Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

He says I can't meet his friends until I get a promotion??

818 replies

Burritowrap · 26/08/2024 10:41

I have been seeing someone for around a year now. We are exclusive and see each other twice a week or so.
He has been on a beach trip with my friends but seemed awkward but got over the initial awkwardness.
He talks about marriage, moving in together and has told his family about me.

This weekend we went for a meal for their birthday. I had made a big fuss for their day, organising a cake, gifts and took them to a fancy restaurant. I thought he enjoyed it.

He then was talking about some party he is planning to hold, and i said how great it would be to finally meet his friends. He went all sketchy and said how he didnt want that to happen just yet. I asked him why and he couldnt really answer me. He told me he could possibly introduce me once I had a promotion at work so then he could show off my role. (We are both in the same profession).

He then went on during the night saying how I am very full on and he doesnt like it - he wants to wait five years for kids (I don't) and that I should be focusing on my career. He was complaining how I want to get married and he wants to wait. He was the one who bought it all up.

I am so hurt by all of these things. I thought we were on the same page and he just has made me feel terrible. I feel like why bring all of this up on his birthday night... Im not sure how to respond but havent spoken to him since as I am just so upset and done.

OP posts:
Couldyounot · 26/08/2024 11:06

He sounds incorrigibly conceited. Dumping by text will suffice.

Tagyoureit · 26/08/2024 11:07

Call him up and say I've been thinking about you.... and I've realised you're a bit of a cunt and I want better. Don't call me again, bye!

That should do it!

fairydust11 · 26/08/2024 11:07

@Burritowrap

Of course don’t dump him in person. Don’t give an explanation. Don’t see or speak to him again. Delete, block & move on. Good luck.

redtrain123 · 26/08/2024 11:07

I agree with the others. Dump!

StolenChanel · 26/08/2024 11:07

Run. Fast and far.

Createausername1970 · 26/08/2024 11:07

You are on two different paths.

Time to call it a day.

Decaffeinatedplease · 26/08/2024 11:08

He told you his conditions for introducing you, thereby revealing himself to be a twat! Lucky escape, OP. It won't feel like it right now, but it absolutely was.

Thetraitor · 26/08/2024 11:08

Has he changed? Maybe met another option and decided to be harsh to you and make the issue about you?

RoachFish · 26/08/2024 11:08

Text him to say you have got a promotion at work and met someone with a bigger bank balance and a bigger dick than he has so you can no longer be seen with him.

ashitghost · 26/08/2024 11:08

This man will never, ever make you happy. Please, please dump him and never look back. What an A grade cunt, he’s revolting.

BunnyLake · 26/08/2024 11:08

I misread your initial post thinking ‘their’ was his family. So you haven’t met them either? I dated someone back in the 80s who behaved similar to this, very evasive about family/friends etc turned out he had a live-in gf. Dump.

GreyCarpet · 26/08/2024 11:09

Duckingella · 26/08/2024 10:57

There's a reason you don't live together and you haven't met his family n friends.

You're the other woman.

Or just being kept at a distance because he doesn't see a future with her but she'll do for now.

Which isn't any better obviously!

Member984815 · 26/08/2024 11:09

Dump him, he doesn't want to introduce you to his friends , he's met yours .

user1492757084 · 26/08/2024 11:09

Break up with him - stating that you need to find someone who loves you for who you are - just as you are.

Then sit down and watch Bridget Jones Diary.

Alittlebitfluffy · 26/08/2024 11:11

viques · 26/08/2024 10:50

Sounds to me as though his friends have all met his other girl friend, you know, the one he sees on the nights he doesn’t see you!

Absolutely this!

Somepeoplearesnippy · 26/08/2024 11:11

he has shown you who he is. Snobby, controlling, unwilling to compromise, critical. Be grateful you found this out before you wasted another year with him.

GalacticalFarce · 26/08/2024 11:12

He's going to waste your time.
If you stay with him, you'll find that there'll be no progression but the years will have passed.

He's going to introduce you to his friends when you're worthy of being showed off? Disgusting.

violetsparkle · 26/08/2024 11:12

It's fine to want different things. How he's treated you is not ok.

It's over. Don't chase him. Just ignore

BringMeTea · 26/08/2024 11:13

Throw this poor specimen back. Do it today.

alwaysmovingforwards · 26/08/2024 11:13

Well it certainly sounds like he’s getting cold feet about the relationship with you.

BubziOwl · 26/08/2024 11:14

Burritowrap · 26/08/2024 11:02

How should I dump him? In person?

I would very honestly do it by text. Who gives a toss? He's a prick. Dump him and move on with life

midlifeattheoasis · 26/08/2024 11:14

BIN

tothelefttotheleft · 26/08/2024 11:14

Mumsnetters usually write really good texts on these kind of threads. I'd wait for one of them and then send it to him.

Newtt · 26/08/2024 11:15

Burritowrap · 26/08/2024 11:02

How should I dump him? In person?

For real?

LoneHydrangea · 26/08/2024 11:15

Dump him. He’s biding his time with you until someone better (in his eyes) comes along.