To think you should compliment someone’s home?

[freeabdhappy]

If they are your friend and it’s their first time visiting?

I always tell my friends how nice I think their homes are when I visit - even if it’s not to my taste in the slightest.

Now I would compliment that one and mean it most sincerely.

But generally why would one compliment a tree with a load of tat on it??

I would always say something nice! It's rude not to. And even if it's not immediately apparent, I'll find something to compliment! I would make sure it was genuinely meant though.

this is such a middle class thing isn't it...how is lying about something no one asked your opinion on, polite?! 🤣 totally crackers

Do folks not socialise much on here or something. 😂

Goodness you’re taking real issue with complimenting folks houses. 😂

Can't believe you're asking this question.

If I to someone's house (unless it's explicitly a house warming/to see their new extension etc) I focus on the person I've come to see rather than their house.

I think the idea is weird and fake

Isn't it a given that you say nice things about the things that matter to your family and friends?

not with people who fib about liking my house! 😁

I think you have misunderstood my post:

Have I? How so?

You seem to think that those of us who say we would compliment a friend's home after saying so because we expect others to compliment our homes. That's not it, we're talking about giving not receiving compliments.

No. You should be genuine. If you like someone's home say so by all means, but if you don't, you shouldn't lie. There's always something nice you can say as a guest, compliment the food, say how good the company has been, whatever, but it needs to be sincere. Otherwise its worthless really.

Especially when your host knows you're lying because they're part of the same circle of fibbers and know the script!

How would you know?

Agreed, a combination of envy and poor social skills!

Have you missed the fact that it wasn't my home? No need to berate me.

I don't think she was either snippy/made people feel small or in possession of poor social skills at any point nor did I think she was "charmingly down to earth"...just increasingly wearied, exasperated and not having the energy to entertain the fawning at people being so desperate to compliment a building site that they totally ignored her instructions and the fact she'd made it clear that she wanted them to make their way out of the construction area and into the area of the house that was finished and where the party was taking place.

She very clearly explained they were originally supposed to enter the party round the back but her husband had lost the key, that guests needed to please ignore the "bombsite" (as it wasn't meant for guests) and to make their way straight down the hall to the kitchen.

To ignore that, stand gawping at a freshly plastered wall, gushing about the pattern formation when she was already stressed and had explicitly asked them to just head straight for the party room was pretty poor in the social skills department too, no matter how well intended.

"I'll just not bother painting then shall I, if the partially wet plaster looks so good? Please...just go to the kitchen...you weren't meant to see this part!" and "That's not paint. It's plaster. Kitchen. That way. Please! Food's getting cold." Was as "snippy" as it got.

Except that it clearly didn't make anyone feel good about themselves, except maybe the poster's friend as she thought of herself as being very "polite". Also, it's a bit of an assumption that I need someone's platitudes to feel good about myself. If you are invited to my house, I honestly just want you to sit down, have a cup of tea and spend some time talking to me about deep meaningful stuff. You don't need to fill in the gaps with small talk or fake compliments. I think, deep down, most people would prefer that.

I think most people like a compliment if it’s delivered in a heart felt manner, doesn’t matter if the person is telling the truth or not, doesn’t mean uou can’t also sit and talk about deep and meaningful stuff. Although to be fair if every time I saw someone they always wanted a deep and meaningful id feel exhausted by them eventually. As conversation should ebb and flow across multiple paths,

So most people on here are saying they wouldn't necessarily compliment for the sake of complimenting, but yet you've picked my comment out to say you can't believe I'm asking it?

So if you walked into someone's house and it was filthy and smelly and looked awful, you'd just compliment them anyway? That's weird.

No, it really did make me feel much worse. You've summed up how I felt and feel perfectly.

So, if you don't want to lie and say you like someone's home when you don't like their home, its because you envy them the home that you don't like enough to be able to compliment them on without lying?

Personally I’ve been lucky enough never to encounter this, and I think it’s clear people are not talking about visiting shitholes. Why go to such extremes.

Yes, makes total sense, doesn't it? 🤣