AIBU to wonder if it’s the done thing when people share their kids ‘big’ achievements online?

[tricerotopsrule]

Just wondering how people generally perceive social media posts or messages from people who post about their kids? Eg, big sports achievements, great exam results, getting a new job, passing a driving test, anything where they did really well really. Some things seem to come across as more acceptable than others eg it seems somehow more acceptable to post about sports achievements but not with exam results. Eg I barely saw any posts about school kids exam results even though I know loads of friends whose kids did well. But I often see football and gymnastics posts etc where competitions have been won etc.

Just wondering how people generally perceive these posts- being a very proud parent or would you see it as being boastful / smug / insensitive?

What a perfect way to show absolute negative thinking!! You obvious won't have any form of social media yourself I assume?

Haha!

thank you. And I am every bit as proud of his brother who hasn’t got the same results but still worked hard and has had a lot of challenges in school. I wouldn’t boast about grades (publicly 😅) because yes hard work is part of it but so is luck - being suited to our system of assessment, having a stable environment in which to study, not having health issues or disability, or dealing with family members with the same…etc

Parents do it for the themselves not for the kids. They will use the excuse it’s for granny and grandpa to see but it isn’t. Being proud of your kids doesn’t required you to post about it on SM. I have one FB friend who only ever posts about her Dd achievements. It already tiresome and she gets fewer and fewer likes over the years. I secretly hope her child rebels in a couple of years and we’ll see what she posts about then.

Scroll by if it doesn’t interest you

Such a cop out. I’ve already seen it and judged you for it even if I don’t interact with the post.

although I do unfollow people who do it too much.

I love seeing photos / posts of my friends kids achievements / milestones - they are my friends, they are people that I like - why wouldn't I want to share their celebration?

My last two 'kid' related posts were celebrating DSD's graduation and DS winning an industry award - they are 26 and 22 and both sent photos telling me that I could put it on socials if I wanted (ie could I please put it on facebook) and promptly 'liked' every single comment.

It goes to show how subjective everything is, because reading this I would have said the issue is with you being pissed off as opposed to the parent saying “really good”.

I do think a lot of it is about how we perceive humility. Some people see humility as a necessity, whereas others see it as completely unnecessary. I suppose you would fall into the former whereas the other parent falls into the latter?

I do but I don’t over share info about my kids. There are some old photos on my FB on there but nothing about their grades or other achievements. We celebrate that at home but not in the public eye.

So the ones who don’t feel the need to be validated by others are insecure?

I post about my kids' achievements on Facebook. But I only have very close friends and family members on there. I ignore friendship requests from everyone else. My posts are only visible by my Facebook contacts.

It's an easy way of keeping people up to date with what's going on in our lives. I don't really see the issue. If you don't like it, scroll past it 🤷🏻‍♀️

No I never have posted anything about ds on social media but then I do not about myself

but I am sure I bore everyone to tears around me on how amazing he is 😁

Your 'don't over share' could be another's cringing at your boastful blasting of your news....😉

I like seeing all the achievements! Love seeing sporting achievements being celebrated and also exams, reports, plays, musical achievements - all of it! Life can be so miserable and depressing and so i love seeing people celebrating and being proud.

They're the ones saying they're bothered by others fb posts!

I was brought up to believe that you share your achievements in a close circle only, with people who are 100% sure to be delighted for you. When accomplishments are significant, others will share them for you.

That’s a much more effective principle and I think it has served my family well

Just wondering how people generally perceive social media posts or messages from people who post about their kids?

I judge people more on the size of their friends list than I do the content. I've got more time for someone who goes OTT but only has 20 friends than I have for someone sharing every detail of their lives with hundreds of "friends".

Parents who do this come across as ego driven saddos. Once knowing them better it confirms that view.

Same.

My daughter is off to university soon and I still have parents of her primary school friends/peers on FB.

She hasn't been friends with some of them since primary and wasn't ever really friends at all with some of them - they were just in the same class.

But we always share achievements - sporting, musical, academic - and we all always comment/react positively to them; congratulate them and wish them luck. Why wouldn't we? I'd consider it to be a very bitter, petty person who was actively pissed off by another parent's pride in their child. And I actually love to see it.

The second to reply said “Really good”. It seriously pissed me off! Implication being that her kid had done better than mine. And I felt I couldn’t say “well actually my DD…”.

I'm sorry, but that really is a you problem! You might have inferred that but her comment certainly didn't imply it. Maybe her kid just did better than her kid expected to... it was nothing to do with you.

My daughter got the A level results she wanted and needed for the degree course she wanted to do. Why would I care if someone else's child got higher grades than her?

I don't really care either way. SM is the easiest way to tell a lot of people your news, so if they choose to it's up to them.

PS But I would celebrate publicly a child who had really struggled and wanted me to do that!

@roundthepound but shouldn't you already know them if you are on their social media, and if you don't then why are you? What are you getting out of being connected to them if you have no interest in them or their families. It's a bit different if it was linked in but Facebook etc is for you to share things with the people you are close to.

But surely you only have people you know on social media anyway?

From a privacy point of view : it doesn’t really matter if you send pictures through a whatsapp group with friends or share them on facebook with the same friends. Both are owned by Meta , they have your data either way.

I like to see my best friends achievements, in sports but also other activities. I like to see what they do in the weekends … If children work hard it’s good to be proud. I only post pictures where my kids are not recognizable. Just the scenery or some props…

I know of someone who will add anyone, as she can't see the problem in random people knowing all her business. Added to which, a great many profiles seem to have so many things public, particularly photos.

What's social media for if not to share stuff like that with friends? I don't like to over share myself and make sure the settings are private but talk about a bunch of miseries some of you are! Don't look if it gets your knickers in a twist.

Well that's foolish but people's personal choice I suppose.

If complete random aren't interested, I assume they just ignore.

My profile is locked down and I only have people I know or have known in real life.