Would you go nc with your parents for this

[giantcolouringbook]

I am 23(f) and work f/t my company have been offering compresses hours which I have happily accepted bearing in mind I get paid the same and do the same hours but an extra day off plus weekends.
I excitedly told my parents this and they are furious saying that I should have discussed it with them first as it affects them too.
They've also said if I'm going to be home an extra day of in the week I need to do something with it and not just hang around the house.
My dad is retired and spends every day hanging around the house doing nothing.
Aibu to think a) this has nothing to do with them and b) I shouldn't be told to go out and do something when I am looking forward to an extra down day at home doing exactly what my dad does?
I am of course looking to move out asap but would you think there was any coming back from this or should I just move on never look back.

It sounds as if that resentment has built up over time & perhaps it’s not easy for you to communicate as a family.
i would also be very hurt & feel unwelcome in your position.
I can sympathise with your parents, as I was dreading my 2 sons coming home from uni this year and turning my peace into chaos and creating mess.
i’d built it up as a problem in my mind before they got home and I’d completely over reacted. Once we discussed, that I was afraid of being taken advantage of (cleaning etc) it was fine.
You may not be like this, but perhaps there are areas where you take your parents, resources etc for granted.
Could you have a gentle chat with your mum and start with, “If I did have more time, how could I help you”. That might open the door to find out what’s really going on.
i wish you the best

I was married at 23, moved out at 18 so I've no idea how you've lasted so long with your parents!

Start looking for a place of your own or find some fantastic sporting/college course/volunteering opportunity for your new free day.

Others have made good and productive comments. But to me this post just shows the absurdity of the whole “ Go NC” movement. I don’t like what I hear so I go NC. Swipe left with my parents ( while living in their home). It would be interesting to research how our use of social media and electronic devices affects our capacity for sustained engagement and seeing others’ perspective. Not in a positive way I suspect.

YABU for still living at home.
you sound self entitled and selfish. Do you even pull your weight at home. Why not move into a flat share?

Oh, and maybe they have very noisy sex while you're at work and they would rather you were out of the house.

'Going NC' is not a punishment, it's a way of surviving when your parents make you feel so terrible that it's difficult to live a normal life when yo're in contact with them.

Does this describe you? If you feel you would be better off not having any contact with them then of course that is your right. Better move out first though.

You sound very entitled. Perhaps you should get your own place. Your dad can do what he likes in his own house.

I'd love my adult dc to spend more time with us.
Your dp's sound a bit anal.
Do they still treat you like a dc?

Fucking hell, you sound like Kevin the Teenager. Your dad has worked all his life and is entitled to do what the hell he likes in his retirement, he's earned it. If he wants to watch TV and potter around in the home that he has bought and paid for then that's his absolute entitlement. To compare your needs at 23 years old to his is beyond laughable. No wonder they don't want you hanging around. By the way, how exactly are you going to go NC when you have the privilege of living in your parents home? I really hope for your sake this post is a joke.

You are most likely welcome in their lives just not all the bloody time, you come across sound very entitled like you are just owed this stuff but you are not. kids are meant to come visit and ENJOY time together not drain their parents dry daily.

Ever heard the phrase 'absence makes the heart go fonder'.

Tbf to your dad it is a huge change to have someone someone home during the week if he's used to being on his own. I wfh some of the time and part time, I'd expect my DH to let me know before he changed his working pattern and would be at home more.....and he pays more of the mortgage than me.

If they actually are furious then that is an over reaction but something tells me there's more to it than that. You don't seem to have much respect for your parents, and seem to have a bit of entitlement going on. You speak about your dad wanting to be at home as if your situations are equal...he presumably is at the end of his career, with many working years behind him not to mention has at least one adult child still living at home , i don't blame him for valuing his peace and quiet, I imagine he hasn't had much of it bringing up children.
Oh and it's his bloody house. You are 23, and haven't even moved out of your parents home. Don't take it so personally that he values his peace. I'm sure they love you very much (if they didn't they'd have got you to move out by now surely) but loving you and wanting an adult child still living at home and now being around more are 2 different things.

