To out-dessert my MIL

[MrsPassiveAggressive]

I’ve had an ongoing battle with my MIL over the years who doesn’t like to be upstaged, or for anyone else to get a compliment over anything.

We invite each other over for meals, and every time she undermines me. Every time she brings something that she has made, usually dessert, even when we say no need to bring anything. In the past she used to rock up with a main dish, now it’s the whole dessert with Tip Top and fruit.

The other thing is, my MIL is a dreadful cook. The reason why she is this, is because she puts no thought or love into anything. Because we once ate one of her dessert's, she now brings that every freaking time. It’s a cake. I measured it, and I kid you not, it was 1.5 cm thick.

Last time she came, she barely walked through the door and she told me there wasn’t enough to go round (other people there) and she had not made it for me, so,I wasn’t having any. She also brought other things, like nibbles, and said they weren’t for me. This is just f*cking rude. This is my house, and I’m the one doing all the work for the meal. When dessert came, my DC, being polite, had both this and the desert I’d made, and the other guests, DH’s siblings and BF’s had hers as they are too shit scared to upset her, but it’s ok to upset me, right?

Also, not trying to blow my own trumpet, but I’m a really good cook and baker. I’m asked to make cakes and desserts for other people. When I have guests over I spend a lot of time making an amazing dessert. One I made a while ago took me 4 hours to make, and it got loads of compliments.

The other thing is, if I went to my MIL’s house for lunch or dinner and I turned up with an unasked for dessert, she’d have a hissy fit. I’m just sick of her undermining me in my own home (tried in other areas of my life such as with DGC, but she failed) and others keeping quiet to keep the peace, happily letting me be upset.

I tried to say “oh thanks, we’ll have this tomorrow after dinner” but she got up and basically started serving it up. My DH knows this annoys me, so ate mine, and when she offered me the leftovers I said no thanks, I don’t want it. Before she gets here my DC tell me, oh FGS, she better not bring that cake again.

I know this is unbelievably petty, but this is the only person on the planet who brings the PA 12- year old out in me. I don’t like how I act around her, she brings out the worst in me.

So, AIBU to take her cake, and channel Nigella meets Hummingbird Bakery, and pull out a Bake Off show stopper of her cake just to put her back in her bloody box?

FYI she never takes any food to either of her DD’s houses.

Problem is that people are eating her cake.

It needs to be handed back untouched!

What type of cake is it?

Pop hers on a damp plate and smush it up subtly so it looks extra specially sad. If your DH and others are ridiculous enough to want to eat it feel smug eating your delicious showstopper as they eat their sad soggy cake. Make yours 3 thick, glorious layers and place them side by side. And just be smug. Also if she says "none for you" same goes for her. Leave her to her nibbles and cake whilst you eat the delicious meal you have made.

Make this.

@BaronessBomburst

Here comes the cake again
Walking through the door like a tragedy
Falling on the table like a disappointment
I want to eat a Croquembouche
I want to make a Sachertorte
Want to dive into a custard fool
Oh no, MIL is that you?

😄

🎶 Someone left your cake out in the rain
Because we hate it when you bake it
We can no longer fake it,
Please never make that recipe agaaaaain... 🎵

Edited due to quote fail

😂😂😂😂😂

I went to an event a couple of years ago and about ten people all brought trifle.

Next time-
ASK her to make dessert! Boldly request a thing she had made before. Be Gushing in your request.

U can choose to make your own as well do there is variety.

My strategy with MIL is to f*ck her up by not allowing her to play her games.

My MIL visits from abroad and demands I go out & buy her urgent things nearly every day. Her little errand girl. Cotton buds, acetone, scented lotion,aperitifs/cordials, top coat nail polish, soft socks, shower puff , shower cap,. Emery boards etc. she doesn’t want my acetone, she wants her own. Very demanding in her manner.
After several of these visits, I buy it all in advance and make her a welcome basket. I totally suck up like I love to make her happy (I don’t).
Just love to annoy her by not allowing her to send me out for her urgent needs.

😂

I know! Ask her for her recipe, then next time she comes over make it properly. It’ll be fluffy, and a lot taller. You can decorate it to the highest standard. Then when she puts it on the table, you can say, “oh look, we made the same thing”.

A woman I know used to make an apple cake, and she said it was always heavy and dry. Then her friend brought one around and it was three times the height and light and fluffy. That was when she realised that she was a rubbish baker.

Do it. Go full croquembouche.

'Look kids, nan has bought her flat famous cake again!'

'We all talk about your unique cake/s Marjorie. We've always wondered, how do you get them so flat??? Does the recipe have no rising agent, or is is a pancake mix??? I must get the recipe' 😂

No advice but loving this thread!

I have also decided that I’m going to take my old Calpol syringes and make a salty solution, and inject it into her pathetic cake.

Or is there somethmg more minging I can add to it, which can’t be pinned on me?

@Obimumkinobi

Hilarious and yes it's spraying scent 🤣🤣.

Op I do feel for you.
I think my response for this is on wider context she may be nice in other ways.
Unfortunately mine is definitely not and this was just another string to her bow.

I would always take something, but not an actual "meal replacement." Wine, flowers, after dinner mints...

Marzipan will do it.

Best not use salt - it can act as an emetic and you don't want your children, say, actually being sick. Unpleasant for them and inconvenient for you.
I'd go the other way and inject a very sweet solution so it seems as though she's added too much sugar.

I’m also thinking that maybe I just can’t be arsed.
Instead of wasting my cooking on people like this, the next time I am meant to cook, and they ask if they can bring anything, instead of saying no, I am going to say, sure. Mil you bring dessert and anything else you like, SIL you bring starters and a veg.

I’ll do fuck all, and save my best cooking for my own lot.

Or, I’m fucking tired of the games, and I think I’m just going to suggest meeting outside to eat.

Make a lovely dessert with ice cream or whipped cream and eat it smugly while they eat her yuck offerings

Just a light dusting of bicarbonate of soda sieved over the cake. Looks just like icing sugar.

DO IT

I would go full on French and interject some additional courses - a fish course, a homemade sorbet palette cleanser, a cheese course, with some grapes etc. a cafe gourmet, and then the finale with MIL cake. Keep reassuring her throughout that hers will be a fitting final course. Sadly by then everyone will be so full of your delicious food they will only want a little bit.

@MrsPassiveAggressive

Before you get fed up of the thread, please would you give your 4 hour dessert recipe?
I genuinely am interested.

I would go for full petty and make a 3 tier showstopper (at your own house so you have full control- don’t take it to hers). She has been quite clear that her cake doesn’t serve everyone and there’s never enough for you (unbelievably rude) so you have to make one big enough for all. If you have young kids, get them to help too so no one can refuse the cake if a child has helped with it.

Make a big huge cake with bells and whistles and lights and sparklers to literally outshine her 😂

Salt?
maybe onion salt instead ! Garlic salt?

Then you can suggest maybe the bad taste means her dishwasher needs cleaning,