He said if I don't trust him enough to do this then ....

[Springstomind]

Partner has been asking me to send him a naked photo of myself. We have been together for a year, we don't live together. He says I want "my photo" and brings it up a lot. I have been brushing it off etc and recently told him that I don't want to risk a naked photo of myself to get out in the public as you just never know these days.
His response was that if I don't trust him with a naked photo of myself then I shouldn't trust him enough to have sex with.

Aibu?

Worrying

Please don't do it.

Is he also a sex pest?

Creep...

If he doesn't respect your boundaries, then he doesn't respect you. Trust is only earned with respect

This !!!

He's right. You shouldn't trust him enough to have sex with him.

Obviously don't do this.

Yes, exactly. Or for revenge porn. There is NOTHING good about this man.

99% yrnbu. 🤣 There u go. Problem solved 😁

YANBU. If he asks again, block his number.

No, no, no. The demands will just get worse.

Please don’t give in to this co-ercion no matter what reasons are given - it’s NOT flattery, it’s pressure and of you cross the line once it will be SO much harder to go back. ( “ everyone else’s girlfriends di it/ you don’t trust me / what’s the issue etc etc). It is NOT for you to have to justify your reason to wish to keep your body private. If your so called boyfriend can’t see the difference between you “ trusting him “ to have sex versus him having a nice photo the issue is all his. As to “ HIS photo” sounds like next is HIS girlfriend’s body the type that once you’ve said yes to sex you can never say no. NO female needs a boyfriend so badly that you tolerate such a GINORMOUS RED FLAG. Please either leave him , or if you don’t want to do that tell him the subject is completely closed forever and one more word about it and you are through. It will only get worse. He’s either ( at best) totally immature ; at worst conniving, manipulative and disrespectful. Only you know which.

Sorry don’t know how to edit- nude photo not nice photo!

Don’t do it….this is from someone who did. Things escalate……why won’t you do this,…..you did this with an ex……if you love me you would…, photos without consent that I wasn’t aware of till he showed me…

I’ve not shared this with anyone, as I’m ashamed (except a counsellor) hence the name change-but thought it may be a helpful bit of reality. It’s caused me endless mind issues….

I am married over 25 years, and on my 2nd stint of long distance for work purposes, trust my DH explicitly and implicitly.

Neither of us have ever sent a nude. And never will.

You should never be pressured for something like that, particularly as you have expressed your boundaries to DP. What other boundaries does he want to breach - sending the photo somewhere, rougher sex than you want, assault, rape...??? Not saying he will - but pushing back on 1 significant boundary is not a good sign for others in due course.

Exactly

Doesn't respect you or your views - you can bet he'll use it as leverage - Get rid !

Honestly, please see what’s happening here. It’s not an ‘obsession’ like a passion or a need or something- it’s a trick to get you under his control more. It’s a device to put you in a more vulnerable position. He knows he can ‘‘threaten’ you and ‘coerce’ you once he’s got that photo over you. Honestly he’ll change into a different person once he has it - and then it’s too late. If you don’t believe me ask him to let you take one of him naked and in a really vulnerable embarrassing position. If he says it’s about trust he should be willing. If not then he’s clearly the problem isn’t he.

He's an arsehole. He doesn't value you as a woman or as a partner, he just sees you as a sex toy.

Dump him fast and DON'T send him any stupid nudie things!

To my mind this is emotional blackmail of the sleaziest kind and it's goodbye.

RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN. Huge red flag. He should love you enough to respect your boundaries over your own body. Makes me fuming just reading it. How dare he!? 😡

He’s a childish arsehole! You’re absolutely right to be cautious! You hear so many stories about things getting out in the public domain when the relationship breaks down. Do not cave in to his demands, he is being completely unreasonable!

With any luck the coppers will find him in his favourite layby spanking his monkey over his phone wank-bank of Exes.

He is a domineering bully. Doesn't matter about trust, stupid man. Tell him it's non negational, so he can like it or lump it. More to the point stop the sex until he backs off, if he doesn't, dump him