To consider reporting him

[cantbelieveimaskingthis2]

I have a much younger brother who is now in his late 20s. He had a very difficult childhood as our parents have a lot of problems (disability, mental illness and some substance abuse), and whilst they love/d us, they often couldn’t care well for us. After I left home my bro was quite neglected, physically and emotionally.

I love him to bits, he was a gorgeous child. But I fear has not grown into a very nice adult.

The dilemma is this. He went to uni but having graduated with an ok degree, he has never had a job, ever. He doesn’t want to work in an office (fair enough) and has had various ideas but never settled on anything. However he rents a decent flat (i think a housing benefit scam maybe), always has plenty of disposable income. He travels extensively. He doesn’t live extravagantly but he has nice clothes, and travels well, ie: eats out for 3 meals a day for 6 months of the year when he is abroad.

It’s become apparent to me recently what is staring my family in the face which is there is no way he is coming by this money legally. My parents believe him when he says he’s just very frugal with his benefits money. But I know what things cost and there’s no way people on the dole can afford to be living it up in Thailand for months at a time? When I’ve asked him he’s given various excuses or deflections about investing in crypto but a few questions show he knows nothing about crypto so its obviously not true.

Our family are poor working class, there are no secret inheritances or anything.

So. I have concluded he’s probably up to no good but I can’t be sure. He‘s a gentle giant and i couldn’t imagine him harming anyone but he is a big bloke. He could if he wanted to. And with the amount of money and travel, it feels like he’s not small-time dabbling either. I have this feeling he’s doing something bad-bad. Something that could get him in real trouble. Or hurt. Or others hurt. But I have no evidence.

WIBU to report him to the police to try and force him out of whatever mess he is in?

I know for sure he will not listen even if I beg him to stop whatever it is I think he’s up to. After all he’s living his best life I guess.

i’ve explained this before. 2 reasons.

1. i am worried he is going to come to some awful harm, be murdered or end up in a foreign jail.
2. I have big moral concerns about how many people he could be hurting in his line of work.

on the basis of 1, being in a uk system and being prevented from doing to bad stuff any more could save him from further harm and force him on a different path. On 2, i’m worried by looking the other way i’m culpable.

Well, as it stands, it is the only thing you could reasonably take to the police anyway.

All the other stuff is just a hunch you have which unfortunately isn't gonna hold up without proof.

Whether it's morally correct is a different matter - you don't know and we certainly don't know what he is doing or if he even is doing something bad. So really, my answer remains the same - leave it alone.

Then go to the police on benefit fraud. That's all you have right now.

Although, the police do not even deal with benefit fraud. So really, there is nothing you can currently report.

He’s not that bright, truly. I wouldn’t say he’s flashing it but he’s not as circumspact as you’d think, like when i have had to take out big amounts to pay builders etc i have put the money in my shoe as i’m so paranoid. But no he’s quite blatant about it

But if he’s not that bright, surely he’d have been caught by now?

For all you know he could have a rich older boyfriend/girlfriend financing his lifestyle - sugar baby type thing. There’s sooo many other things it could be, why did you immediately leap to drug smuggling?

This is all over the place. I can make an educated guess, i know for sure, it’s housing benefit, it’s drugs, he’s thousands, he’s not smart, he’s a criminal mastermind making thousands and thousands.

at least stick to one line,

No loan, he has ccjs and no access to credit.

As i’ve said elsewhere on the thread, i am 100% sure on the criminal activity part. I know that he is not doing cash in hand work.

If i went to the police and i was wrong i’d be totally relieved! I don’t want my brother to be a bad guy. I love him.

I also don’t know how going to the cops would work, i guess i thought i’d tell them what i thought and why and let them decide if they’d investigate or not. If they found he was doing bad stuff they’d make him stop. It does sound kind of naive reading it back!

To be honest, it sounds like you have a vendetta against him and if I was the police I’d be wondering why and whether this constituted harrasement?! Given you have literally no evidence so you can’t be ‘100% sure’ lol

Hm fair enough it probably seems that way. Some of this is my thoughts evolving as the thread has gone on. Some is that mumsnet have filtered out loads of my posts.

educated guess / absolutely certain - choice of words. I have made an educated guess by excluding every other possibility. Having made that guess i am totally sure i am right.

i know he is scamming benefits, not least for the fact he’s constantly travelling when he shouldn’t be, and he is scamming housing benefit. He has been pretty open with me about that.

the housing benefit thing is bad but that alone cannot explain what i’m seeing. So i am absolutely sure he is also doing bad stuff with drugs. The travel, the burner phones, the cash… c’mon, it’s obvious.

I don’t think he is a mastermind. I don’t think you need to be a mastermind to be a drug dealer or to make a lot of money from it. And yeah, showing people you have a wad of thousands in your pocket is a not-bright thing to do!

OP to give you the benefit of the doubt, you really love and care for your brother than I understand wanting to protect them.

Unfortunately, sometimes we simply can't and adults will make their own choices and have to live by them.

We can give advice but you cannot force someone to listen. It's crap but that is just the way it is.

I don't see what choice you have based on your posts.

I don’t have a vendetta against him. I love him to distraction, i pretty much raised him when we were young, and my fear that he will come to harm is very real.

If he gets murdered in some drugs deal gone wrong and i could have prevented it i will never forgive myself.

Out of interest, how is he scamming housing benefit?

Raised him? You said you were both millennials but in your OP you say he’s much younger? I don’t think this post can be real

The one i know about is he got a lease on an expensive flat, then claimed unemployment and got housing benefit to cover the rent, then sublet the room for more than he was paying in rent, and then moved to a way smaller / cheaper place. I’m not sure of the details (as i didn’t want to know, i don’t approve), but he explained it as he was quite pleased with himself

I’m an old millenial, he’s a young (?) millenial. He’s 11 years younger. Our parents had lots of problems (story for another day) so i did most of the care for him when we were young. Then i left home and the wheels came off for him sadly.

I’m trying to avoid too much identifying detail though thats gone out the window a bit now

Why would he do that if he’s making £1000s in drug smuggling money though?

Hah. Good question. no idea.

I also love the idea that i’d make up an imaginary brother and imaginary moral dilemma just to spend all evening online expanding on this imaginary universe 😂

i can assure you we are both real

Unless it's a council place he's subletting he won't be making much off that scam, housing benefit will only pay him enough to cover the cost of a single room in a house share at his age. Sounds like you've misunderstood and assumed he's doing something illegal, subletting isn't illegal.

Subletting isn’t but

if you rent a place at £200 a week
then claim housing benefit to cover the full cost, so you get £200 a week benefit
then sublet it for £250
and then rent a place for £100

pocketing the £100 change for benefits

that’s definitely illegal

The benefits thing is sort of a rabbit-hole, i wouldn’t get involved in reporting him for it though i do not approve. The thing i am concerned about is drug dealing / trafficking

Yeah could it be that he took out an ‘expensive’ lease on a flat, became unemployed had to sublet the room because he couldn’t get housing benefit and therefore had to move into a house share and use housing benefit for that.

It also makes no sense if he has £1000s of pounds from his drug smuggling trade

I suspect Spy

I’m defo thinking he has an older, rich partner who is financing his lifestyle!

or that two, as the expenses are not adding up otherwise