Called a c*nt by fellow train passenger - AIBU

[Trainride123]

While getting off a commuter train with my two children, my toddler pressed the "doors closing" button when there was still a man and his bike behind me waiting to get off. The doors beeped but nothing happened (as the door won't close if people are still walking through), and as I walked out of the door I pressed the "doors open" button just to be 100% sure it didn't close. I also told my toddler not to do that again.

The man directly behind me got annoyed at my toddler and made some loud comments along the lines of "what seriously? You must be joking" etc.

When we were all out I turned around and apologised to him but also said that he's only a toddler and nothing actually happened to the door. The man totally ignored me, didn't even look at me. We all walked out of the barriers.

I was so annoyed about his comment and then that he ignored me, that when I came across him again 30 seconds later, I told him he'd been rude. He in turn called me a cnt and rode off on his bike. I shouted after him not to call me cnt and he shouted back "I didn't call you that, I called you a stuck up c*nt". At this point DH had come to the station to pick me up and heard him shout that at me, so DH shouted at him and went over. The man told him that he doesn't know what my problem is as I was behind him on the train and he's already apologised to me, asked my DH which car in the car park was his, then said to let's just leave things, then made fun of a facial condition I have and laughed, and rode off on his bike.

In hindsight I just shouldn't have confronted him should I. I know my toddler was in the wrong, but surely reacting in this way isn't right either.

It's implied in the OP.

Haha are you serious? ‘Not controlling your child’ - a toddler pressed a door button on a train, oh no!!!!!!

I wouldn't have even confronted him you never know what people are capable of and it just got worse because you did
The bloke in question was out of order completely

Nothing to do with being nice, just don't be nasty.

Where?

Makes you wonder how they cope with a really stressful situation like breaking a nail or something.

God forbid a child talks in public!

But you’ve no idea what was going on with that man, he could have been completely at the end of his tether with stress or something. (Not excusing his vile language)
It unexpectedly took me 8 hours and 6 packed trains to get somewhere that’s usually a three hour direct journey a couple of weeks ago, by the end of that I was in no fit state to deal with things particularly rationally.

Any apology that has the word but after it isn't a proper apology
And people don't always acknowledge that you've apologised. I'm amazed you've got this far in life without having someone ignore an apology you've made.

I hope you weren't trying to cope with a bike while that was going on.

Cyclist. Says it all. They're normally utter entitled c*nts themselves.

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lol. When you can’t think of an original response..😂

Be careful. With all the stabbings and violance on trains and in public recently it isn't worth it. Unfortunately women are extra vulnerable with small children.
I would as others have said ignored it and pretended not to hear it. As now your chips has heard an inmapropriate word being used a ciuple times and seen a potential confrontation.

I would have had it out with him on the instant, not left it and then escalated it - but that's me.

Anyway - there was only one cunt and it wasn't you.

If I'd been there I would have backed you up OP. Fancy using those words Infront of infants. What an absolute tool. You were a good role model to your children by standing up for yourself in what sounds to be an assertive but non confrontational way. Just be glad you're not a sad man like that.

I would be reporting this verbal abuse and threatening behaviour to the police. The train station will have it all on CCTV. It's about time men were held responsible for their behaviour! Don't be afraid to defend yourself.

What threatening behaviour? He didn't go near the OP. He rode away after she "verbally abused" him first. It was her husband who approached the man after that.

For goodness sake your a big girl suck it up & move on with your life what’s tge worst thing that could happen?
Nothing is will you ever see him again? Probably not if you do push him off his bike if it makes you feel better.
I’d be more worried little has picked up the word because you’ve made such a fuss over it

These days unless it’s life or death I wouldn’t interact with anyone on public transport or in any public place. Sad state of affairs I know but you just don’t know who you’re dealing with, what they’re on, what sort of day they’re having, a knife hidden away etc etc.

The adult thing to do would have been to have parted ways after you acknowledged the toddler pushed the button and you'd taught them that was wrong. He was annoyed, big deal. Shrug it off and continue parenting your child.

It all went wrong when you went back for seconds. It's like trying to get the last word in which I personally find quite childish tbh. He retaliated to that. Which I probably would have done too. THEN to be chased down by your husband for a third helping, I'd have lost my shit at that point tbh.

Not everyone is going to see that darling toddler didn't mean anything by their behaviour. Dont take it so personally or give them a dressing down for it - it's inviting drama, like this.

Learn from it and move on.

Sad but true. There's a lot of violent bullies out there.

That sort of thing happens when you have toddlers. I don’t know why you engaged with him, repeatedly.

Bring it on.