I imagine your parents actually want you to move out but haven't said anything because they realise it's hard out there with COL but this extra day is realising it may tip the balance. In your shoes I'd take the compressed hours but maybe make sure I'm out and about rather than being round the house more.

In the kindest way op your parents are retired, you are 23. They are entitled to potter about doing fa after probably 40+ years at work.

Our dd, 25, lives with us. She is a teacher and has long school holidays. Over the summer she's led a drama group, been to America and France, spends 2/3 nights with her bf and is an active choir member.

I'd be irritated if she didn't use her time constructively. I think you are being VV unreasonable.

Gently, it's perhaps time to move out and live independently.

Unless there's more backstory, YABU. It's time to move out, it's reasonable for them to want their own space back once their child is an adult.

Well, she'll have to make sure she won't need them, won't she?
My parents were emotionally abusive, far more than this. I was by no means a spoiled brat. These screwed up cretins were from a Communist country, a so called "silent generation".
Getting NC was a good thing.

@giantcolouringbook if as you have said you have nothing to do on this extra day, then why are you even compressing your hours?

Seriously when I was your age, work was a major part of my life, work was not just about work, it was my social. time as well, my friends at that time were those I worked with

As I got older and my life developed, sure I wanted less time in work because I needed more time for home life, when I bought first home and was renovating it, would have loved it if compressed hours was a thing, when bringing up the kids, needed to go part time, now full time carer, wife, mother and grandmother the 16 hrs I work now can still not leave me enough time at home

But at 23, with no responsibilities , to take compressed hours to just have another lazy day around the house? Unless of course you are a serious party animal and need the extra day to sleep it off? In which case no wonder your parents have reacted that way

They want you to move out but can’t ask

This
Your dad sounds like a boring old fart. He has 5 days at home to himself. I love having the house to myself but I don't begrudge my own family being at home. And the reply So how many of your adult children still live at home?
I have 3 they work weekends so are home in the week why would a parent mind them being at home.

Do you contribute to house bills etc? If yes, do hey think that you will not be able to because they think you are working part time?

I was married at 20 so can't imagine sharing at 23. Are you a droopy sort of Kevina who will loll about the house irritating them or will you bounce out of bed and say 'here I am folks, what can I do to help today?'. Hmmmm. Birds leave the nest for a reason so you might want to sit down with them and discuss the future? It might not mean moving out but it sounds as though there need to be some changes - as to going NC, they might be thinking along the same lines!

You're 23 in full time employment you should move out, you're not a child any more.

Likewise, let's hope the parents wont one day want to rely in her to pop in and help with the care.

Definitely time to move out OP. You must want your own space and sounds like they want theirs, which is perfectly ok. I appreciate it’s touched a nerve, but not worth going NC over it.

I have a bit of sympathy with your parents tbh now I have an adult son who wfh.

He is 20 & is always here during the day and it's got to the point that it really (unreasonably) irritates me.

I feel like I can't do anything alone as he's always here. Always in the kitchen when I want to be doing something there, eating all the food, not tidying up how I would etc.

Just constant noise, movement etc - sometimes I just want to be on my own in the house (dh & other dc are at work/school during the day).

He's not doing anything wrong & I love the bones of him but I'm at the stage where I'd quite like him to move out.

Going nc is extreme and not warranted at all but I think you need to concentrate your efforts on moving out as you would all benefit from it.

From their point of view it looks like you are stepping back from work at a time you haven't established an independent life. He seems you being at home indefinitely.

This isn't the case with compressed hours but it's an easy misunderstanding.

Your changed hours will also presumably have an impact. The nine day fortnight is common but you will be doing two hours extra each day so a potentially very early start and in the same house that probably means disturbing them in some way.

Either way suggesting you no longer talk to them is utterly ridiculous. It sounds like you need a conversation and a plan to move out.

Your reaction here is precisely why they don't want you in their house any more. It's entitled and spoilt. Yes, if you live in their house you absolutely should have discussed it with them, so rude and arrogant of you not to even think if it. Lolling at your arrogant idea of going non contact with them - whilst you live in their house 😂