Would you go nc with your parents for this

[giantcolouringbook]

I am 23(f) and work f/t my company have been offering compresses hours which I have happily accepted bearing in mind I get paid the same and do the same hours but an extra day off plus weekends.
I excitedly told my parents this and they are furious saying that I should have discussed it with them first as it affects them too.
They've also said if I'm going to be home an extra day of in the week I need to do something with it and not just hang around the house.
My dad is retired and spends every day hanging around the house doing nothing.
Aibu to think a) this has nothing to do with them and b) I shouldn't be told to go out and do something when I am looking forward to an extra down day at home doing exactly what my dad does?
I am of course looking to move out asap but would you think there was any coming back from this or should I just move on never look back.

Oh fuck off! This has to be a wind up!

If not, then you need to do some serious growing up!

How sre you planning on going no contact when you live in their house? 🤣🤣

That was meant to be personal space not slave!

They probably just want some peace and quiet in their twilight years …..OP is 23 ….my 3 were all well gone at that age…..im 59 and work part time ….I love my days where I ‘have nothing to do and all day to do it in’ …..the delivery from the Dad probably came across quite badly but if OP is going to go NC for this I think she may have some regrets down the line

Complete over reaction from you.

Take the hint. Your dad wasn’t particularly kind but he clearly is struggling with you living at home. You are an adult and they want their privacy- which is reasonable really. They’ve agreed to you living at home this long presumably to help you save? And having you under foot for 3 full days a week is too much.

How can you go nc with people you live with? Particularly when, I assume, it is their home and they are choosing (generously) to let you live there as an adult? I don't see how that would work practicality and if I were the parent in this situation I would see it as incredibly rude - most likely resulting in my insisting you leave.

On the actual issue you mention: I agree that it sounds unreasonable for your parents to try to interfere with your work schedule. There is nothing wrong inherently with flexible hours for the same money and I'm glad you've been offered this if it is what you want.

I am, however, curious about why your parents have had this reaction. Do they find it tense or uncomfortable when you are in the house for any reason? Do they value their privacy and space and feel you are intruding? Do they have a problem with how much you currently contribute to household tasks and this resentment is just leaking out now?

It might be that they're making a really unfair judgement (it almost sounds like they're treating you as a child and accusing you of being lazy for having an extra day a week off, which is a misunderstanding of how flexible hours work!). Then again, it might be they have valid reasons to be worried. I say this as someone who lived in my parents' home as a working adult for a fair few years - we got on well most of the time but sometimes I drove them mad (left too much mess without clearing it up fast enough; was a bit thoughtless generally; hogged the tv too much). We were able to resolve it but I still feel bad about it now. I doubt they would have been too chuffed if I'd wanted to spend even more time hanging around the house and I wouldn't have blamed them!

As PP have said; how can you go NC with them while you're living in their house?

Move out asap, sounds like they're fed up. You'll be happier with your own independence.

Hang on, yes it does have quite a lot to do with them if you’re living there. Perhaps they have had enough of you being at home and you being there a full day in the week as well as weekends and evenings might be the straw that breaks the camel’s back.

Also comparing your situation to your Dad’s is completely wrong, he’s presumably had a full working career before he retired plus it’s his (and your mum’s) house.

If you want them to back off and have complete autonomy over all of your decisions then you need to move out.

Bit weird that they're furious but it looks like it's time for you to move out OP.

You're over reacting.

It's not nice but it's certainly not something worth cutting contact over.

The explanation given was dad likes his peace and quiet in the day but he spends all day just watching tv and pottering in the garden so how is me having an extra day off going to effect his life especially as he barely leaves the house and I don't have anywhere to go all day.

Nothing screams unwelcome more than hearing the horror of your daughter being around a bit more though.

Grow up and move out, not necessarily in that order

@Izzosaura - there is no need to quote the opening post before you reply. It is assumed your post is addressed to the OP. Imagine how long the thread would be if everyone quoted the full opening post before replying!

Just move out and live independently…🤷‍♀️

You don’t need to estrange them - that’s a complete over-reaction.

This is giving me huge lols.

Definitely time to move out OP. It's everything to do with your parents if you live in their house.

Have you read the advice that’s been given to you on here? Because this response suggests that you haven’t

So a possible thought from their perspective....they are happy having you live with them while you go out to work daily. What they do in the time you're not there has no impact on you and is none of your business. They are happy with the arrangement as they see it, are perhaps more protective of that time than you realise. You are a grown adult living in their space which can be alot for some people.
I presume you contribute to your cost of living, do they realise your input won't be affected?
I agree with pp that it's a sign to plan a move out. If your instinctive reaction to them disagreeing with a change to your lifestyle is to cut your parents out of your life I think you getting out in the world more and being wholly independent can only be of help to you.

Get a house share if can't afford your own place.

I would be hurt too tbh. My adult dcs are always welcome here.

Just say oh sorry I didn't think you'd mind. Smile sweetly and forget about it. Going NC for that is ridiculous.

Why are you still living at home at 23 in full time work?

Going NC over this is such an egotistical way to live your life.

They want you to move out clearly.

Also you can't exactly go no contact when living with them?

Do you have many friends?

I'm also interested to hear the backstory here.

How much do you contribute (not necessarily financially) to the household? Do you pull your weight with cooking, cleaning, household jobs? Do you and your parents live together like adults, or are you still very much a child in the relationship?

Your first thought was to spend your extra day off lounging around the house, is that your go to at evenings and weekends already?

Going NC is a massive overreaction and does suggest some immaturity tbh

Because having another person around, especially one who you’ve been responsible for for years, and possibly can’t quite relax around, is intrusive and slightly uncomfortable on a day that you typically spend alone.

You can move out or you can keep your work days as they were, but as an adult child living in your parent’s house you should be very aware that this is very often a set up that’s tolerated by parents and not enjoyed.

Edited to clarify that I love my dc and having them around, and they are welcome any time. I would prefer at this stage for them to have their own space (where there is no precedent for me to be the parent) and me to have mine.