Husband brought colleague home overnight

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My husband started a new job this year where he works night shift at a hospital. He normally comes home when I'm already deeply asleep. This morning he informed me that one of his colleagues was asleep on the sofa. Apparently she couldn't find her house keys and he offered she'd stay with us. I'm not super happy with that because 1) I have never met her, 2) we have small children and I don't feel comfortable having a complete stranger in my house, especially while I'm asleep. AIBU to think she should have tried staying with friends/family or called a locksmith? My husband said she has extremely bad mental health issues and he was concerned for her, which I do empathise with. She's still asleep on our sofa now...

I think you are overthinking it. I would have zero concern if my DH's female friend or colleague crashed on our couch. What are you worried about?

Well I think in honesty your DH just reacted to a colleague in distress and whilst he didn't think about all the possible downsides, this is a colleague from hospital so it's not like a random off the street. So I think you're being a bit unreasonable as he clearly wasn't going to call you at 5am and check if it was OK

It’s a bit of a shock to wake up and be told that someone is unexpectedly sleeping on your sofa. Other than that, I can’t get worked up about it tbh

Well done to your DH not leaving her on the street alone in the middle of the night.

I would be way more annoyed if he had woken me up to ask if it was OK.

Your DH did the decent thing. She’s not a complete stranger to him.

I agree with this

If you don’t know the person then how do you know her friends/family situation? She might have been desperate and had no one to reach out to.

I’d want forewarning but other than that at least your husband has empathy. I couldn’t get worked up over my husband helping someone in need. It’s not like it was a drunk person off the street.

How is this an issue? Unless this happens weekly ir there is a massive back story, I would be proud of him!

Yeah this

It’s a bit of a surprise of a morning, but as a one off I wouldn’t worry about it.

Yeah I’d be proud of him, and cooking up breakfast, tbh.

I wouldn’t have cared.

Your husband sounds like a good man.

I think it's fine. She's not a complete stranger to your husband, and presumably you trust his judgement in terms of who is safe to be around his family. Calling a locksmith in the middle of the night or waking up friends who were already fast asleep would have been a lot more hassle for everyone involved than just coming home with your husband and kipping on the sofa. Your other half sounds like a decent bloke who did the right thing to help a friend in a tricky situation.

This wouldn't bother me. She'll also have been DBS checked as she works in a hospital if that is bothering you.

Don't you trust your husband's judgment about people?

I assume from the fact that you were deeply asleep when he came home that it was in the small hours of the morning? Where do you think the colleague would find a locksmith at that hour?

She's not a complete stranger though is she?
She's a work colleague

You've already said its late enough that you're asleep when he comes home, not unreasonable that others are the same and crashing on your couch was the least disruptive

And coming home late, I'd expect her (and him!) to still be asleep at 9am tbh

So long as it doesn't become habit then it's fine

I suppose I'd be a bit put out if it then had to stay quiet in my own house till later morning/ afternoon when she wakes up. Getting in at 5, so she'll be asleep till about 1pm. But id suck it up for one day.

Nah I wouldn't like this. Imagine the opposite way around? My DH would be equally unhappy to come downstairs with our toddler to a random man on our sofa. And I wouldn't blame him.

Yes, it's a bit of a shock but as a one off?- its fine. It was kind of him to help.

However, what I would be pissed about is if this turned into a regular thing- thats not ok.

Give him the benefit of the doubt this time. He did a good thing.

But he does know her and wanted to help her out? I’d be a lot more annoyed with my husband if he’d left this woman alone on the street to deal with her problem.

The way you write about it is like you’re a parent and your husband is your teenager who’s let their mate sleepover without asking you first. but you’re both adults and it’s your home equally.

Well the OP a doesn’t need to be quiet quiet, I’d just crack on with my day and offer her a cup of tea when she wakes up before she heads home.

Just to clarify, their shift ends at 11, which is when I go to bed. Night shift is the wrong word, sorry, he just calls it that. So he could've definitely given me a heads up.

But you're all right. He did the best thing in the situation. I think the initial shock and my own baggage got to me (my parents were drug users so lots of weirdos going in and out all day and night).

No big deal. Have some compassion and faith in his judgement. This woman is a colleague who would have been exhausted.