For putting my foot down about DM's dog

[OhMyGodAChicken]

I'll preface this post by saying I'm not really a dog person. I like them well enough, grew up with them, and fuss on friends' pets, but I don't want one for myself. DM is convinced I hate dogs, most especially hers.

The latest situation culminated in her sloping off home from ours, where she's been staying (with dog), last night in a huff.

DM's life centres on this dog. She lives alone with him and he provides her with company and a reason to get out and about to meet people.

However, there's a list of his "requirements" (not sure how many are real, how many have been created by DM, and how many are just DM's claims) that makes it really hard work having him to stay with her - or actually doing anything much.

• He will only eat rotisserie chicken from the supermarket. It has to be served on the floor as he's "scared" of dishes.

• Likewise, he will only drink water from a glass, and it has to be refreshed three times a day. I've seen him gobble up cat food and water from my pets' dishes, and he eats literal shit when out on walks.

• He has to sleep in the bed with DM, so any bedding I put on the guest bed, I have to be happy for the dog to sleep in.

• He doesn't like the car and "can't be left", so any outings have to be short and/or near to DM's, and dog-friendly venues.

• He regularly humps cushions and blankets for 15-20 minutes. After he did it to my sofa cushions, DM brings a blanket he's allowed to hump. She advises my DD not to sit on it in case there's ejaculate on it.

• He licks everything. EVERYTHING. "He's just a licker" - we're talking aggressive licking and slurping carpets, sofas, cushions, DD, the kitchen floor, any furniture he can reach. DM lets him lick between her fingers and toes for 15 minutes at a time.

• He drags his arse along the carpet regularly - "He's clean, he just has allergies and needs to itch."

The problem I'm having is that DM is at the point where she feels it's unfair for her dog to have to change any routines/behaviours when he's here. She locks my cats in the lounge because he chases them, serves his meals on the kitchen floor, allows him to chew and lick anything he pleases, and gets extremely defensive and angry if DD or I tell him to stop.

Yday evening, I was getting to my wit's end with it. He'd chased the cats twice, wouldn't stop licking anything and everything, and was dragging his arse across the lounge floor.

Any look or comment was met with barely contained fury by DM, who eventually (because I'd literally turned my head to look at what the slurping noise in the middle of the kitchen floor was) said "Fine, if you won't stop going on about it, I'll take him home - come on, [DDog]."

I pointed out that I didn't think it was unreasonable to not want him licking everything or scraping his literal arsehole across the carpet repeatedly, but she's in a major huff now and has said she no longer feels comfortable at my home.

AIBU? Are these normal dog behaviours people tolerate in their houses? Is this just to be expected/accepted when a relative comes to stay and won't leave their dog with someone else?

I'm feeling hurt and defensive that DM has prioritised the dog over me and DD (as it feels to me) but she's obviously hurt too. Would welcome any outside perspectives on this.

That's an awful diet, rotisserie chicken must surely be far too high in salt for a dog?

In your own house maybe but not when staying with someone else.
I wouldn't want a dog staying in one of my beds
OP it all sounds disgusting. I sort of can understand your mum seeing the dog as her companion and defending him but no one else should have to put up with that.
Also it sounds as though the dog isn't neutered.

Your mother may feel she loves him however, from what you've described she is actually an atrocious owner.

Sorry but she shouldn't have a dog if she can't look after him properly And I don't pander to sulky adults, they are pathetic and give me the ick.

I wouldn't have the dog in my home ever again.

The only part of that I don't have an issue with is sleeping in the bed - for the rest she needs a vet and a trainer.

Your mothers behaviour is hilarious, she is literally barking mad 😂

I have a dog and yes, she does sleep with us, didn't always but a couple of years ago we had a huge trauma in our lives and she brings us comfort plus she is nearly 12.

Does DM worm and flea the dog?
Sounds like his anal glands need emptying, any vet or groomer (if he goes) will do this.
The rotisserie chicken thing - his farts must stink, this is an awful diet.
The humping and licking - this needs to be stopped - your DM is enabling this to happen - unless her behaviour changes towards to the dog, then he is just going to carry on.

I feel sorry for the dog.

Humping is behavioural not sexual - I have a bitch who humps things when she's overexcited.

i have a little sympathy for DM, I also live alone with my dog and she's my companion and friend, not 'just' a dog. But it does sound as though this dog is being spoiled and not properly looked after. Dogs need mental stimulus, they need to hear the word 'no' and they need proper care. If your DM isn't careful, she's going to spoil this dog into a very short life - rotisserie chicken? Most dogs eat ANYTHING that's not been nailed to the floor... Does the poor bugger ever get out for a really good run with other dogs?

I have never in my life not owned at least one dog. I am a dog person. That is fucking vile in every way.

Ban the dog from the house. I'd have absolutely none of that shit from either of them. All those behaviours can be prevented or stopped. Allowing him to lick hands and feel for 15 minutes would make me sick, I don't let my dogs lick me at all.

