Husband brought colleague home overnight

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My husband started a new job this year where he works night shift at a hospital. He normally comes home when I'm already deeply asleep. This morning he informed me that one of his colleagues was asleep on the sofa. Apparently she couldn't find her house keys and he offered she'd stay with us. I'm not super happy with that because 1) I have never met her, 2) we have small children and I don't feel comfortable having a complete stranger in my house, especially while I'm asleep. AIBU to think she should have tried staying with friends/family or called a locksmith? My husband said she has extremely bad mental health issues and he was concerned for her, which I do empathise with. She's still asleep on our sofa now...

You wouldn't let anyone in your house with mental health issues? That is a terrible thing to say. So if a friend or family member was suffering from anxiety, depression, post-traumatic issues after an accident or traumatic childbirth...etc etc...? That's them out of your life then?

sounds like he was just being nice - understand you dont like waking up and hearing that but i'm sure it doesn't happen very often (!) so I would be glad my DH is like that and be nice to her too!

This isn't a complete stranger, it's someone your DH knows and has judged safe enough to be around the kids.... totally different.

this comes off as rather cold hearted - is that what you intended?

I’d be a bit perturbed but understanding of the issue generally. The fact that she has bad mental health issues however would make me very concerned with her in my house with children. I wouldn’t be happy

I would be very unhappy that he didn't wake me and let me know.

My ex partner did that. Then it turned out to be more than just a work friend. And my whole world ended being turned upside down. I'd make it clear to her it's not going to happen again. Be polite but make it clear to her it's not going to happen. As she will end up getting nice and comfortable with your husband.

Wouldn't be a big deal for me personally but we have always been big mental health advocates and made it clear to friends and family that there is always a safe space here if needed. Just have a conversation with DH, share your concerns and perhaps offer to keep a spare key for her in case it happens again

You are reading your own experience into that of the op, which I am sure is quite above board.

I'm sorry things were bad for you but not everyone is like your ex, Whitewitchy. I'd have trusted my late husband's integrity in a similar situation, as he would mine.

Would you let a male colleague with bad MH stay at your home? Thought not.

I wouldn't accept this op. That woman's mh is not our family's concern. I would think dh would point her to some numbers to call, not bring her problems to our home.

Completely depends on the context.

I wouldn't banish anyone just because of bad MH.

@Unicornsanddiscoballs91 I wouldn't either, I would just assess the impact on my own family first.

Bringing a colleague home to stay overnight because of this isn't a good reason to me. Sounds far more to the story than that.

I didn't think I'd come back to this thread to update. The replies made me feel like I completely overreacted. And I felt so guilty for judging my husband's good deed. Well, yesterday whilst tidying our bedroom, I found a birthday card for her. Saying wonderful things like "I am so grateful to exist in the same universe as you", "you are everything" and signed with a pet name they seem to have for one another. I confronted him. At first he tried to argue they're just friends. Then he broke down. They've slept together. He felt sorry for her, just wanted to help her, support her, and then "one thing led to another".

I'm devastated, hurt, angry, sad, furious... Especially for our poor children. Never thought it could happen to us. I mentioned before that I grew up in a very broken household. All I wanted was a stable, loving family. I feel so sick.

So sorry OP, more poor decision making from him.
I think you need to reach out for support yourself from friends and family.
I am so sorry.

I am sorry OP. Lots of us were wrong and you were right with your gut feeling. What a stupid, stupid man.

"One thing led to another" my backside. Always the same old lines they trot out, eh?

Oh no! So sorry to read your update. You must be devastated.

Bloody hell!!!! What the actual!???? So so sorry OP 😡

Oh, sweetheart. I’m so sorry. What a prick.

“One thing led to another”? What a load of shit. He could have stopped at any point before sticking his dick in her.

This is the point at which you have to process what he’s done and decide how you want to move forward. It will be hard. Vent here if you need to. Sending hugs. 💕

I'm so sorry, OP.

What a pair of hard faced fuckers - the mind boggles. She is foul and so is he.

Cunts.