Called a c*nt by fellow train passenger - AIBU

[Trainride123]

While getting off a commuter train with my two children, my toddler pressed the "doors closing" button when there was still a man and his bike behind me waiting to get off. The doors beeped but nothing happened (as the door won't close if people are still walking through), and as I walked out of the door I pressed the "doors open" button just to be 100% sure it didn't close. I also told my toddler not to do that again.

The man directly behind me got annoyed at my toddler and made some loud comments along the lines of "what seriously? You must be joking" etc.

When we were all out I turned around and apologised to him but also said that he's only a toddler and nothing actually happened to the door. The man totally ignored me, didn't even look at me. We all walked out of the barriers.

I was so annoyed about his comment and then that he ignored me, that when I came across him again 30 seconds later, I told him he'd been rude. He in turn called me a cnt and rode off on his bike. I shouted after him not to call me cnt and he shouted back "I didn't call you that, I called you a stuck up c*nt". At this point DH had come to the station to pick me up and heard him shout that at me, so DH shouted at him and went over. The man told him that he doesn't know what my problem is as I was behind him on the train and he's already apologised to me, asked my DH which car in the car park was his, then said to let's just leave things, then made fun of a facial condition I have and laughed, and rode off on his bike.

In hindsight I just shouldn't have confronted him should I. I know my toddler was in the wrong, but surely reacting in this way isn't right either.

A child ran in front of my wheelchair at a family event this summer. Their mother told was enraged and shouted ‘go fuck yourself’. I had my 10 year old with me, she had her primary age kid and there were kids all around. With an attitude and language like that, I didn’t say a word. What’s the point? I’m not going to educate or change her.

Bit worried for your husband's car in future.

Some people can't be reasoned with, maybe having a bad day but no excuse. Of you challenge this type of person you will just receive more abuse and defensive behaviour. Xx

As soon as I saw "called a cnt" I knew it was by a man. Germaine Greer was right when she said us women really don't know how much men HATE women. A lot (not all of course) of men are so filled with hate for women. He probably is an incel and so hates women for that reason. I am so sorry for how that abhorrent man treated you.

Another entitled cxnt bike rider. A lot of them have this attitude like they can do no wrong

Sounds like he's the cunt to be honest! Let it go, OP 🙂

People are crazy these days please don't do this again especially when you're with a child

He sounds like an immature idiot who doesn’t deserve a second more of your head space

I dunno - sounds like your toddler has a fairly good grasp of how to deal with men like that 🤔 😆.
Doooor shut! Bye bye

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As a train driver, we get called that and much worse on a daily basis. You have to let it go over your head or you’ll stew on it and it’s not good for you.
You are entirely correct that the doors wouldn’t have shut on him and they don’t get locked until the Driver/Train Manager check everyone is clear so there was no harm done at all by your toddler.
I find that train travel seems to being out the worst in people and there’s scores of tetchy people who seem to lose all perspective as soon as they step foot on a train.
Honestly, I wouldn’t worry about it, annoying as it is, like other commenters have said, it’s best not to get involved in a disagreement with them - you never know what they are capable of.
Hopefully next time you have a better experience on a train 🚂

You made this situation what it was, you didn't need to go up to him and call him rude... not everyone has to be overly nice to you just because you apologised.

Perhaps he is going through some serious problems in his life and your comment was the straw that broke the camels back.

To be honest, it sounded like you were acting like a bit of a stuck up c*nt... no he shouldn't have called you that, because there were children there, but then you shouldn't have goaded him whilst your children were there either.

If ever this happens again then point them out to station staff as being abusive and let them deal with it.
don’t let it bother you as you can’t change anything.

I can't understand why people aren't 100% on your side. Why this idea we should all meekly accept men being really bloody rude? A grown adult saying 'seriously' to a toddler is weird and pathetic. And he deserved to be called out on it. They just won't learn if we don't tell them. I think you did totally the right thing and I'm really sorry that he insulted you. Anyone who thinks calling you a c* after you said he was rude is really mistaken. That's not normal.

@millym102 - for me, it's because the OP addressed it, didn't get any response so engaged a second time- that's why I'm not 100% on their side. The situation was done and she chose to seek out conflict, with a young child, and a bloke she already knew was a bit of a dick. So no- not on their side.

So your problem is she was assertive and wasn't meek and mild? Why is it people like you have a problem with strong, assertive women who want to make sure things are properly addressed? Maybe you might need to ask yourself why you expected her to be silent and why you have a problem with strong and assertive women.

@CrochetForLife- disagree she was assertive- assertive was calling out the behaviour- as she did and should have, at the time it happened. It's not assertive seek out round 2, because the initial response wasn't to your liking- that's then being the aggressor/ inflaming the situation.

I thought you were going to say that he missed his stop because of your toddler closing the door!

Him making fun of a facial condition you have might constitute a hate crime - speak to police, honestly