To out-dessert my MIL

[MrsPassiveAggressive]

I’ve had an ongoing battle with my MIL over the years who doesn’t like to be upstaged, or for anyone else to get a compliment over anything.

We invite each other over for meals, and every time she undermines me. Every time she brings something that she has made, usually dessert, even when we say no need to bring anything. In the past she used to rock up with a main dish, now it’s the whole dessert with Tip Top and fruit.

The other thing is, my MIL is a dreadful cook. The reason why she is this, is because she puts no thought or love into anything. Because we once ate one of her dessert's, she now brings that every freaking time. It’s a cake. I measured it, and I kid you not, it was 1.5 cm thick.

Last time she came, she barely walked through the door and she told me there wasn’t enough to go round (other people there) and she had not made it for me, so,I wasn’t having any. She also brought other things, like nibbles, and said they weren’t for me. This is just f*cking rude. This is my house, and I’m the one doing all the work for the meal. When dessert came, my DC, being polite, had both this and the desert I’d made, and the other guests, DH’s siblings and BF’s had hers as they are too shit scared to upset her, but it’s ok to upset me, right?

Also, not trying to blow my own trumpet, but I’m a really good cook and baker. I’m asked to make cakes and desserts for other people. When I have guests over I spend a lot of time making an amazing dessert. One I made a while ago took me 4 hours to make, and it got loads of compliments.

The other thing is, if I went to my MIL’s house for lunch or dinner and I turned up with an unasked for dessert, she’d have a hissy fit. I’m just sick of her undermining me in my own home (tried in other areas of my life such as with DGC, but she failed) and others keeping quiet to keep the peace, happily letting me be upset.

I tried to say “oh thanks, we’ll have this tomorrow after dinner” but she got up and basically started serving it up. My DH knows this annoys me, so ate mine, and when she offered me the leftovers I said no thanks, I don’t want it. Before she gets here my DC tell me, oh FGS, she better not bring that cake again.

I know this is unbelievably petty, but this is the only person on the planet who brings the PA 12- year old out in me. I don’t like how I act around her, she brings out the worst in me.

So, AIBU to take her cake, and channel Nigella meets Hummingbird Bakery, and pull out a Bake Off show stopper of her cake just to put her back in her bloody box?

FYI she never takes any food to either of her DD’s houses.

I'd just trip when she hands you hers

😂 😂 😂

It's petty but yes I would! It would be the grandest, most delicious 3 tier cake there has ever been and everyone would gasp in awe whilst MIL had a hissy fit in the background.

YANBU

I would take her cake and trip and drop the whole lot on the floor ..... extra points if you drop it upside down

She's rude not to make enough for you. But I couldn't get annoyed with someone for bringing something to dinner. I myself would always turn up with something if I went to someone's house for food, I think it'd be rude not to.

God, stop having meals in each others houses.
You clearly hate it, it can’t be enjoyable for anyone concerned.

When she says theres none for you say "Thank Fuck for that, its minging"

Have you posted about her before? If not, there's another poster on here who will absolutely sympathise!

I know this isn’t what you asked - but I’m just here to find out whether you can still buy Tip Top?

Make a cathedral out of profitarols.

YANBU please make the dessert!

I'd text this :

"Next time you come for dinner you can't bring any food, I find it rude. If you do bring anything you will never come here for a meal again. Your choice (nobhead)"

Also, tell your kids to only eat yours! Or put both in their bowl and then leave hers uneaten.

God I could not be arsed.

Start having meals out.
Thank her for the cake and let her serve it, so what?
Just ignore her antics and get on with your life. Yes she's annoying but so are lots of people, just don't let it bother you.

When dessert came, my DC, being polite, had both this and the desert I’d made, and the other guests, DH’s siblings and BF’s had hers as they are too shit scared to upset her

So just how many people had this 1.5cm cake? It’s a bit Mumsnet Chicken 😆

Please do this, I know as adults were always meant to 'be the bigger person' and 'not stoop to their level' blah blah but I couldn't cope with her being like that to me in my own home. Also make the best dessert you've ever made and as she's about to serve up her shite cake id just push past her with the awesome dessert you made and loudly announce 'who wants some of this lovely cake?'

Ha ha! Do this! It won’t cause any trouble, honest. 😆

Wait until she has served hers then darken the lights and bring yours out to a trumpet accompaniment.

I think I'd smash it into her face slapstick style if she said to me "there's none for you".

Your DH needs to flatten her pancake too, although I'm not saying literally with a frying pan.

This woman sounds mad. Best ignore and smile manically.

Do it OP.

What's good for the goose is good for the gander after all.

perhaps it's cultural, but I would find it rude and annoying for a guest to show up with something for the meal if not consulted prior. As a host I put time and effort into devising the menu, and then actually making it. Not to mention cost of ingredients. If someone rocks up with extra dishes then my time, effort, and money has been partially wasted. Yes you can have leftovers, but they are rarely as good as when a meal is first served.

I'd stop making desserts and make everyone who's sits there in silence suffer.

They'll soon pipe up.

I’m falling about laughing at this!!

Great line!! Not that my MIL behaves like this.

And party cannons! And party blowers!

Take a leaf out of your husband's book and (presumably) your FIL's book and learn to care a lot less. If they cared even half as much as you, they'd do the cooking themselves.

It's just food, not worth all this silly drama.