asks to borrow my clothes. We are both in our 40s, she’s financially secure. She’s a school Mum, so I have to tread carefully to avoid awkward interactions.
I don’t have anyone else in my life who asks or does this! I don’t borrow clothes either. This is something we all did at uni when everyone had limited funds and clothing. I leant her a cheap shirt about a year ago, because I felt put on the spot in a group of people. She returned it clean. But now she’s asked to borrow a very expensive dress of mine and I don’t want to lend it. The main reason is I feel you can always tell when someone a different shape has worn your things and they don’t fit the same. She also could notreplace it if something happened, it’s out of stock.
Years ago, my flat mate borrowed my shoes without asking and stretched them out so much I couldn’t wear them anymore because they fell off. Since then I really don’t feel comfortable with the concept.
How can I say no without making it awkward and also fend off future requests?

Maybe just say the dress is special for sentimental reasons and you wouldn't feel comfortable letting her borrow it just incase something happened

I think you can just say no? " sorry, I don't feel comfortable lending clothes" and then just keep saying it. You don't have to give a reason "no, I don't want to"

Just say you don't share your clothes. Most people don't.

Even in undergrad, I only once borrowed something from someone. We were expecting a Holi type thing and I was worried about damage to the clothes since they said 'come in something you're not concerned about getting damaged' and my then flatmate offered to lend me a top since I was concerned about all of mine.

I'd tell a white lie and say you no longer lend items out after a previous bad experience when another friend returned something with a stain on it. If she pushes and assures you she'll take care then mention this particular dress is now out of stock and no way would you want to risk anything happening to it. Hopefully she will get the message, but be prepared to keep saying no, you've made up your mind.

'I don't lend things I know I can't replace as it puts too much pressure on the person, and makes me worried'. Keep repeating if she says 'oh, I'll be really careful'.

I don't really know any adults who regularly borrow clothes from each other - it would never occur to me even to ask and I'd be really surprised if someone asked me.

I never borrow clothes but do sometimes lend mine out. I don't think it's that strange for someone to ask. I more get asked about a dress I wore to a wedding than just a casual shirt.

I would not lend out something if I wasn't happy or would be worried about it. Maybe make that point clear?

YANBU OP.

But if you feel uncomfortable saying “no” make up an excuse like “the zip/clasp is broken”.

Give people an inch they’ll take a mile.

My answer to this is a very surprised "oh gosh no!! Who shares clothes?".

20yo DD and her friends borrow clothes from each other all the time, I wouldn’t expect older adults to though. Just say “sorry, I don’t lend things anymore” with a smile. Never give excuses as they allow people to argue against them. I have had to have that conversation with quite a few people when they see my bookshelves.

“Please don’t take this personally, but after a bad experience, I just don’t lend clothes to anyone at all anymore. Sorry, but I can’t let you borrow my dress.”

I would just say I don’t like lending people my clothes, which is (a) true; and (b) hard to argue with. There’s no reason we have to play nice and share expensive dresses. If this other woman doesn’t understand that, it’s probably time she learned.

"Sorry no, I'm not comfortable lending clothes out."

I’m exactly the same OP. I hate lending clothes. I’d tell a white lie and say any old bullshit. Like

Oh I’ve sold it on Vinted.
My cousin Jane has it, she wants it for a do she’s got coming up
Oh you wouldn’t want it, it got trashed when I wore it to such and such.
Gave it to charity

If she sees you wearing it again, she may just get the hint.

I've found it flattering when friends have asked to borrow clothes and they have full use of my wardrobe. There are a few favourite dresses which I will put to one side, only my sister can borrow those!

When it comes to fancy dress we almost help each other out. X

Just put on your big girl pants and say no! It's an unreasonable request. Kindly, grow a spine

This is the worst advice ever. Will make you look like a total nut job

I would say " Oh sorry Jill, Im not in the habit of lending clothes out really,No offence but never occured to me really" She sounds a CF really ,who does this unless a teenager?

Just say no. "No, I don't lend out my clothes, they're very personal items" should get the message across.

I wouldn't pussyfoot around it. Who knows what she'll ask for next if you do.

Just say no and be careful about some of the "white lies" suggested above, they could backfire. E.g. if you say the zip is broken she may offer to have it repaired. The only white lie I'd consider is saying you don't lend out clothes any more due to getting something back that was damaged.

"I made a rule with myself that I dont lend clothes that I am not happy to give away. You know what they say, once bitten twice shy!"

Be more Zammo - just say no!

Keep it simple and honest "Hmmmm, honestly, I'd rather not, it's not something I'm really comfortable with doing so I'm going to have to say No" and then move the conversation on or repeat if she persists.

Why? Seems like generic reasons not to lend clothes to me, nothing crazy