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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dd wants to stop working because of rude customers

204 replies

Dricol · 27/08/2024 12:23

Dd (16) is a lovely girl, hates confrontation and is a people pleaser. She has had a part time job for a few months. Enjoys it for the most part but really struggles with rude customers. So much so she now wants to quit. Dh is okay with this but I’m hoping these experiences will toughen her up.

For example, yesterday she had a less than perfect experience but nothing to get upset over. A child had dropped a plastic toy that looks like a doctor’s instrument set. Dd rushed over to help pick up as she thought it was real and said something like “oh phew, I thought it was real.” Which made the 5 or 6 year old child burst out crying and the mother saying something like “well it is to her”. Apparently this child cried for 20 minutes and kept pointing at her. Anyway this upset dd. She says her cheeks were burning red the entire time they were sat in the shop. Her place of work is in a hospital.

She often has people asking her to let her off money that goes over whole pounds. We found out she was eventually saying yes and the putting in 5p/2p from her own purse! It’s a charity so dd felt obliged and felt awkward as some adults were really pushing her to the point she decribed it as “borderline begging”. For the sake of pence. She said it shocks her how tight some of the customers are.

Anyway, should we let her quit because the experience can occasionally be unpleasant. I’m against it. Dh thinks she’s given it a go. We’re proud she has been able to get up very early, transport herself to work and just generally get on with everything with minimal fuss.

I'm conflicted as I would love her to address her people pleasing ways.

OP posts:
PvH · 29/08/2024 12:57

I would never let my son work there. Let them hire an adult with a big mouth to put these customers in their place. A former colleague said to me: You have to raise these customers. I'm Dutch though.

Jeannie88 · 29/08/2024 17:24

Unfortunately she will have rude customers wherever she works if dealing with customers. At that age I was very similar to her but continued throughout college for 2 years, and did toughen up a bit. At least it's a worthwhile cause and not just corporate profit. I think learning a few lines such as 'I'm sorry I can't do that' as some may be taking advantage of her. Xx

pleasehelpwi3 · 31/08/2024 14:04

sunsetsandboardwalks · 27/08/2024 14:34

Surely "they" just means "the staff" in that situation? Confused

The emoji is passive agressive.
The point about the comment is that only the speaker knows who 'they' referred to- people of Indian origin, or people who work on the till.
Given the amount of racist people about , the first meaning wouldn't surprise me.

1offnamechange · 31/08/2024 18:05

pleasehelpwi3 · 31/08/2024 14:04

The emoji is passive agressive.
The point about the comment is that only the speaker knows who 'they' referred to- people of Indian origin, or people who work on the till.
Given the amount of racist people about , the first meaning wouldn't surprise me.

aren't you being hypocritical?
surely if this is your position then the same applies to the emoji usage of the poster you're quoting?
OP's DD interpreted the comment as being racist but as you say only the speaker knows what they meant
YOU have interpreted the emoji as passive aggressive but only the other poster knows how they intended it...

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