Not giving my kids money while at uni

[Seilla]

I have twins who are both going to uni this year, DD is going to Kings in London and DS to Newcastle.
I work as an administrator for the local council making about £24k, their dad isn't involved at all.He sees them maybe 2 times a year and moved away.
They are both get full student loans. DD this is £13,348, DS £10,227. DDs Accomodation is £169 per week and DS is £129 per week (DDs uni has an affordable Accomodation scheme she qualified for).

The maths tells me that DD will have £732 a month after rent (dividing the remaining loan by 9 months) and DS £563.
My parents just bought them both a MacBook for there 18th last week, I've got them new phone contracts which I will pay. They both just got over £1000 from there child trust funds and my parents have given them £500 each to get clothes and pots/pans.
They have both worked all through sixth form and have savings, DDs is at a little restaurant who have said they will have her back in the holidays. DS was at a shop so that is less likely.

AIBU to give them nothing more?
My parents think I should give them pocket money and I hear all there friends parents talking of contributions but I think they have loads with just that and getting jobs of their own?

Thank you, I'll let DD know about the Oyster card. She's in Stamford Street.

That's really convenient, she won't need to travel to her lectures as one block is opposite the Hall and most of the other main buildings are just over Waterloo Bridge.

With your financial circumstances I definitely dont think you should give them more. I might occasionally give them a bag of groceries or some toiletries or something but nothing regular or formal

We are not in London either and a 7 hour drive from the uni or a 70 min + drive to the nearest airport in traffic 🙂

Well done both getting in to University. I bet you're so proud.

Looking at the calculations they will have just enough to get by if they budget carefully. If they decide to get a part time job they'll have a little more disposable income & won't go without.

Most Universities have Hardship funding for students who may struggle financially. If they do find they can't cover basic living costs ask them to contact their Student Wellbeing departments & query what they may be eligible to apply for in regards to emergency loans or hardship awards.

If you can afford to give them a boost payment now & then or when they come home for holidays send them back with food parcels to save them on grocery bills. Stock up on toiletries for them, things like toilet rolls, toothpaste etc things 'kids' don't realise don't just appear in the bathroom like they do at home.

I didn't give DS money at uni. Tbh we got the household " stuff" he needed from people giving it away , bootsales and old bits from home.

He had worked since 16 and had quite a but of savings. He also had a car ( old banger) to run.

He's done 2 years now and managing perfectly fine. Just moved into a ( non student) flat with his girlfriend while he does the 3rd year.

Do other unis not have student villages? My ds was never in halls but spent year 1 and 2 living in the student village. Think he paid £113 a week last year but that's for 48 weeks And he stayed there throughout most of summer as was working in uni town. He didn't see the point of coming to stay at home to do nothing when his life is there

None of the 5 I applied to had student villages as the majority aren't campus unis. I went to Durham which is already full of college accommodation for first years and finalists plus townhouses housing different departments. I don't even know where you'd put another 3000 2nd years if not in the existing private rentals.

The village units are private rentals. They are not owned by the uni

My parents gave me diddly squat. I lived off free cup a soups gifted to me by a friend while I waited for my grant and loan. I was penniless.

Looking back now I should have been terrified. A new city at the other end of the country. No contact with my mum due to her abusive partner who had hit me and once shoved his hand up my skirt.. No contact with my dad who was completely unstable and emotionally abusive.

I wasn't scared though. I was free and happy despite being brassic. I think it was because my then boyfriend now DH was in the same city. I knew he would have my back if anything was badly wrong. I knew if I asked him to feed me he would, even though I hid how broke I was so he didnt feel he had to look after me. I can still remember him making me cream cheese and crisp sandwiches to this day.

That's the most important support, knowing that someone is there to catch you if you fall. Knowing you have a safety net.

You may not be able to help them financially, but having you as a supportive mum is worth so much. Often the things that are the most valuable can't be measured financially.

I'm from the student grant era, and they were means tested too with parents who earned enough expected to top up the grants. The students who struggled most were those with parents who didn't see why they should contribute.

I'm not saying they are. But they don't exist in some small university cities so you have to rent a terrace or 60s/70s semi for 52 weeks in your second year. There are no options for purpose built student flats with bills included.