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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you go nc with your parents for this

609 replies

giantcolouringbook · 01/09/2024 10:11

I am 23(f) and work f/t my company have been offering compresses hours which I have happily accepted bearing in mind I get paid the same and do the same hours but an extra day off plus weekends.
I excitedly told my parents this and they are furious saying that I should have discussed it with them first as it affects them too.
They've also said if I'm going to be home an extra day of in the week I need to do something with it and not just hang around the house.
My dad is retired and spends every day hanging around the house doing nothing.
Aibu to think a) this has nothing to do with them and b) I shouldn't be told to go out and do something when I am looking forward to an extra down day at home doing exactly what my dad does?
I am of course looking to move out asap but would you think there was any coming back from this or should I just move on never look back.

OP posts:
LadyKenya · 01/09/2024 10:12

A bit of an extreme reaction, don't you think?

Original poster
giantcolouringbook · 01/09/2024 10:13

LadyKenya · 01/09/2024 10:12

A bit of an extreme reaction, don't you think?

From him or me?

OP posts:
LadyKenya · 01/09/2024 10:13

You.

HoppityBun · 01/09/2024 10:14

Definitely move out and what you do in your spare time is up to you. But to banish them from your entire life for the rest of theirs is melodramatic. You’d regret it. Just make your own life.

TheClawDecides · 01/09/2024 10:14

How would going NC work when you live in their house?

Bit extreme from both them and you really, unless there's a backstory.

Woollypullover · 01/09/2024 10:14

Don't go nc just move out. I would have hated to have lived with my parents at the age of 23.

Namechangejustincase24 · 01/09/2024 10:14

Sounds like they are giving you the hint that you should be moved out.

millymollymoomoo · 01/09/2024 10:15

Complete over reaction from you

But of course feel free to
move out and live independently

TheRozzers · 01/09/2024 10:15

Sounds like it's time to move out.

I don't see how you can go NC while still living with them 🤷‍♀️

Maybe they have their swingers club when you are at work.

GabriellaMontez · 01/09/2024 10:15

Not very nice of them. But a totally extreme reaction from you.

PaloAvo · 01/09/2024 10:15

Wow what on earth? Cut contact with your actual parents for the rest of your life over a minor disagreement?
I do think it's weird they won't let you enjoy a day at home but end of the day it's their house, maybe use the day to hunt for a rental asap

TwinklyRoseTurtle · 01/09/2024 10:15

Agree with others, they sound like they want you to move out

DeCaray · 01/09/2024 10:15

How awful.

Are they worried you will use up more food/electricity etc on your day off? It's taking pennypinching to the extreme if so.

Why do they begrudge you so much?

I'd be over the moon for my daughter at having a day off.

Min133 · 01/09/2024 10:16

Their reaction is unreasonable but not something I would go NC for as an isolated incident

Umpteentimesnow · 01/09/2024 10:16

Can't really be serious that you'll go no contact over this? Also you live in their house, it is pretty much impossible to achieve.

Lottie2shoes · 01/09/2024 10:16

I do not think you should go NC unless there is a back story.
They probably expected you to have moved on by now so they could have their personal slave to themselves.
Understandably though it is harder to move out although not impossible.
Maybe it is time for you to move on, respect their wishes, while leaving with an OK feeling that you did not overstay your welcome.

When did you plan to move out?

Tragicmun · 01/09/2024 10:16

Your dad is allowed to hang around his own house doing nothing!

Kitkat1523 · 01/09/2024 10:17

So just move out….you’re 23 ….your parents just wanting a bit of piece

doyoulikemyyams · 01/09/2024 10:17

This has got to be a reverse.

If not, take a minute and think how utterly insulting this is to those of us who are actually NC with parents, after enduring years of abuse, the heartache and grief of trying to make things work, and dealing with the judgment of people who say "NC is just spoiled kids who throw their toys out of the pram because they're not getting their own way".

If this isn't a reverse, the judgment we have to live with is because of comments and behaviour like yours.

Don't ever use NC as a throwaway threat or manipulation tactic – no matter how annoyed you are. Shame on you.

TimeForTeaAndG · 01/09/2024 10:17

Do they understand compressed hours? Do they think you've gone part time and won't be able to contribute as much (assuming you do actually pay some form of rent/cover your own food etc).

Unless there is some massive backstory I can't see why you would jump straight to cutting them out of your life. Find a flat share or something if it means you can move out sooner.

Snowdrops17 · 01/09/2024 10:17

Why is your first reaction to leave and not look back after a slight disagreement is there more to it ? I mean obviously the best think would be to move out but also it is your parents house and you are an adult so they are entitled to a say . Do you help around the house , cleaning , tidying ?

Betyouthinkthissongisaboutyou · 01/09/2024 10:18

23 move out asap. No drama.

McLeodIsPronouncedMcloud · 01/09/2024 10:18

Perhaps they value time on their own?

I have dc similar age to you who still live at home, there’s still a parent/child dynamic that I’m looking forward to not living in.

exprecis · 01/09/2024 10:19

I think it's a strain for them living with you - not everyone loves living with adult children. It's different to living with children you're in charge of, totally different dynamic.

Hearing that you'll be hanging round the house another day just was too much.

I would move out or if you really can't try and be out a lot more to give them some space.

OhWell45 · 01/09/2024 10:19

You sound like you have teenage angst TBH. You have no idea what they do in the day or how you being home will impact them. You are in their home and your choices do impact them. You need to move out. You will find you get on better.