AIBU to wonder if it’s the done thing when people share their kids ‘big’ achievements online?

[tricerotopsrule]

Just wondering how people generally perceive social media posts or messages from people who post about their kids? Eg, big sports achievements, great exam results, getting a new job, passing a driving test, anything where they did really well really. Some things seem to come across as more acceptable than others eg it seems somehow more acceptable to post about sports achievements but not with exam results. Eg I barely saw any posts about school kids exam results even though I know loads of friends whose kids did well. But I often see football and gymnastics posts etc where competitions have been won etc.

Just wondering how people generally perceive these posts- being a very proud parent or would you see it as being boastful / smug / insensitive?

But so what? Why can’t parents be proud of their child and declare their achievements just because others didn’t achieve the same?

Yes, I agree.

I like seeing how my friends and family are doing, I like seeing their kids passing driving tests or their new garden makeover.

I post about my kids achievements online (with their permission - they’re 19 and 22).

Not stuff about school reports, but the bigger stuff - when DD1 graduated and passed her driving test or when DD2 competes in some horse riding event and gets a rosette.

I guess it depends on how you use social media, but mine is private and I only have family and actual friends as followers and I’m happy for them when I see all their achievements.

Just to add, I haven’t ever done this in relation to my child. But when friends do it about their children I don’t mind at all. I just feel pleased for them.

I do post our family achievements on Facebook but mostly to keep the memories for us, I have an album of ‘school years’ ‘DC1 football’ ‘DC2 dance’ etc. So I post a photo and add it to the album, it’s lovely when in 1,2,5,10 years that those memories appear.

Social media isn't even aware that I had a second and third child. I don't post them or about them. Hardly post at all to be honest.

Our extended family (we're close) have a WhatsApp group where we share news.

It feels slightly performative.

From the age of 15ish, I grew up with parents who posted about every little achievement I had on their huge Facebook accounts and I really really hated it as i’m a private person.

Eventually everytime I shared news/a photo with them, i had to ask, ‘but please dont share this on facebook’ or it would be up in minutes. My dad wasn’t a great dad growing up, so it came across as boasting/attention seeking/look how good of a parent i am.

Now i’m pregnant with my own, I’ll most likely post photos on my Instagram, like their first day at school, holiday photos etc, but specific achievements/grades will just be posted in the family whatsapp chat.

I completely agree...and I'm also no longer on SM and work as a children's therapist so see the impact SM and being unable to develop a healthy sense of self that isn't attached to an internet presence has.

I don’t brag about my kids on social media because it makes me cringe when others do.

It's refreshing to see a (general) societal push back against social media. I'm hearing of more conversations offline with people (myself included) deleting meta products and tiktok, surprisingly among the university generation. There is a movement towards using dumbphones.

I feel like social media has become the modern version of those ‘round robin’ letters that people would get pre-social media.

Ever since I was a child, my parents have been sent round robin letters at Christmas from their friends that are always full of details of their kids’/family’s achievements (and the lovely holidays they always seemed to go on!) I’d sometimes read them but stopped when I realised they were winding me up 😂

I didn't really (and still don’t) know the families who were sending these letters, so it felt like I was just reading letters from a stranger telling me all about their Children’s fantastic achievements and it often made me feel inadequate.

Also, I don’t like that whatever you put on social media stays on there forever, as it means we’re not really in control of whatever we put on there. And I’d also get worried that people would judge me - either publicly or silently 😂 - for being self-centred if I constantly put details of my kids’ achievements on social media.

Because of this, I wouldn’t put my kids’ achievements on social media. I don’t mind reading about other kids’ achievements though, as I’ve learned to stop if it gets too much haha.

Really? You forget how well your kids did in their exams / sports teams / school play?
you only do it for the reminder?

I like seeing the big news - first day at school, graduations etc

reports and grades - never seen that!

This and especially this re any form of SM
On FB anyone who doesn't care can ignore.
I don't understand why people get so angsty about other people's social media which as @BarbaraHoward has said you can ignore! Much harder to ignore face to face 'boasting'!

I sometimes wonder what people think the point of social media is. I use Facebook to keep in touch a bit with people I know but rarely or never see irl. I'm interested to see what they and their families are up to. Why else would I be on FB?

When my school friend who I haven't seen for 35 years posts a video of her amazingly talented son's ski jumps (possible future Olympic competitor), I love watching them and it wouldn't remotely occur to me to regard it as boasting.

I didn't post about my son's GCSE results this year, because imo it's a bit different when a whole cohort of kids are taking exams and you know that some people reading your post might have just had really disappointing results. I don't think there's anything wrong with a general and not too OTT post about it though.

So do you think that kids who did less well in their GCSEs simply didn’t work as hard as your DD?

Depends who has access to your online posts, mine are very limited in who can see them and in frequency.

I don't share these things. It's just not me. However, I don't mind parents that do and I'll always says "Well done"

Most people who boast on FB wouldn’t dream of doing it face to face.

I don't think that's what the poster was saying tbh. Obviously not everyone can get top GCSE results, however hard they work. Parents are proud of their child's hard work in achieving their potential, whatever that is.

Do you think that talking about your child's achievements at all, to anyone, is boasting? I hate this 'tall poppy' syndrome in the UK.

I subscribe to 'each to their own' for SM, tbh.

I love seeing friends’ posts about their children’s achievements, whether it’s sports, academics or anything else. It genuinely makes me happy to see how proud the kids are of themselves and the parents have a right to be proud of their children too. If we don’t brag about our kids, who will?

I think first day of school, graduation etc are fine actually and enjoy those- they are nice milestone markers.
Sharing exam results and school reports - no.

the older I get, the less I share on facebook. Want to protect my children's privacy. But when my daughter graduated from a top university with a first and I didn't post on facebook she asked me to! She asked why I hadn't told facebook about her graduation and told me to put up a post. So I did 🤣

I'll post about my DS sporting achievements.

I'm very happy for others who have children who achieve stuff and post - whether that's tests, exams or sports. Engagements, babies etc as they enter adulthood.

I think it's very odd that people don't celebrate others achievements and turn it into a competition - or rather competitiveness about who can post the least 😉

Doesn't matter if it's your 9yo saying their first word due to send or your 16yo getting 10 9's at GCSE.

Let's celebrate. Because if we don't what's the point of aiming to achieve?