AIBU to wonder if it’s the done thing when people share their kids ‘big’ achievements online?

[tricerotopsrule]

Just wondering how people generally perceive social media posts or messages from people who post about their kids? Eg, big sports achievements, great exam results, getting a new job, passing a driving test, anything where they did really well really. Some things seem to come across as more acceptable than others eg it seems somehow more acceptable to post about sports achievements but not with exam results. Eg I barely saw any posts about school kids exam results even though I know loads of friends whose kids did well. But I often see football and gymnastics posts etc where competitions have been won etc.

Just wondering how people generally perceive these posts- being a very proud parent or would you see it as being boastful / smug / insensitive?

I find your posts really strange.
Of course nobody is angered at people being proud of their child’s achievements, how did you even get there?

I like hearing about people's
Kids successes. Doesn't bother me in the slightest.

Nobody is angry at their friends/ acquaintances/family members for being proud of their children. What was discussed is, is it right to post about your children's personal life on your sm? A lot of us are saying no, let them decide what information they want out there on the internet when they are old enough to understand what that means. Nobody is walking around in a rage about their friend’s kid getting an A* in maths and their mum being proud of them. It’s just that it’s nobody’s business than the child’s.

I like seeing milestones of friends’ children. But I know some people who post their children’s entire primary school reports which is a bit odd
IMO!

Yes. I've been friends for 15 years with a couple. Their eldest is very academic. Endless reminders of 'genius'. My Dc is Autistic & Dyslexic. Equally clever (imo) but struggles to convert that to exam success. I thought I was just being a bit jaundiced about the Dad's showing off but then my eldest was really ill, ended up in intensive care & has had to cancel their Uni plans this year. The Dad of the couple, who knew this, spent 20 mins telling me about the new car he's going to buy for his youngest. Tone deaf.

No kids (I know, why am I even on MN? 🙄) so never do this, though if I were active on FB I might be the type to post cute photos of my pets. However, I don't see why sharing/boasting about athletic/sporty achievements is any less annoying than sharing that a child has excelled academically, in a hobby, etc.

Some people like to do it. Maybe they think they're just 'sharing' with friends and family they don't speak to as often. Maybe they see other people 'sharing' about their own children and are eager to join in when they have the chance.

At any rate, I'd think that seeing boasting on social media would be preferable to being told face to face. At least online you're free to roll your eyes or just scroll on by, if it annoys you. No-one is forcing us to use social media, anyway, and it's easy enough to opt out.

But otherwise you’re just seeking validation and trying to impress everyone or trying to make others feel small. There really is no other reason for sharing it with hundreds of social media ‘ friends ’.

Yeah - the reason I share the achievements of my ds with a degenerative neuromuscular condition is to make others feel small.

I'm sure they all come away wailing that they wish they had one and their children too 🙄

Maybe it's because everyone who achieves something should be celebrated.

And most of us don't have 100's of random SM friends. I have just friends and family and people whose lives I'm interested in and are interested in mine.

Go minifamous that's great. And too right it's to be celebrated. It's a big thing. He played well and got recognised. Why pretend he didn't 🥳

Can I ask a question.

All those saying it shouldn't be done have you been following SM posts of the Olympics and paralympics?

It's sharing with a much wider audience the sporting achievements of a few elite athletes in comparison to the size of the country.

Do you think the sports bodies are boasting or is it ok to share what's been acheived?

Is it ok - for example - when my ds competes for the country I share the post that's reached wider audiences with my close friends and family?

No wonder kids have trouble with anxiety etc nowadays if no one's allowed to shout from the rooftops when they achieve something!

There's nothing wrong with being good at something. There's nothing wrong with others knowing or acknowledging that.

It's not the telling - it's how it's told.

Thankyou @itsgettingweird 🥰🥰🥰

After a big week starting high school (which I'm equally as proud about!) it was a huge moment for him!

Me celebrating his achievements isn't, for example, knocking the kids who didn't get man of the match and making them feel bad. It's celebrating HIS achievements.the same if he got good grades - we shouldn't feel bad to celebrate achievements in case we upset someone. Most people realise that and are happy for others, including children.

My kids are at uni and I have never posted about them on SM. They have done brilliantly, and I have told them how amazing they are and how proud of them I am. That’s all that matters.

If friends and family have asked me about their results/uni destinations I have of course told them. But I have never volunteered the info, never mind bragged. The modern world of showing off is just not my cup of tea.

Spot on

Agree. My uni kids are happy that I have never posted about them. They are confident and successful but would cringe so much if I posted braggy comments.

I don't mind posts when the children are small, but I do think the posts about secondary school children are unnecessary. So many children really struggle at secondary school so it just feels really insensitive.

It's all very well saying 'it's a milestone' but what about those who just aren't hitting those milestones? It's just another slap in the face for those children and their families who are sometimes already hanging by their fingers tips.

This

Some things might not seem like huge achievements either but you might not know what the circumstances are. You can't judge.

I love to hear the positivity.

My dc are those just hanging in there. They maybe be older but just chronologically. After years of battles for support damn right I'm posting the big achievements.

@isthereaway wishing your DS well. I hope he's in good heath soon and able to go to uni next year as planned. I'm so sorry you've had to suffer tone deaf bragging parents at what must have been an incredibly stressful time.

I don't mind posts when the children are small, but I do think the posts about secondary school children are unnecessary. So many children really struggle at secondary school so it just feels really insensitive
I have seen posts by parents whose children are really struggling with school for many different reasons. This is why I'm happy when these parent's post something that they are proud their child has done.

Why do you assume the people posting don't also have kids who struggle in one way or another?

Braggy. I really dislike it.

Why do you assume the people posting don't also have kids who struggle in one way or another?

Exactly. I've posted my ds acheivements.

They are achievements because at 11yo he wanted to end his life due to bullying and anxiety and then was diagnosed with a degenerative neuromuscular condition.

I'll be buggered if I'm not going to shout from the rooftops when he achieves something.

He's overcome a lot. I'm proud of him. He should be proud of himself.

And others can choose to be proud or just scroll on by.

A Level results day was crap for both my DC, neither of whom got the grades they needed for their first choice Uni.
so I didn’t particularly relish the posts from other Mums congratulating Tarquin & Matilda on their brilliant success and how they’ll be heading off to Oxbridge in the Autumn.
although of course I am pleased for Tarquin & Matilda, who are lovely kids.

Maybe some of those parents never expected their children to reach those milestone either. Have you considered that?

I nearly lost my daughter. She was born prematurely to save her life and was diagnosed early with hearing loss and sight problems.

Even after 18 years, I'm still overwhelmed every single day that I have a daughter to celebrate at all.

So, yes, I will celebrate her and every other child's/young person's achievements regardless of what they are.

All children should be celebrated.

I never do and I’m not being smug on here but my DC was Head Girl, As in all exams, tonnes of prizes for sports, it would get very boastful, I guess I see it as her achievement not mine. My other child is not like this so we have to celebrate but also keep a balance so my youngest doesn’t feel insecure - we celebrate their wins too even though the school might not,

Well said Grey I'm really pleased your DD survived a traumatic birth and you've had a whole childhood to celebrate her. You shout it from the rooftops.