Not giving my kids money while at uni

[Seilla]

I have twins who are both going to uni this year, DD is going to Kings in London and DS to Newcastle.
I work as an administrator for the local council making about £24k, their dad isn't involved at all.He sees them maybe 2 times a year and moved away.
They are both get full student loans. DD this is £13,348, DS £10,227. DDs Accomodation is £169 per week and DS is £129 per week (DDs uni has an affordable Accomodation scheme she qualified for).

The maths tells me that DD will have £732 a month after rent (dividing the remaining loan by 9 months) and DS £563.
My parents just bought them both a MacBook for there 18th last week, I've got them new phone contracts which I will pay. They both just got over £1000 from there child trust funds and my parents have given them £500 each to get clothes and pots/pans.
They have both worked all through sixth form and have savings, DDs is at a little restaurant who have said they will have her back in the holidays. DS was at a shop so that is less likely.

AIBU to give them nothing more?
My parents think I should give them pocket money and I hear all there friends parents talking of contributions but I think they have loads with just that and getting jobs of their own?

I only contributed monthly, once they had part time, term time jobs themselves. ( except for a few weeks grace at the start of uni).

I don't think you need to worry. My son is at uni and gets minimum loan, which we top up to the equivalent of the maximum loan (as advised by Martin Lewis) so he effectively has the same as your kids. He's actually ended up quite comfortably off through being sensible with budgeting and going for the second cheapest accommodation option.

It's tempting to give him less this year but I won't because firstly we are lucky enough to afford it and secondly I don't want to punish him for being prudent!

London will be tighter but the bursaries other posters have mentioned will help.

£732 is more than what I currently have left over after rent and bills, and I do fine. God as a student I’m sure I lived off about £25/30 a week and did absolutely fine (only a few years ago too).

I gave £100 per month each which was basically their pocket money. Their maintenance loan cover accommodation (just) and they worked to top income up

My dd is just going into her 3rd year. I’m a single parent with no income (carer for disabled dd) so I can’t afford to top up dd1’s loan. She lives pretty frugally, doesn’t drink or go out much. It is doable. If they want more money they can find a part time job.

I wasn't able to so I didn't - they were all fine.

Will they also get a bursary?

Sounds to me as if you're no better off than your student DC, all things considered. I think they'll do just fine on their loans, and they can work if they feel they need more.

Save your money for the holidays. If they struggle to get jobs, you might need to feed them with no contributions from them, at least for a bit (I know you said DD’s job would have her back but that’s not a guarantee).

Think about trains as well - if they want to come home for Xmas or for a weekend in term time, they could be looking at £100s in rail fares. They might need your help then.

As far as term time goes, they’ll be fine. They can look for jobs, live on pasta, shop secondhand. Most of us did that.

If it's the same pill as mine is on then yes completely safe. We discussed it with the Dr because she has hormonal issues and bad periods. On the actual question you asked.. I went to uni and never expected anything from my parents. I worked to pay off my interest free overdraft during the holidays (shelf stacking and food delivery). However when I went back home at end of term, mum and dad paid for my food whilst I was back there and would occasionally give me a tenner, or dad would buy a crate of beers for me and my housemates to share. As long as you treat them equally then I can't see the problem.

My 3rd is at Uni now...I am a single parent on a low income and mine have managed fine without any help from me...they all worked in the holidays etc.

£732 is a massive amount per month left after rent! That's what £180 a week for one person??

We only qualify for the basic, so have to pay a good chunk towards accomodation. They've saved and have about £100 per week for food and other outgoings as we can't pay this aswell - £100 is still a lot.

They had to choose cheaper unis, London wasn't an option because of the accomodation costs, DD in particular would have loved London.
Not quite sure what I'm reading...new macbooks too 🤣 We bought second hand laptops from CEX.

That’s an insane amount for a student. I’d be encouraging them to save as much as possible of that amount which is more than most have to live on, as they’ll have to pay it back one day.
Dd gets minimum loan of £4000 or whatever to live off, which is £333 over 12 months and dh and I pay her rent. She works during holidays. That’s it.

(Just wanted to congratulate you on raising two kids who you have sent to uni. Couldn’t have been easy without much input from their father. They seem like great kids and have worked to save some money whilst studying.)

Yes, it is on that assumption, but the maths is based on years ago and hasn’t kept up with the actual cost of living. The students on the full loan, who come from the poorest families, aren’t able to cover all of their basic costs. So they pretty much all need jobs.

If you were saying you weren't giving them anything because you've spent all your money on gigalos or round the world cruises that might be an issue, but if you haven't got it to give then of course YANBU.

400 years ago when I went me and dsis got taken for a big shop at the start of each term and money for a return train ticket. Oh and our lovely Granny would always send us phone cards (remember them?!).

You have made me so grateful that my 3 got full grants! Us oldies should realise how lucky we were. OP good luck to your two!

We know Wales has a much fairer system but unfortunately the OPs teens aren’t from Wales.

I don't parent by committee but I don't feel that isn't great.

I pay for my dc food and their phone bill and I have two at uni. Plus I paid for all their stuff to get set up for going.

Mine get full maintenance and two lots of extra money as well btw.

I always thought that struggling at uni was almost a rite of passage.
My daily diet at uni consisted of jacket potatoes, cheese, tuna and baked beans.
These days the students expect to have a more luxurious student experience

@Seilla make sure she gets a young person's Railcard.

She also needs to get wise with train booking. 12 weeks ahead is best. She'll get a much better deal with some planning.

My DD is going to London- she only qualified for the minimum loan and this only covers half of her accommodation costs. We can't afford to give her as much as your DD will have to live on in London. She's hoping to live on about £500 a month.

They should be fine with max loan and may also be eligible for a bursary from Uni in addition to this.

we also have twins at uni and dont fibe them anything. they work evenings and have their loans.

Totally case by case based on what you can afford. My parents did fund me through it, others of friends did not. Do what you can afford within reason. Don’t feel bad for not giving more than you think is necessary — they do have maintenance loan to help. You can only do so much!

If you can't afford it, you can't afford it.
When they start if payments of rent and deposits leave them without enough for basic needs, they should go to the uni to ask about availability of hardship funds and loans.