Whipping it's arse on the carpet is also fucking disgusting. The jizz rag.. omfg. Is it not neutered? It should be as she clearly has no idea how to deal with an unaltered male dog.

I'd send both the vile animals out of my house permanently.

Grim
I have dogs and don't have any of those issues. Mine are lived and have freedom of the house but understand no means no, especially in someone else home or company
You DM is being utterly ridiculous

My dog had those symptoms and he had prostate trouble so I'd say she's not being a good owner if he hasn't been checked out by the vet....and I loved my dogs but I'd say your house your rules and better for you to be visiting her.

The hell if I'd have that dog in my house and I have a dog in my house. That is disgusting and vile and all your miles fault.

I'm sorry but you can't seriously believe this load of dog's bollocks made up ballony about the dog's needs. Now I've stopped laughing - it was the rotiserie chicken that did it, you know this it complete claptrap.
Your dm has made a rod for her own back. And the dog is laughing all the way to the oven door.
I'm an avoid dog owner and lover of 35 years and all those "Dog Needs" are bollocks seriously.
Hope that helps

He sounds a thoroughly revolting dog that I would struggle to tolerate as a house guest. I've 2 dogs of my own who I think are wonderful but they're not perfect by any means. The licking, humping and scooting would drive me insane!

Regardless of anything else, your responsibility is your cats. They shouldn't be restricted to certain areas in their own home and things may escalate.

I wouldn't be letting him in my house. The dog sounds in serious need of training and vet care to sort out his issues

does the dog get enough exercise? It sounds like a really good run and sniff would help. A couple of hours, and cut out chicken. Maybe a raw diet would help with anal glands if that’s the issue.

Humping and licking could be signs of unhappiness - licking can be anxiety and humping can be over excitement, overwhelmed or pent up energy. Can you go and knacker the dog out one afternoon, give it a chew and then see if some of this behaviour rights itself?

The dogs diet is probably the cause of half its issues and your DM the cause of the other half.

rubbish diet, no training, no socialising the dog is probably bored senseless which is causing the licking & humping.

it would not be in my house with that behaviour. It is an overindulged fur baby right now, not a dog.

Same. I also have 2 dogs but there are limits!

@OhMyGodAChicken

I LOVE dogs, I am happy to have them come to stay. I dog sit in their homes.

I would NOT be having hers to stay until she gets things sorted.

how old is your Mum? The dog? Is it a Frenchie? Tell her you want her to stay, but not until she gets things sorted with Dog!!

one client was giving her dog chicken with his dry biscuits as she thought it was good for him, the vet said to stop as it wasn't. And that was boiled chicken, I think the vet would have had a lot more to say if it had been rotisserie!!

I would insist on taking her & the dog to the vets & get them to check anal glands, general health & excessive face rubbing.

i would insist she gets in a trainer & trains him to leave the cats alone, learn the command 'off' (especially in relation to humping DD). & sort out his resource guarding

insist he eats/drinks from bowls. He does as he pinches your cats! He's a dog, he won't let a bowl stop him eating food!

Sleeping in the bed wouldn't bother me. I'd just keep a bedding set for Mum & Dog and use other sets for other guests I'd also use 2 mattress protectors for mum & Dog & a different one for other guests

in essence just INSIST they both obey YOUR house rules.

Admittedly I’m not a dog person but most of what you’ve written sounds fucking disgusting!🤮
I wouldn’t have the dog in my house end of… in fact I wouldn’t want to visit your mothers house either!

This dog is not a happy dog either op, they are like toddlers they need boundaries and structure to be content.

If you care at all about the welfare of him ( his gross behaviour isn't his fault ) then you need to have a really frank and stern conversation with your mother.

I have my own smelly dog and that is beyond grim.

She was trained out of her licking and is allowed on (covered) beds but not in them.
🤢🤮

She's an appalling dog owner!

I understands she loves him, but his diet, the nonsense about water glasses, the butt-dragging, the unsocialised behaviour... oh dear god NO.

She needs to give him a vet-approved diet, have his anal glands looked at, taken to behaviour classes and daycare to learn socialising and then the endless licking and humping might stop.

There's no way I'd let a dog like that in my house.

Im a dog person, we have 2 but in your shoes op, id also be thinking the same things.

Good grief. Hell would freeze over before I let this Verruca Salt of the dog world back into my house ever again.

Your poor cats, and DD, having to put up with this.

I was wondering if he is a Frenchie, or a pug.

He definitely needs his anal glands sorted, the poor dog will be absolutely miserable, and hideously uncomfortable.

He also needs worming, and to be checked for skin allergies, and his diet discussed while he is there.

Just like a child, a dog given no boundaries, and all that it wants, with no regards for what it needs, is likely to be a miserable, uncomfortable, confused, and potentially cross and aggressive, little being.

Thanks all for your frank and helpful comments. Will give my head a wobble (now I know I'm not basically Cruella De Vil), pull up my big girl pants and tell DM to get DDog sorted or leave him home.