Called a c*nt by fellow train passenger - AIBU

[Trainride123]

While getting off a commuter train with my two children, my toddler pressed the "doors closing" button when there was still a man and his bike behind me waiting to get off. The doors beeped but nothing happened (as the door won't close if people are still walking through), and as I walked out of the door I pressed the "doors open" button just to be 100% sure it didn't close. I also told my toddler not to do that again.

The man directly behind me got annoyed at my toddler and made some loud comments along the lines of "what seriously? You must be joking" etc.

When we were all out I turned around and apologised to him but also said that he's only a toddler and nothing actually happened to the door. The man totally ignored me, didn't even look at me. We all walked out of the barriers.

I was so annoyed about his comment and then that he ignored me, that when I came across him again 30 seconds later, I told him he'd been rude. He in turn called me a cnt and rode off on his bike. I shouted after him not to call me cnt and he shouted back "I didn't call you that, I called you a stuck up c*nt". At this point DH had come to the station to pick me up and heard him shout that at me, so DH shouted at him and went over. The man told him that he doesn't know what my problem is as I was behind him on the train and he's already apologised to me, asked my DH which car in the car park was his, then said to let's just leave things, then made fun of a facial condition I have and laughed, and rode off on his bike.

In hindsight I just shouldn't have confronted him should I. I know my toddler was in the wrong, but surely reacting in this way isn't right either.

He sounds absolutely vile OP but please don't start a confrontation with a bloke especially when you have kids with you! It is not worth it and could end up putting you all in danger.

What an upsetting experience. Your toddler wasn't in the wrong and it sounds as though you behaved well in apologising to the cycling prick. Try not to dwell on it. Some people are dreadful arseholes, most aren't x

I wouldn’t have gone back and called him rude.

I mean I understand the temptation, but what’s the point in that, really? It wasn’t ever going to end well.

I wouldn't have engaged with him whatsoever when he was making the initial comments. Just ignore

You shouldn't have reacted to him and told him he was rude although that is something I would do too.v You had a child with you and you and your child's life matter more than the nasty bike man. Hope you feel ok now and this isn't you but nasty bike man!

Would have been an exceptionally tall and strong toddler to be able to reach and operate the buttons on all the lines I've ever used.

This. Not a sensible thing to do.

That’s awful. Sorry to hear that. It’s sometimes hard to know if we should bite our tongue or not in the moment until after the fact.

Either way yes of course he shouldn’t have called you those names and to make fun of a facial condition is even worse. And all this while your kid is there. Sounds like a very cruel and likely misogynistic man.

I remember a friend of mine said some guy called her a cunt getting off the train during the pandemic. I can’t even remember the details of how it happened, but it was really a disproportionate reaction to something minor happening.

He is clearly an angry twat but you just should have kept walking instead of escalating the whole scenario. Your DH also didn’t help.

I’m sure there are nice cyclists who are not pricks, I’ve just never met one.

In future op just ignore.

when I came across him again 30 seconds later, I told him he'd been rude

Why on earth would you do this?

He was a twat but you were the one who escalated it.

🤣🤣

Struggling to follow this. The man's comments to your toddler don't seem to make any sense in the context, and you say he rode away on his bike but then had a confrontation with your husband in the car park. Have you missed some parts of this out for brevity?

Well you've taught your toddler a new word so well done for that 🙄😂

Lol in defence of cyclists my former manager was /is one and he is a brilliant guy! So that’s one 😂

On another note I remember walking to work in Richmond one lovely morning and some woman cyclist screamed at me to get out the way - on the pavement!!

I was so taken aback I didn’t say anything, if that happened again I certainly would.

Yes, he was very rude, but you should have let it go after you left the train. You escalated it.

Really? They are wheelchair accessible here which puts them low enough for an average toddler what an disabalist area you live in

This. Is just not worth it these days. People can pull knives out. It's best to avoid confrontation at all costs.

Yeah, London sucks sometimes.

The man told him that he doesn't know what my problem is as I was behind him on the train and he's already apologised to me, asked my DH which car in the car park was his, then said to let's just leave things, then made fun of a facial condition I have and laughed, and rode off on his bike.

It’s also a bit crazy that he went from claiming he had apologised and saying to just leave things to making fun of you again before riding off? He sounds unhinged.

Your toddler was being a toddler and no harm done. People commuting are so blooming inpatient. But I agree, you could have put yourself and your DC in danger, as you’ve no idea what random strangers are capable of. I have the same problem and there’s been times I’ve had to same something but I’m learning not to, as it’s really not worth it, especially with young children around.

It all sounds rather strange, why would he ask which car is yours for? And then insult you in front of your Husband.

Why on earth did you keep going back for more? You re-approached him twice - you should have just left it at the train doors. He was absolutely rude and his language totally uncalled for, but then again maybe your child annoyed someone who was already in a bad mood and you wouldn't let it go.

Sometimes it's better to leave well enough alone .. it's not right in front of your young children for him t hav done that and it speaks to his character - but sometimes getting the last word isn't always worth it.

Yeah you were wrong to go back for seconds. As someone upthread said he could have had a weapon, you just never know.

If I had a go at everyone who had annoyed me this summer or commented on my kids, it would make for a very unpleasant 6 weeks. A woman called my DS annoying and loud just last weekend. Me and him looked at each other and laughed. I’d never start a fight with her about it.