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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

He says I can't meet his friends until I get a promotion??

818 replies

Burritowrap · 26/08/2024 10:41

I have been seeing someone for around a year now. We are exclusive and see each other twice a week or so.
He has been on a beach trip with my friends but seemed awkward but got over the initial awkwardness.
He talks about marriage, moving in together and has told his family about me.

This weekend we went for a meal for their birthday. I had made a big fuss for their day, organising a cake, gifts and took them to a fancy restaurant. I thought he enjoyed it.

He then was talking about some party he is planning to hold, and i said how great it would be to finally meet his friends. He went all sketchy and said how he didnt want that to happen just yet. I asked him why and he couldnt really answer me. He told me he could possibly introduce me once I had a promotion at work so then he could show off my role. (We are both in the same profession).

He then went on during the night saying how I am very full on and he doesnt like it - he wants to wait five years for kids (I don't) and that I should be focusing on my career. He was complaining how I want to get married and he wants to wait. He was the one who bought it all up.

I am so hurt by all of these things. I thought we were on the same page and he just has made me feel terrible. I feel like why bring all of this up on his birthday night... Im not sure how to respond but havent spoken to him since as I am just so upset and done.

OP posts:
SuperLoudPoppingAction · 26/08/2024 10:43

Pack him in, honestly. It isn't going to get better.

Sethera · 26/08/2024 10:43

Tell him to fuck off. Pathetic behaviour. LTB.

RandomMess · 26/08/2024 10:43

He wants a show wife.

FuzzyPuffling · 26/08/2024 10:43

Bin, now. You are worth more than this.

Are you sure he's not already married?

Karmaisac4t · 26/08/2024 10:44

Duuuump him.

6ixThirty · 26/08/2024 10:44

Sorry OP. That is horrible 😢

There is only one way to respond, and that is to say goodbye, as politely or otherwise as you wish.

TheChosenTwo · 26/08/2024 10:44

@FuzzyPuffling i was just thinking that he may already be married too, strange.
OP bin him off, he sounds like a right twat.

tinytemper66 · 26/08/2024 10:44

He is a twat. Don't waste anymore time on him.

Kosenrufugirl · 26/08/2024 10:44

Dump him. A life partner should love you for who you are, not for your job title. Run for hills as fast as your legs would carry you would be my advice. Sorry

Morningcrows · 26/08/2024 10:45

You respond by calling it a day. This will never work.

Cosyblankets · 26/08/2024 10:45

Bye then

TheFlis · 26/08/2024 10:45

So you have been together for a year but never actually met any of his friends or family?

vodkaredbullgirl · 26/08/2024 10:45

Dump

CaptainCabinetsTrappedInCabinets · 26/08/2024 10:46

Aaaaaaaaand DUMP

SummerSplashing · 26/08/2024 10:46

Stop wasting your time with this monumental dickhead.

Pistachiochiochio · 26/08/2024 10:46

Run.

You are not compatible. You should be with someone who can't stop talking about you to his friends.

Morningcrows · 26/08/2024 10:46

Yes HUGE red flag having never met friends or family

StormingNorman · 26/08/2024 10:47

Don’t stay with anyone who needs you to be “more” to be proud to show you off.

DarkForces · 26/08/2024 10:48

He has given you the present of telling you exactly who he is before you've invested in property together, got married or had kids. Listen to him. He's only going to get worse as he gets more settled.
RUN

Guiltypleasures001 · 26/08/2024 10:48

He was ok enjoying your birthday treats to him though
What a wank badger
Dump his sad arse

MyveryownFlyingSaucer · 26/08/2024 10:48

Sounds like he's already married.

This isn't a healthy relationship OP.

Where does he live? have you been to his house? what if you just turned up there?

TimeForTeaAndG · 26/08/2024 10:48

Why were you organising his family's birthday party?

Also, he's a dickhead. Tell him to collect anything he has left at your place and end it.

Tel12 · 26/08/2024 10:49

Do you not think that it's odd that you haven't met anyone from his own circle after a year? This relationship isn't going anywhere.

Thelnebriati · 26/08/2024 10:49

He's showing you red flags for controlling behaviour, this is your chance to dump him and run for the hills.

Mandarinaduck · 26/08/2024 10:49

Dump him (I mean he has more or less dumped you anyway, with all these strings and conditions. He is not that into you. And doesn’t sound very nice.)