Not giving my kids money while at uni

[Seilla]

I have twins who are both going to uni this year, DD is going to Kings in London and DS to Newcastle.
I work as an administrator for the local council making about £24k, their dad isn't involved at all.He sees them maybe 2 times a year and moved away.
They are both get full student loans. DD this is £13,348, DS £10,227. DDs Accomodation is £169 per week and DS is £129 per week (DDs uni has an affordable Accomodation scheme she qualified for).

The maths tells me that DD will have £732 a month after rent (dividing the remaining loan by 9 months) and DS £563.
My parents just bought them both a MacBook for there 18th last week, I've got them new phone contracts which I will pay. They both just got over £1000 from there child trust funds and my parents have given them £500 each to get clothes and pots/pans.
They have both worked all through sixth form and have savings, DDs is at a little restaurant who have said they will have her back in the holidays. DS was at a shop so that is less likely.

AIBU to give them nothing more?
My parents think I should give them pocket money and I hear all there friends parents talking of contributions but I think they have loads with just that and getting jobs of their own?

Also my son lives off way less than £200 a month, so your kids have loads if they’ve got all that after rent. They will be loaded for students trust me.

Sorry posted too quick. Just trying to say that evening things up now may not really be evening things up if you see what I mean.

When others say they are going to top up that's probably to make up to the full maintenance loan amount because they are subject to means testing and don't get it.

That's what I plan to do. Top up to the full maintenance loan amount but not beyond that. That's already a huge amount of money that I can only afford because of not having two at uni at once.

If I was in your situation and they were getting full loans then I would not give them any more. If I had anything to spare then I would continue to save for them eg by paying into a LISA.

Loads of term time work available in University towns and cities and they will likely have a few gaps in their schedule

That’s good. Mine started looking for 2nd year houses in about November (they’d barely arrived!) as all the good ones were going! We then had to find a month’s deposit to secure the house and then the rent had to be paid from 1st July all summer, so just because the halls cost isn’t a full year, be aware than you might have to start paying out for the second year sooner than you think.

I'm in a similar situation - DD will get just over £12k loan but her accommodation is £317 per week which means she will have absolutely nothing left at all. My DSis has offered her £100 per month but I can't really afford anything so DD will need to work

They'll be fine! They both have over £509 a month left after their rent is paid, that's plenty for food and other essentials. They can get a part time job if they need more than that. Parents are only expected to top up to the amount of the maximum loan. Yours are getting this because of the level of your income so no need for you to top up.

Yes that was a surprise to most parents in the WIWIKAU group, they needed deposit for year 2 by November / December of term 1 (year 1)

Gosh £317!! Which uni is that?
I was glad DD qualified for the affordable accommodation scheme or else we were looking at £215 and even that seemed crazy to me!

The parents you’ll be hearing about who contribute which be those whose teens haven’t got full loans and are expected to top up so don’t worry.
HOWEVER second on ongoing years are more expensive. Private rents are often 51/52 weeks and not 40 like student halls. The landlords want deposits waaay advance. So any money you do have spare this year pop to oneside for next year & the ones following and suggest they do similar.
Well done to the pair of them!

YNBU. If one of them is struggling and comes to you at a later stage then perhaps you can re-assess. But as a plan at the outset, it’s completely reasonable and well thought-out.

Sounds fine to me - and I speak as one who pays 8000 a year for dd's rent (very painful...) while she lives on minimum loan (all year, including summer - I don't give anything more than the rent). But that is less than your kids will have per month (or is that not counting summer? - still looks OK) so if I were you I wouldn't be jumping to pay more either. They can top up with summer work.

Look at young person coach card as well as railcard... Massively cheaper.. dc used coach more to come home as easier to bring laundry and also good timings

Yep! Very painful when you have two!

Paying two lots of rent for two empty houses all summer was most upsetting as well 😂

Yes
The second year is more expensive. Accommodation has to be paid from July to September when the student isn’t even in the accommodation. When you add the deposit it can be very pricey.
My dd’s deposit is £900

YANBU at all. All of my dc perceived that people who were on a Full loan were generally the ones with the most money.

As long as you work out what you will do in the holidays. They will be fine in term time. If they want to spend more, then they have the option to work to earn more. You don't have the capacity to send them "spending money".

DD is London, we live in North Cumbria, for DS it's 2 trains, but not super expensive. DD is London and it's the Avanti mainline she will need which I think can be quite expensive.

Although coming out of London, she can get the Megabus for a pittance. Even if it were not the full journey, it saves SO much money over getting the train. 2 of my dc used it and saved serious £££. In truth any coach company will save you money over trains. Even if she got it as far as Bham or Manchester and then needed to get the train.

Sounds like they have plenty of money. When DH and I were at uni we both had to work throughout despite our student loans etc. Our parents never gave us money.
Nowadays parents are expected to ‘top up’ the loans and/or give their kids pocket money. It’s ridiculous.
I work in a university and less than 20% of the students work these days. When I was there I would have said less than 20% didn’t work. Seems we’re just expected to subsidise our children forever when most adults I know are struggling themselves

It’s such an unfair system. My twins get minimum loans. The threshold is low. All we can afford is £300 each and it’s going to break us. They are both ND so work hasn’t been possible, they have to self study extra hours alongside lectures.

Can I just say they/you sound like they/you have done a marvellous job so far? They sound super organised and on it and those are great universities.

Definitely apply for hardship funds and apply early on. My university, which was very affluent, had a huge excess of HF at one point! The administrator who was so kind talked me through all the things I could claim hardship for as I was mortified - toiletries, clothing myself, food, travel costs. Not that the fund grant covered this all, it just made a contribution to funds.

Babysitting would be an amazing option if she had any experience with kids.

Look at the Megabus. Random date, London to Carlisle is £14 one way.

https://uk.megabus.com/journey-planner/journeys?days=1&concessionCount=0&departureDate=2024-11-01&destinationId=56&inboundOtherDisabilityCount=0&inboundPcaCount=0&inboundWheelchairSeated=0&nusCount=0&originId=21&otherDisabilityCount=0&pcaCount=0&totalPassengers=1&wheelchairSeated=0&sc=null

You can only give what you can afford and they are not without so I would try not to stress about it. It sounds like you've raised 2 sensible young people so I'm sure they'll also look for additional work if they are able to/need to.

I would recommend looking at coach travel over train - national express do a young person's card and it can work out much cheaper than train. It may take a bit longer but as a student you tend to be time rich, cash poor so it's a good compromise. Maybe you could buy them a card each for the year and see if they get value from it.

@Seilla one way of cutting travel costs is to go by coach rather than train. They're very comfortable these days with toilets on board, too.

It sounds like they have everything they need!

You want to give everything you can, but if you can't afford anything else then they'll still be ok. A part of living out for uni is learning how to budget. I went to uni on minimal loans (the system really is unfair) and worked the whole way through to manage.

It's very healthy and will halve her risk of ovarian cancer if she carries on for 10y

You'll have financial issues once DD goes into private housing after halls because that's very expensive in London