To want to educate my child in state but provide the straw that make it like a private education?

[palegazelle]

Is that even possible? I don't think I quite have the money to send all my children private, but I do have some money that I'd like to use for extras like tutoring, music lessons, sports extra
-curriculars and the opportunity to spend some time with them myself on things that others might use a tutor for.

So how do I give my children as close to the advantages of private school as possible without actually sending them to private?

What is the difference that makes the difference and which parts of it can I replicate in the state system? How?

My son had swimming at state primary. French he had was with the native speaker and qualified teacher, every school has specialists at ICT and a room full of computers, many many clubs after school Chromebooks, music and art teachers. Art therapist, a counselor you can meet and go with you frenemy to discuss iasues, gardening, chickens and .any many other things.
Yes, there is more kids in class but it depends on the age. You have to compare it at a specific age group. The older they get the less teaching assistants per class

Haven't read the full thread. Apparently the biggest influence on a child is their peer group. So surround your children with ambitious, driven and hopefully talented and high achieving peers .......

That would be grammar then and not just any private

Swimming is part of the curriculum so all schools have to do it.

I believe the national curriculum requirement is 25m by the end of y6. Most privates would have all of y2 doing that. Most states, swimming will be a term or 2 in upper KS2, not weekly starting in reception.

"I didn't want my boy screamed at, manhandled, publicly shamed etc - which takes place in every state school."

Jesus. Is that what you think?

Interesting you think you can imply motive into the decision making of 1,000s of disparate parents you don't know. Your assumptions show how little you know about the subject. And, frankly, how ill-fitting your username is. No room for your lazy stereotypes here.

I don’t think it works like that anymore. Maybe 20 years ago not now. Not in law firms anyway. It’s all blind cvs and inclusion and diversity

It's not capped at 20, some classes are 21/22, but none are full. My oldest class has just gone up to 24 in year 4 as 3 children joined this year but has been 20-21 past 4 years, youngests class in year 1 is 19. It's just undersubscribed as the other primary in our village has an outstanding ofsted whereas ours has a 'good' rating, and many parents are drawn to an ofsted rating.
Head is very good at getting grants, extra SEN funding, finding ways to raise money such as leasing school buildings to holiday clubs etc. Doesn't use supply teachers as has extra on staff, which she says is more cost effective. Kept it as a seperate infants and juniors on paper, which attracts more government funding than a combined primary.
We have a PTA,raised about 8k last year, helps, but not huge. There are a few middle earning parents - teachers, nurses etc, but I don't know of any which would be very well off.

Does it matter? Kids will learn to swim if you take them to a pool enough. It was my thing that I did with my dad every week when I was a child. Two of our kids learnt from messaging about in the pool at center parcs.

Even my child who couldn't go swimming due to COVID was swimming within half a dozen seasons once I was able to go swimming with her again.

I agree that connections is the really big one you can’t replicate outside the private sector. Confidence you can help with but it’s tricky especially if they’re not thriving in their state school.

Well, anecdotally of course, I'm a state parent and my 14 year old has just moved from an Ofsted outstanding single sex former grammar school (known as xxxxtown Grammar School) to a good comp in a far less affluent area purely because I've inherited our family home and moved back. I asked him how his first week went on Friday and one of the things he said was 'it's better than the Grammar because if we have a problem the teachers actually help us and don't shame us because we can't do something'. It obviously doesn't happen in all state schools but clearly there's some!

@Tmpnmc86 oh it does to private schools and their parents.

In Wales, Urdd is a national voluntary youth organisation which provides opportunities for children to take part in a range of experiences through the medium of Welsh. Kids must be members to take part in their activities. It’s about £10 per year with discounts for families in receipt of certain benefits.

Our dc were in a one form entry Welsh medium primary. We’d cobbled a swimming team together for our area’s Urdd swimming gala which was held at a local leisure centre. Parents had taken time off work to help get the kids there and back a d the kids were very excited to have the opportunity (and a day ‘off’ school!) .

Imagine our surprise when a team from a private girls school in the neighbouring county rocked up in their school minibus, wearing their school swimming costumes with matching swimming hats supported by their swimming teacher! Everything then had to be translated into English as they had no clue what was going on. The main thing was that they won lots of races despite not even subscribing to the ethos of Urdd. That really pissed me off.

That sounds awful. “Allowed to join”-how horrible.

Not our experience of private educated teens Dd has friends from various different local private schools friendly gorgeous girls
dont give two hoots what school Dd is at.

To some people presumably it does matter as they spend money on swimming lessons. I was just pointing out that if swimming lessons in school are important to someone, it’s one of the areas state and private are probably most different. I wouldn’t rely on state school swimming lessons to get a child swimming to be honest.

They may learn floating and basic movement but a proper swimming they can only learn with an instructor or a very experienced swimmer.

Exactly. How entitled, what a superiority complex.

Join them up to a good cathedral/church choir, pay for instrumental lessons, ditto speech and drama lessons, do a wide array of activities after school and at weekends eg swimming, riding, sailing, tennis lessons, dance lessons. Book good holiday clubs - sports weeks eg football, rugby, hockey, netball, theatre group holiday clubs. Get them tutors (subject specific). Have an annual skiing holiday. Go on interesting and fun days out to stately homes, museums, farms, zoos, beaches, parks. Go the theatre and watch a range of plays, musicals, ballets, operas. Buy lots of books, visit the library regularly, read for pleasure everyday. Play board games, card games, do lots of arts and crafts and cookery at home. Ensure good table manners. Keep phones and tech downstairs overnight.

The main thing was that they won lots of races despite not even subscribing to the ethos of Urdd. That really pissed me off.

@Muchtoomuchtodo why was this private school allowed to take part if they didn’t subscribe to the ethos?

Because they’d paid their membership.

Urdd is inclusive, there are no rules against what this school did but to me it was wrong as simply paying your £10 does not truly make you a member if you’re not also signing up to everything that the organisation stands for. Providing opportunities in the Welsh language and promoting Welsh culture are the biggest things and to me it seemed that this school, with all their advantages (swimming pool, swimming teacher, transport) were just there to win. It still makes me cross many years later.

It’s the same with the music prodigies from private schools who turn up to compete in the Urdd Eisteddfod despite not speaking the language at all. It’s very different to Welsh learners who compete in their own competitions for those learning the language and embracing Welsh.

Thank you for answering my question.
Yes it does seem unfair. Could they include a rule that competitors must speak Welsh?

I suppose they could. Or the private schools could just be more respectful and teach their pupils that it’s not all about the winning

........or you could just leave them to be children and not be pushing them from one organised activity or private tutor to another. No wonder kids mental health is so bad these days.

@TheSnootiestFox

That is why I always say that it is not enough to be bright to go to grammar school. A child has to be also very resilient. Grammar schools push for best results in the worse possible way and the y receive much less funding per pupil than comprehensives . I am not a supporter of grammar systems. I am surprised that parents allow that to happen

No wonder one grammar in the recent years shut down for racial and sexist slurs.

Your son will do very well in the top sets of the good comprehensive and definitely he will be learning in a mentally healthier environment