For thinking of speaking to this school mum

[Stickler1]

Yesterday at pick up me and DS heard some boys from his class talking about the school choir that has just been set up. I think there was around 5/6 of them. We heard them saying how they weren’t going and one of them said “I’m not joining the choir because I’m not gay” then came the laughter of the rest of the group.

When we got into the car DS started crying. He said he wanted to join the choir but didn’t now after hearing those comments.

The boys are year 4 so 8/9 years old. I think this kind of talk at this age (or any age actually) is unacceptable. I know who the mum is of the boy who made the gay comment. I was so annoyed yesterday that I was thinking of having a little chat with her on Monday. WIBU to do this?

Speak to the school not the parent

Never a good idea to speak to other mums. If you want to do something, share what you overheard (homophobic language etc) with the school.

Yes it needs addressing in school.

Speak to the school. Never speak to the parent

Unless she’s a really close friend I wouldn’t!

Always go through the school

Always address issues through the school.

If she was a close friend, I would talk to her, however, if not, talk to the school.

Such a shame. I hope your DS still goes for the choir.

As pps said, speak to the school.

No. In your mind she does a little gasp of horror, apologises and says she'll speak to him.
In reality, she'll rear up, defend her son/dismiss you, then tell other people you're a loony.

He said all these boys are in the school football team and are the “popular” (his words) ones. Why is it that all these type of boys are the ones who act like this?

Agree speak to school not the mum.

My son is 8 and his auntie is gay, we've always spoken about auntie x being gay positively. Sad to know this still goes on in this day and age for little boys I thought the world had moved on massively from all that.

Speak to the teacher not the parent.

Yep the school needs to work on this properly.

Op in my dd school alot of the boys who play football are in the choir too ..they get biscuits if you join the choir. They are 8/9. As I said before talk to the school...let them deal with it

Definitely speak to the school.
I don't understand how football isn't seen as 'gay" by these same kids; there's always loads of hugging, kissing and leapng on each other in football.
(Do footballers all have the communal bath of the 70s and 80s?)
Also, the kids should know that there's nothing wrong with being gay either.

Speak to the school so they can put some directed education into place around this.

Speak to school, not the mum

Speak to both the school and the parent, perhaps letting the parent know you are raising this.

Exactly this. Always go through the school.

Some of the music that young people listen to is both misogynistic and homophobic.

I think I’ll talk to the school instead then. The thing is, and I think this has probably upset DS even more, is that he said he’s not in his “friendship group” and doesn’t hang around with him but they get along with each other.

This.

I don't understand how football isn't seen as 'gay" by these same kids

My son (9) was playing football in the park with some random kids last week and the one in goal was shouting "If you score a goal you're gay!"

Following on from my last post (posted too soon) he’s not bothered that he’s not in his friendship group, I think it just hurt even more because he’s always gotten along with said boy even though they are two completely different people