To think you should compliment someone’s home?

[freeabdhappy]

If they are your friend and it’s their first time visiting?

I always tell my friends how nice I think their homes are when I visit - even if it’s not to my taste in the slightest.

Never thought about it. I don't think I would say anything. It would be like commenting on their appearance, best avoided.

Yes it’s good manners to say something nice or notice if something has changed, it wouldn’t bother me if someone didn’t though, but I like to if I’m around someone else’s.

I compliment if I genuinely think it’s lovely, if I don’t like it or have no thoughts either way, I just say nothing. Why do you want false compliments? Surely you want to know that someone is being genuine when they say nice things? If everyone gives compliments for any reason then it just makes them totally meaningless.

Just because you are doing it doesn’t mean everyone else should. Oh, it’s good manners, is it? Even if they don’t like it? Since when did lying become good manners?

The trick is to find something you genuinely like and say that. If you can’t find anything, don’t say anything.

There’s always something positive you can comment on but I wouldn’t tell someone their house was nice if I didn’t think it was. I might comment on a picture or the colour of the wallpaper or something else that I liked so I was being authentic.

Why?

I do think that if you visit someone at Christmas it’s good manners to compliment their tree, even if it is not to your taste.

I'd always find something nice to say....even if house wasn't to my taste eg you don't have far to get into town eg oh that's a lovely paint colour on yours walls....even if rest of house was horrendous

But I wouldn't lie

Yes I think it's good manners. Surely there is one positive thing you can say.

I think it's a bit odd to say their home is nice if you don't like it.

Better to find something you do like in their home and compliment that. Even if it's a kettle or something.

I think you should compliment the house if you see something about it that is particularly noteworthy or you particularly like.

I don't want my friends to think they have to pay me compliments out of some sort of politeness. And unless they have come particularly to see the house, I assume the point of the visit is to spend time with me.

(on the flipside coming to someone's house for the first time and criticising things about it, is most definitely rude).

I would usually do this but I don't know that I notice whether others do when they visit.

It's polite to say something nice but I don't think it's rude not to either (unless the visit is a housewarming or a first visit after building work or something).

I think it’s a bit rude to comment on the house in general, a bit like you’re judging it like a hotel guest or as an estate agent.
Commenting on something specific like ‘I love that picture’ or ‘nice colour’ or something, fine.

I can't say I expect anyone to make any comments about my house to be honest

Yes I think so. I’m older and compliments to me are socially normal. And surely you can give a genuine compliment ..oh you have your grandmums teapot out… or some thing like that. I also believe in complimenting people’s appearance and have no difficulty finding something genuine to comment on…is that your mums necklace?…. Homes matter to people and many people do take pride in their home. I think affirming that is a nice thing to do.

Yes of course it’s good manners to comment positively on someone’s home.

i suppose there are some circumstances where you might not be able to find any positives in which case, perhaps better to keep quiet but I’d imagine they are very few and far between.

even if someone has moved into an absolutely building site you’d manage “congratulations, it must be fabulous having moved into your new home. Or if they’re living in the most ghastly renovation you could say “wow you’ve worked so hard. What an achievement, you must be delighted?”

I always tell my friends how nice I think their homes are when I visit - even if it’s not to my taste in the slightest.

It wouldn't occur to me to lie to my friends?

Nor do I think they expect everyone they're friends with to compliment their homes.

When I visit my friends, it's because I want to see them. It doesn't really occur to me that I should be passing comment on the place they've chosen to live.

Different if it's natural and to my taste, as I'd just come out and say "Oh that's lovely" or similar I suppose?

Absolutely. It’s polite to. And they're my friends so of course I like their taste.

So you would lie to your friends just to say something? Weird.

If I like something then I'll say so.
I don't lie and compliment for the sake of it.

Homes matter to people and many people do take pride in their home

i agree with this.

for most people it’s one of their biggest investments, whether that be in time, money or effort.

This.

It shouldn't matter if others like it or not.

The 'of course' bit doesn't make any sense at all.

Are you only friends with people whose homes are to your taste?

My best friend of nearly 30 years lives in a tiny council flat, in a tower block on an awful estate.

It's never stopped her being my friend though?