Would you go nc with your parents for this

[giantcolouringbook]

I am 23(f) and work f/t my company have been offering compresses hours which I have happily accepted bearing in mind I get paid the same and do the same hours but an extra day off plus weekends.
I excitedly told my parents this and they are furious saying that I should have discussed it with them first as it affects them too.
They've also said if I'm going to be home an extra day of in the week I need to do something with it and not just hang around the house.
My dad is retired and spends every day hanging around the house doing nothing.
Aibu to think a) this has nothing to do with them and b) I shouldn't be told to go out and do something when I am looking forward to an extra down day at home doing exactly what my dad does?
I am of course looking to move out asap but would you think there was any coming back from this or should I just move on never look back.

Why is him not leaving the house considered a bad thing (by you) whereas you not having anywhere to go (and, thus, not leaving the house) just an expected thing? The fact that he doesn't leave the house is why your presence makes a difference (if he was out all day, he wouldn't notice that you were there).

Your dad sounds like a boring old fart. He has 5 days at home to himself. I love having the house to myself but I don't begrudge my own family being at home.

I would make plans to move out ASAP. I wouldn't go nc but I wouldn't be making a big effort to visit/contact them either.

Agree with everyone else - silly and childish reaction. I also have to say I can see your dad's point about enjoying his own space during the day. He is entitled to that - it is his house and he is retired. Having someone else in that space can be annoying.

Also, are you considerate to live with? Do you tidy up, cook for your parents sometimes, help with cleaning the house etc?

Wow!

So they brought you up, you live in their house and you want to go NC with them?

Yes, it’s does impact them. The difference between your dad hanging around the house and you hanging around it, is that it’s their house. They are doing you a favour by letting you stay.

If you want to be able to do what you want without thinking of the impact on other people, move out.

Because you are still in the house….i completly get your Dad …..just move out and give them some time to theirselves….you are 23 , you work….time to go

Surely you can just say, actually I've taken on another project that I'll be working on from home on that day. It means you'd need to still keep out of their way but at least they won't resent you being in your room surely?
Definitely try and move out soon. Can you go in with a mate on a rental flat?
Your parents clearly want their own space which is fair enough. Not very kind but it's their right I suppose.

You've got a lot of growing up to do if you really think this is a reason to a NC with your parents.

They want you to move out. Your Dad has the right to have peace and quiet in his retirement.

I think if you move out and start living in the real world, you'll find that pretty minor things stop being major dramatic events in your head.

I don’t think that it’s worth to go NC over this. You are overreacting.
Your parent’s reaction wasn’t nice but maybe they think that you are using them too much, so general hostility’s built up a bit?

Looking forward to the day OP has kids and understands the responses on here 😂

Presumably your children are young?

so a completely different situation, then?

Whilst I agree that the op should move out and find her own place, I think the responses here are harsh.
Focpeoplecrealise just how expensive properties are. Even rent us extortionate. It’s very difficult to afford somewhere on your own.
I certainly would not speak to my dcs like that. Fair enough I’d expect them to pull their weight, but I certainly would not be telling them they had to get out of the house on there day off, or spend 6 hours doing housework.

Explain to them that you won't be around more hours, just different ones. Maybe a couple of hours a week more if your lunchtimes have got squashed, but no more than that.

Going NC would be a ridiculous reaction, but you moving out would suit everyone and only improve your relationship with them.

How do you plan to go no contact when you are living in their house?
Your retired father can do whatever he likes in his own home, I'm guessing he worked hard for many years to pay for the home you are living in.
You have some growing up to do.

So how many of your adult children still live at home?

Deal with it like a grown up and talk to your parents rather than storming off to your room like a stroppy teen.

Both being dramatic. I can understand they don't want you hanging around all the time, but they don't need to be "furious". But it definitely doesn't warrant going NC. If you want the freedom to do what you want, you need to move out, otherwise you respect their house their rules.

As someone who has gone nc with a parent, I'd say going nc for this is an extreme reaction.

My thoughts are.

I wonder if this level fo 'drama' is something they tolerate but have grown tired of (I don't think considering going nc over this is a proportionate response. Perhaps they have to deal with a number of disproportionate responses.

Your dad is retired and can spend his time as he wishes. It doesn't matter if anyone else thinks he's hypocritical or dull or lazy or boring. It's his house and he can do what he likes in it.

My son is 25. He moved out about 2 years go because he was a young, inexperienced but know-it-all adult. It became tiring after a while.

If they are retired, they probably didn't imagine still having a child living at home into their retirement. They are being decent by allowing you to live there but you are now a guest in their home rather than their responsibility and it sounds like it's rime for you to go if tensions are rising to preserve the relationship you have.

It’s their house -maybe that day they like to waft around the house naked, as is their right.

Their house their rules.

Find some volunteering work or a college course or a hobby on your extra day off - surely that’s the point of compressed hours anyway ? Otherwise it’s just wasted.

I think moving out is the best way forward.
It sounds like they think it's time for you to fly the nest - although they could have been more subtle about it than oh fuck no you're going to be at home even more? Jesus no. Find something else to do!!

Anything that you interpret as being the above is of course going to hurt.

Find your own place. A room in a shared house. It's doable. Build a new relationship with them as an independent adult.

You clearly are feeling hurt and I can see why. But they obviously find it harder having you still living at home than you realise. Do you clean? Cook? Garden? Contribute to the bills? Do you buy them dinner once a month to show your gratitude? Think carefully about how you behave at home. Are you acting like an adult or still being their child?

When you’re in the house, your Dad has to necessarily inhabit the ‘Dad’ part of himself. Whereas when you’re not present, he gets to be any other part of himself that arises that day. He finds it relaxing to be those parts and less relaxing (as a great many people do) being the parent part.

No need to quote anyone @LindorDoubleChoc

So what if the thread is very long....

Don't go on the premium bond thread, as the OP is incredibly long and I bet you wouldn't like it.

Just move out

a non-issue!

how do you propose to go NC with people you live?